Tonight at midnight I begin my monthlong fast, that means all day today I need to pack and shovel in all the food I can find.

I need to run and get the supplies needed to keep this fast healthy and manageable. Must have lots of water. Lemon juice. Maple syrup, grade A dark amber. Cayenne pepper. Vitamins. And lots of babywipes to keep my bottom fresh and smooth and stinky free with all hot and spicy water I will be shooting out of my ass for the next 31 days!

Please pray for me, Jesus would!

Not into videogames very much...

I like watching others play. I like the technology. I am very interested in the packaging.

I guess I just suck so badly at playing, I gave up.

The cool thing is, I just did a voice over job for a videogame called, "Zayo" about a killer rabbit!

I would like to do more of these, the money is good and if the game rocks, you can be very popular with your friends that are gamers.

I'm considering fasting starting this next month!

You know I love to fast, and boy the 1st of August is the start of a big one!

I have to do these things on the first of the month, I don't know why? I just do. I might try to do this fast for the entire month.

I guess I should look at a calendar to see how many days August has in it, it would be great if it only had one day, so I could get the Alice Springs chicken with garlic roasted potatoes with the French onion soup at Outback Steakhouse the next day.

I've been in quite a funk lately, as I hear more stories about my father's condition.

A few months back he slipped into dementia after the death of his longtime companion and my family who live near him were forced to try to place him in a home that could care for him.

Everything he had was sold.

As he was receiving care and proper medication his dementia faded and his old cranky bitter self returned. Now he has nothing in the way of a home or possessions and he was very angry to discover this. So angry in fact, he couldn't be contained.

In a call from my niece, she told me about a conversation she had with him where he explained after the death of his girlfriend he lost all will to live and stopped taking his medication. Withdrawal symptoms from long-term usage of numerous drugs shut his mind and body down.

This all causes me to think about my own mortality and future health. I have no insurance. No savings. No home.

I'm as loose as ashes in the wind.

While my photographs have been a popular item on my posts, I believe I'm going to refrain from posting new pics and possibly removing old photos from the archives.

The number of people linking directly to the photographs and posting them on their websites and myspace pages has increased exponentially reducing my bandwidth.

I know it may be boring, but I may reduce my page to text, video and audio only.

Messages from concerned readers and listeners wondering if I've actually passed away have flooded my mailbox!

I've been very busy doing new and exciting things with plans for cool future activities!

Stay tuned to learn more!

If you were on a deserted island and could only have one song, one book, one movie...

I use to have this very popular show called, "Gilligan's Jukebox" where people would tell me their songs, it was basically Desert Island Discs.

I used to like that idea. It was a nice icebreaker. Gets folks a' talkin'.

I'd never be lucky enough to have the items I liked with me at the moment the plane crashed or the boat sank.

Who needs the music anyway? Trying to remember the lyrics is the fun part!

There's a new Tee Vee show all about that, now. Remembering the lyrics.

I was told recently about how someone use to mess up the lyrics from Berlin's song, "Riding on the Metro":

I was on a Paris train
I emerged in London rain
and you were waiting there
swimming through apologies

But she thought the line said:

swimming through a pile of cheese

That cracks me up!

Everyone knows someone that's always messing up lyrics, it might even be you. My friend Tracy started laughing at me when I was singing along with Radiohead's, "Everything in it's Right Place" and I sang:

Yesterday I woke up sucking a lemon

She believed the line was:

Yesterday I woke up soaking wet

She argued and argued and after I proved her wrong, it seemed she lost all respect for Radiohead for writing a stupid lyric like that.

Not as stupid as songs with the easy rhyme, like Billy Joel's, "Piano Man" with:

Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talkin' with Davy who's still in the navy
And probably will be for life

Thank God Davy was in the Navy and not in the Marines, cause that wouldn't rhyme.

Man, my dreams can be so weird!

There's a girl I was in love with years ago that has recently been in contact with me and she told me she's had some worrisome dreams about me and wanted to make sure I was okay.

I'm always hesitant to say, "I'm Okay" because I'm not really sure I am.

Now, I have had a troubling dream about her! Now she's in my head! The dream was terrifying as we both were in trouble!

It was one of those horrible dreams that seemed to never end. I was trembling after it was over. I wanted to go back to sleep, I was so tired from it.

Sometimes they seem so real.

