Here I'm waiting to be launched into space with the girls next door.

I hear it's a Blue Moon tonight. Not sure what it all means. I know that I sleep horribly during a full moon.

Tonight ended with me being drunk again at Hooters in Burbank. I'm drunk as I tpye this, as you can see. Drinking is expensive. I hate it!

I need more money!

Don't want to blow what little I have unless it's something mind altering. It would be great to get real true LSD like they had in the 60s. Once it was legal and even little kids used it.

I'd like to know if this hot looking bird jumped out a window, or is still alive and doing well.

Or this cat, who is said to later have had a great career in Jazz.

I only want my mind to expand because my head is so huge. I thought about getting an Indiana Jones hat at Disneyland, but hats my size are cost prohibitive. On the Space Mountain ride, I felt my brain rolling around the inside of my skull. If I could expand my mind I feel there'd be less room for it to roam.

I think anyway...

This is one deliciously sticky ice cream birthday cake!

Sadly, I've reached that age where it's hard to fit all 29 candles on the cake.

Today involved a Disneyland trip (a gift from Tracy Lee Buchanan from Clovis, CA who always gets mad if she isn't mentioned here) that made me feel young and old. Young, because it brought back so many memories and old, because I was so sore from walking, standing in line and being shaken up in Space Mountain.

May is such a great B'Day month for cool famous people:

Terry Southern, Jack Paar, Glenn Ford, David Beckham, Roscoe Lee Browne, James Brown, Niccolo Machiavelli, Audrey Hepburn, Tyrone Power, Karl Marx, George Clooney, Tony Blair, Rudolph Valentino, Gaston Leroux, Sigmund Freud, Darren McGavin, Gary Cooper, Harry S. Truman, James L. Brooks, Albert Finney, Mike Wallace, Paul "Bono" Hewson, Sid Vicious, David O. Selznick, Fred Astaire, Max Steiner, Mort Sahl, Salvador Dali, Irving Berlin, Tony Hawk, George Carlin, Katharine Hepburn, Samantha Morton, Stephen Colbert, Harvey Keitel, Cate Blanchett, Tim Roth, David Byrne, Robert Zemeckis, George Lucas, Bobby Darin, Jasper Johns, Joseph Cotten, Henry Fonda, Trent Reznor, Dennis Hopper, Maureen O'Sullivan, Chow Yun-Fat, Frank Capra, Joey Ramone, Pete Townshend, Malcolm X, Jimmy Stewart, Fairuza Balk, Morrissey, Sir Laurence Olivier, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Douglas Fairbanks, Sr., Bob Dylan, Tommy Chong, Mike Myers, Ian McKellen, Pam Grier, Stevie Nicks, Peter Cushing, John Wayne, Adam Carolla, Christopher Lee, Vincent Price, Dashiell Hammett, Isadora Duncan, Wild Bill Hickok, Ian Fleming, John F. Kennedy, Bob Hope, G.K. Chesterton, Mel Blanc, Colin Farrell, Brooke Shields, Clint Eastwood, Fred Allen, Walt Whitman, Orson Welles...

Oh, and ME!!!

YAY!!!

It's my BIRTHDAY!!!

Make a wish and BLOW!!!

I've got great B'Day comments over at my Myspace page and wonderful emails! I feel so loved!

Thank you all!

Now, I'm going to go enjoy the fun!

I've thrown my back out again and it's been something awful!

I used to know people I could get painkillers from, but there not around anymore. I need them, too! The painkillers, that is!

I need muscle relaxers, or animal tranquilizers.

It really serious pain. My teeth even hurt cause I must be grinding them in my sleep from all the pain.

My B'Day is tomorrow and Aaron and Steve took me out to do anything I wanted today! So I said, "Let's go see William Friedkin's "Bug!""

Then Aaron decided we'd see, "Pirates of the Caribbean" instead...

It was packed and we sat in the first row and I slept through much of the 4 hour running time. I was actually dreaming stuff about the movie as it was playing.

Then they bought me lunch at Chevy's and I had my Top Shelf Margarita and got drunk!

Good Day!

Later, I watched, "On the Lot" for the first time and say that one of the filmmaking contestants was a director I had interviewed way back at the MethodFest Film Festival!

Check it out!

On the Lot's Sam Friedlander!

My interview with Sam Friedlander!

It's so weird, I know so many people who are on their "periods" right now, at the same time!

I say, "People" because I don't want any of the "girls" to be offended.

It's been a true horror show!

You can't say or do anything right around any of them!

One of my favorite waitresses comes over and sits with me and tells me how much "Flow" she's having as I started to order. People love to open up and tell me private things like this.

So, I start calling her "Flo" like the waitress on the old TV show, "Alice."

And she starts crying.

My friend, the brilliant Mike Carano took this pic of the Star Wars thing at the LA Convention Center!

I didn't go.

Isn't it cute? Mommy and Daddy Stormtroopers with their baby Stormtrooper!

It sucks that it's the 30th Anniversary! It is just one more thing to make me feel old!

Don't forget my Birthday is this Tuesday! The 29th!

I don't know what I'm gonna do? Everyone is asking if I'm having a party. I don't know... It would be silly, I think to set one up for myself...

Then no one shows up to my party...

I would cry.

I'm crying now just thinking about it!

I was thinking of hitting the beach today...

Not much of a beach person. Don't like sand. Don't like stepping on rushy needles and the other medical waste that washes up on the shores these days.

I like walking on the pier!