I wonder if there is anything to it, or is it just because she told me she had a dream about me, that I had the dream about her?

So many of my dreams involve some strange landscape, roads, towns and old dilapidated houses I've never been to before. These odd places seem familiar, but in waking, I know I've never been there.

I have this one reoccurring dream where I'm crawling into a dark cave to sleep and I can see eyes staring at me in the dark. It's raining and storming outside and I need to rest. I'm scared. I don't know what kind of creatures these eyes belong to... Might be bears, or deer, so I make like I'm a huge crazed animal and start growling to mark my territory and show these monsters I'm the alpha-dog, then I wake up and it's me snoring.

I hate that stupid dream!

I'm sure you have plopped down your hard earned cash for the new Harry Potter book, and that's cool and all, I've just never been into it.

I'm not against it, I like that people are reading these books and see all the movies, it's just after all of the "Lord of the Rings" movies I think I've been tapped out in the fantasy field.

One fantastic thing I have been thinking about is the idea of J.K. Rowling's being the first person to become a billionaire through writing. Ten years before she was on government assistance.

Imagine that!

She is a billionaire for just dreaming shit up and writing it down!

That is true alchemy!

She took thoughts that cost her nothing and spun gold from it.

I was watching the film "Cinema Paradiso" which is a film I love, but seeing it on the channel Ovation was so painful because every five seconds the subtitles were covered up by a crawl at the bottom of the screen promoting an upcoming show.

You couldn't tell what they were saying!

It was so stupid!

Then there was six minute commercial breaks every three minutes turning this film into a miniseries.

I like the idea of the channel Ovation, but they need to get their heads out of their asses!

Still, watching the film brought back lots of memories of when I use to be a projectionist at a small theater. At one theater I worked, it may have been the best jobs I ever had, my crew was fun and going to work was always exciting.

Sometimes I think that I'd like to go back into the movie exhibition business and have a small theater of my own. I know there's no money to be made in it, it's just a romantic idea.

I was so hurt by the news Sherman Torgan, owner of the New Beverly Cinema, died while bicycling in Santa Monica. I consider his son Michael a good friend of mine and hope the place can stay open.

It would be so sad to lose that theater.

It seems to me that at times this website has some sort of mystical power, let me explain.

Several times in the past I have posted something about someone and some horrible fate has befallen the subject just days later.

Just recently have made several posts about my love for the movie, "Easy Rider" and then one of my favorite cinematographer's Laszlo Kovacs, the Hungarian-born cinematographer who shot classics like, "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies," "Shampoo" "Paper Moon," and "New York, New York" died in his sleep in Beverly Hills. He was 74.

I should stop writing about things I love and only write about things I despise!

Its weird not having Photographs in these posts, isn't it?

It's not like I haven't taken a bunch of photos. I take pictures all the time, of the most mundane things, too!

Time is running out!

I've never been more conscious of time and energy slipping away that I have now. This is because since I got my digital camera back all cleaned and repaired from Canon, I have misplaced the battery charger and I fear what I will do when the energy is completely drained.

I can't help but identify with my little silver digital camera, I too, feel drained.

Lots of people from Fresno have been emailing me about hearing me on 104.1, saying how great it sounds and how nice it is to have me back on the air!

Recently, the radio industry trade Website AllAccess.com posted an interview I did with them sometime back, this has given me a lot of attention and people from all over have contacted me about it.

I shall post it here for you:

AllAccess: What do you do to maintain a positive mental attitude and stay motivated?

I like to read the book "The Secret" and watch Oprah, and I'm forced to spend at
least two hours job-hunting before rewarding myself with porn.

AllAccess: What's the craziest thing you've ever done to get a job?

There was a time when I used to have parties every weekend. I mean, every weekend! I had a party on Friday night, and then I would have a party on Saturday night, with different people, of course. I did this because I was poor and these were potluck parties, and after the party people would leave the extra booze and extra food behind. And I would live the rest of the week on those supplies. At one party, a newspaper reporter friend brought the station manager of a local station. Another friend of mine at the time, who was an exotic dancer working her way through college, got into an intimate conversation with the station manager. A few weeks later I got pictures from the party, and just as a joke I sent my resume with his pictures.

AllAccess: How are you finding the "courtesy level" at places you've applied? (Callbacks, emails, rejection letters, etc.)

It's pretty horrible. Nothing makes me feel bad about the industry more than this. I would say at least 10 times in the last year I've been outright offered the job by a PD, and I started making arrangements and packing bags, only to be told that he didn't have the authority, or the consultant had other plans, or that corporate was plugging in a syndicated show. The level of courtesy is very poor, but those who apply a little kindness will definitely stand out and shine.

AllAccess: What's the most unbelievable question you've ever been asked in an interview?

I was asked if I can help him get a job at a former station.

AllAccess: With consolidation, there are definitely fewer jobs. How do you separate yourself from the pack?

Be your own personality. Don't try to be someone else. The fakers are easy to spot. Be credible. Be true to yourself. If you are passionate, that's attractive to others and an audience will find you.

AllAccess: Are you able to slow down and enjoy free time doing things with your family and friends that you probably did not have time to do while you were working?

Not at all. They're all working so hard to support me, they have to keep going!

AllAccess: What has been your biggest career accomplishment?

Directing a live concert video featuring Pearl Jam for a station promotion and then later having it play at the Sundance Film Festival.

AllAccess: What have you learned about yourself, others, or life in general in your downtime?

Every day is an opportunity for something miraculous and inspiring to happen that will change me or the world around me. It may not happen while I'm playing World of Warcraft, watching TV, or feeling down about not getting the station I wanted, but when the door opens I'm stepping through.

AllAccess: If you were offered a similar position to what you were doing for considerably less money, would you seriously consider taking the job just to stay in the biz?

Absolutely! I would fill the gap in income by setting up a meth lab.

AllAccess: Having been through all you have dealt with in this biz, what advice would you give people trying to break in?

Make sure you have other skills!

BONUS QUESTION AllAccess: Any books you can recommend to people who need something inspirational to read?

"The Game" by Neil Strauss, "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, and Simon Callow's Orson Welles biographies are great!

I need to find a way to bring more money into my life!

Not a whole lot of money, just a comfortable amount to live on.

But I also need to find a way to find someone who will buy me a mansion in the Hollywood Hills and give it to me for free, because that small amount money I'm going to be living on in the sentence above ain't gonna cut it with my spendy lifestyle.

I don't want to be greedy when I pray to God and the baby Jesus, and I think asking for money from them is so uncouth, so instead I pray for a way to get what I need for free in the form of gifts and finding things that have fallen off the truck.

Used to be, I thought that instead of asking for a treasure, if I asked for a treasure map instead... See what I'm saying?

So many old friends are coming out of the woodworks and finding me on Myspace!

It really is so amazing!

It's funny how some people you were friends with either grew tired of you, or you grew tired of them and moved on, or you had knocked down drag out fights that ended it all, yet years later they contact you and all that trouble seemed to have faded away.

It kind of makes it easier knowing this while you are dealing with the assholes in your life now.

I was deeply saddened to discover that my favorite subscription on Youtube, the guy posting my favorite videos, has had his account suspended due to copyright infringement.

The guy posted a lot of great and cool videos pertaining to filmmaking.

I re-posted some of his videos here and now those videos are gone leaving huge empty holes in my archives.

I had been warned by several readers not to post Youtube videos on my site for this very reason.

Also, I am nearly to the end of my bandwidth and this page teeters on the brink of exceeding it and being shut down for the month. I believed my next few posts will not contain photos at this time.

Maybe later.

I guess I did spend part of the weekend with Dennis Hopper as AMC played, "Easy Rider!"

Checkout my favorite song from the soundtrack:

The Byrds-Wasn't Born To Follow

Oh I'd rather go and journey where the diamond crest is flowing and
Run across the valley beneath the sacred mountain and
Wander through the forest
Where the trees have leaves of prisms and break the light in colors
That no one knows the names of

And when it's time I'll go and wait beside a legendary fountain
Till I see your form reflected in it's clear and jewelled waters
And if you think I'm ready
You may lead me to the chasm where the rivers of our vision
Flow into one another

I will want to die beneath the white cascading waters
She may beg, she may plead, she may argue with her logic
And then she'll know the things I learned
That really have no value in the end she will surely know
I wasn't born to follow

Is this really a good look?

I saw Jessica Alba wearing something like this and I didn't care for it.

Maybe it's a retro thing, cause I think I've seen some old scifi go-go films with a similar look, but you know with a space helmet on the chick.

It looks to me like two big bites were taken out of the sides during shark week at the beach. And if I were a girl and I had a muffintop thing going on, I wouldn't even go near this.

You'd have to be pretty hot to pull this look off, I guess.

Being that I'm not a girl, I realize I shouldn't even care. I was just over at their Robertson store and lately every time I go in, I leave feeling depressed cause I don't look good in any of their styles and I'm talking just about their Men's clothes.

I admit I love Fashion. I love reading about it. Looking and shopping, but my all time favorite jeans are a pair of Kirkland Signature bought at Costco and some carpenter pants from Walmart. Once when the Burbank K-Mart was going out of business I found a fantastic pair for $4.00!!! I still have them after all these years, no ripped holes or fading and they're great!

Watched a really good documentary on Horror Films of the 70's, 80's...

I wish I could remember the name of it, I could search it, but really do you care that much? Trust me it was good.

Anyway, they covered a lot of movies I had forgotten all about. So many movies were just cranked out because it looked like if you made a horror film, no matter how bad it was, you could put money in the bank. So I guess when there is that freedom not to be worried about how good something is, sometimes good work sneaks out.

Same sorta thing happened when there were all sorts of tax breaks to film investors. You make a bad movie that fails at making money, you could write it off. Filmmakers made some pretty amazing things in that era.

I use to go see the "Friday the 13th" films, but honestly I didn't care for then at the time. Seeing them with friends was fun, but that time period in my life in America was kinda dull I think. I wish I could write off those years of my life and somehow get all that time back.

A friend asked me today who I'd most like to hang out with if I could this weekend, and I said, "Dennis Hopper!"

I may have even shouted it.

Don't know why I said it? It just shot out of me like automatic writing or something.

I love Dennis Hopper!

I'm from Kansas, he's from Kansas.

He was born in 1936, I may have been born in 1963.

He made "Easy Rider," I've seen "Easy Rider." Only like a thousand times, man!!!

I use to have a friend that was pretty close to him and even worked on, "The Last Movie" and even though Hopper was pretty hard to work with and had done what sounded like mean things, this guy loved him.

This guy use to say things to me like, "You need to meet Hoppy! That's like something Hoppy would do!" and things like that, but I didn't know for months that he was talking about Dennis Hopper. I had never heard anyone call him Hoppy. Then when I was listening to Robert Evan's "The Kid Stays in the Picture" audiobook, Jack Nicholson calls him Hoppy.

Hopper has lived an awesome life! The movies alone... Look what he's done for the Art scene especially here in Los Angeles as a great promoter of Artists. It's amazing to me how he was friends with Elvis, James Dean, Andy Warhol, made something like "Easy Rider," lived the hippie lifestyle, yet became close with John Wayne, then became a big supporter of the Republican National Committee??? What???

Oh well...

I still would like to hang out with him this weekend!

This is a two headed cat!

I guess they're not that uncommon, but this one has to take lots of medication because he/they are Bipolar!

I kid you not!

One seems sicker than the other.

The owner calls them "Dexter" even though there really are two cats. They both respond to the name when it's time for food, so I suppose it's okay.

You should see them fight over which dish they are going to eat out of!

My new car blows!

The radio keeps freaking!

It rattles like a whole bunch of shit is loose!

Girls with abs as tight as the skin stretched over my skull, keep checking under the hood.

It unfolds into some kinda pussy Iron Giant named, "Bumblebee"...?

But I have to say, It sure has pretty cute eyes!

Dang, Is my head huge or what? I try and take a picture of the car to prove to you I was there and my noggin' blocks the view. Sorry. I've had to live with it, now you live with it!

I try and I try...

I wish and I wish...

I dream and I dream...

I hope and I hope...

I pray and I pray...

...and still I get NOTHING!!!

What's the point of Candy anyway?

It's a big Question Mark!

What are you going to do?

What are you going to do?

What are you going to do?

You are not gonna have this luxury again of not knowing. And it is a luxury not to know. You can play, you must do that, you must, because it's your only way not to go crazy, because if you are gonna wait for the job, you will die.

This is from the UK TV series "Moving Pictures," Martin Sheen, Sissy Spacek, Jack Fisk and others talk about working with Terrence Malick, one of my absolute favorite filmmakers.

Part 1


Part 2


A tribute to Terrence Malick.


A Most Beautiful Scene in The New World.

Jamie and I stopped off at Burbank's Kwik-E-Mart to get a hotdog, Krusty-O's, Buzz Cola, Squishee and Duff's Beer and guess which one they didn't have?

That's right!

You are so smart!

I couldn't believe they didn't have Duff's Beer!!!

You know that's what everyone wants!

Then Burbank's finest posed with Springfield's finest!

I hope snapping this picture for him gets me a "Get out of Jail Free" card!





Jamie ate just one bowl of Krusty-O's and she hasn't been to bed in days!

She is on a HUGE sugar-high right now!

Sitting in a booth in front of me at a place I was eating, a young guy was eating with his grandparents and telling them of his recent travel adventures to Israel.

I couldn't help but overhear because he was so enthusiastic about his adventures. He floated down a river. He skydived. He jumped off a waterfall.

His grandmother asked him if he was worried about the violence over there and he told her that he felt safer there than here in LA. He said that Fox News makes it all seem so bad. He told them he thought Israeli Military girls were hot!

This kid was so young and he was out there traveling the World and having a great time meeting new people and making new friends. I need to leave so badly and get out there before I'm too old!

I watch Rick Steves, Globetrekker, Travel Channel, and stuff on the Food Network and think I should be doing that. I read these old biographies of people in the early part of the 20th Century and they seemed to travel so easily.

I was looking at campgrounds across America that I could stay at as I went across and found that so many were expensive! Some parks were more expensive to camp at than to stay in a nearby hotel. I guess I was thinking if you were roughing it, it should be near-free!

Who wants to pay to have bugs crawling on you in your tent?

Don't you get the feeling that you are being sold something almost all the time?

I mean how many more commercials can Oprah squeeze into her show?

Larry King on his CNN show interviewing Michael Moore about his "Sicko" movie breaks for pharmaceutical commercials.

I was in traffic today behind a truck whose only job is to drive around with a giant billboard, isn't that a waste of gas? Breathing his fumes, I wondered if whatever the sign was advertising, it must be worth living in greenhouse gases to have.

Just talking with friends I find the conversations are peppered with the currently popular brand name "must have" products.

It's all just so draining!

I saw an antique photograph from Old West, California in the 1800's of a small-town main street where there were no billboards, but above the hotel was a sign that said, "hotel" and above the saloon was a sign that said, "saloon" and even though this was probably not a wi-fi hotzone, this little town looked appealing to me.

I need to be more flexible!

When I was a kid I was obsessed with Moebius strips. I would take a strip of paper, twist it once and tape the two ends together, then take a pair scissors and cut down the center of the strip. Almost everyone I would show this to believe there would be two separate loops of paper, however what you get is two loops interlocked.

I would sit for hours staring at MC Escher paintings and specifically think about meeting myself upside-down on the staircase.

I would fantasize about time travel.

My friends always thought about going into the future, but I imagined what it might be like to go into the past and try to protect myself from the future. I used to try meditating and focusing on a negative event in my past and imagine a more positive situation that I would paste over the bad one. I would be my own historical revisionist!

It occurred to me one day that the intuition and hunches I feel could be my future self recreating my past, protected me from the future. If Nietzsche's is right and we are doomed to relive the same life over and over, this might be a loophole.

Now if I can only send back lotto numbers!

If everything if I am experiencing in my external reality is a reflection of my inner consciousness, why are there still mean people living in the world?

If I see a negative event that I know I'm not presently creating, I become confused and frustrated and start doubting the law of attraction and my reality creating powers. The truth seems to be that although the outer world is a reflection of my inner world, it is only a partial reflection.

What I see in the visible world is not all there is.

The mirror that I'm staring at myself in is not completely clean. There is dust, specks of dried toothpaste where I coughed when my toothbrush went too far down the back of my throat, and the image is reversed in the mirror.

I must need a cleaner mirror!

I feel dizzy, twisted up, and all knotted on the inside...

People are asking me why haven't I been posting more lately?

Simply, I've been stressed out. Stressed out like I have never been before. I'm under so much pressure I just want to chuck it all and run away.

I have feared posting anything that could come back and hurt me.

Things aren't good in my life right now...

Wish me luck!