Love being on the pier on Ventura Beach at about 3am, all dark, every star in the Black sky shining and the rushing sound of the surf slamming into the support beams.

Sweet!

Once, I was there in the dark and found two cute girls kissing! I tried not to watch. We were the only ones around. I imagined they snuck off to be together, maybe their parents wouldn't approve, their school friends made fun of them, they could be like, on the run, killers for kicks...

Maybe they were putting on a show for me?

I got embarrassed, turned to walk away, not to stare, after all it had already been 20 minutes of eye popping fun!

I wish I was a hot teen lesbian!

This is one of my favorite songs, Ultra Vivid Scene's "Special One" so I wanted to play it for you!

I love the video of video and Kim Deal is so hot with her smile and I just want to get in her panties, then she takes a drag on that cigarette and it's all over! Her smile is so cute, it's evil.

In case you forgot my video for Kim Deal's band The Amps...

Here's "Breaking the Split Screen Barrier" a video that displays a talent of heartbreaking genius!

There are lots of spirits of Old Hollywood floating around in the hills.

If you are quiet and sensitive you can see them and feel them around. It's like touching cool mist.

I just know the recent fires have stirred up ghosts. They hate change. They hate being disturbed. They hate destruction and construction.

All the ash reminds them of their predicament.

Nothing is as soothing as driving around the mansions of old Hollywood, or going to Hollywood Forever Cemetery and listening to their stories. They want to tell you. They wish they had talked more when they were alive. They wish they had listened more, too.

They have stories to tell you.

I was telling a friend how I was excited to see, "Bug" the movie and he thought the film was about a VW Bug.

Saw a van like this on the road the other day minus the two girls and it was so cherry! I wonder if it would be as fun to have as they look? I mean, the Van. Come on!

Hippies seem so sweet and loving in movies and books and in my thoughts about the 60s, but you know they must have just been dirty, sweaty and stinking homeless people.

I was talking with this same friend about how in "Easy Rider" they just parked and camped wherever they wanted and didn't seem to get hassled by "The Man" much. I said, I bet you couldn't do that now. No campground is gonna let you do it. No park is gonna let you. Think you'd be able to park and sleep on the pavement in a WalMart parking lot? Doubt it.

I'd like to get out and travel more on the road, but I don't think the road wants me.

I'm sure this photograph has caught your attention, it may even anger you, but this is Aria Giovanni sliding out of the tub like wet soap or a beautiful seal.

She's been on this website before, however I wanna make it clear I'm not obsessed with her or even find her sexually attractive. Sure she's gorgeous, that's a given, I know people that know her and they say wonderful things about her. To me, her happy spirit comes across in photographs. She seems full of life. She seems optimistic. Never have I seen her depressed while spreading her legs and showing her lady business.

It was actually very difficult to find a photograph where none of her dirty parts were showing.

I guess why I like her is that she seems so happy with her body! She's not the slimmest girl, or the biggest, there's a hardness and softness about her and in videos her enthusiasm pops out.

I personally hate the way I look.

Always have.

Wish I liked myself more, at least a little...

I'm drawn to people who just don't care how they look. They're not afraid of being completely nude. They don't care if they're bald, dressed bad, look silly, act a fool, that kind of confidence is so cool!

...Like Jack Nicholson-cool, that's what I want!

It's been crazy these last few days, and nothing makes me happier than to hear about aliens and UFOs!

Strangely, it calms me down.

Some of you may have heard this terrifying story of young girls camping in a tent at Shaver Lake and being abducted and sexually molested by aliens, but I needed to get this on as a podcast.

Even though I started taking letters and e-mail's years ago from girls who have strange stories to tell, I've really had no outlet but from a few radio stations, so here you are, about to hear more stories of the bizarre from the beyond!

 Subscribe Area 69 in a reader

Ate with some friends, a friend lost her head, played some games, then went to bed.

Beverly Hills, hangover pills, Hawaiian gifts, and Old Hollywood stills.

Podcast feed, a real good read, paparazzis shooting Tara Ried.

Day was full, day was fun, hardly a lull out in the sun.

I completely fagged out today and instead of doing all the work I was suppose to do, I watched Gary Numan and relived my youth, such as it was...

"Down in the Park" is one of those songs I played over and over while reading Philip K. Dick and books like these.

I been hearing from people from my past these last few weeks. Strange. I'll be thinking of someone and in a few days I'll get an email from them.

Sad, too.

Been thinking how my life would have been if I took a different path, stayed closer to those I left behind and such things that get me nowhere but depressed.

Cannes is going on and some friends there have seen Anton Corbijn's film about Joy Division and Ian Curtis who committed suicide 27 years ago,"Control" stars Sam Riley as Curtis and Samantha Morton as his wife.

I've been waiting to see this film for awhile now!

Now that's what I call a great poster!

Wasn't at all in the mood to see, "28 Weeks Later" but a friend forced me to go. He really did! Even drove over to pick me up like a date an all. I even got flowers! He even tried to bang me later.

I ain't that easy!

I'd had a horrible day. Things just didn't go right for me and I wanted to hide in the dark and cry.

Anyway...

I wanted to see it, just not at the time.

But I'm so glad he dragged there, I think this movie ROCKS!

The music!

The Horror!

The Cast!

There were moments of real horror for me and the best thing about it, was those moment took place in the daylight. The only other film I can think that I really got scared watching and the scenes were in daylight was, "Picnic at Hanging Rock" when I was a little kid.

Well, I guess "Jaws," also.

I hope you understand what I mean, it's that so many horror films place their scary moments in the dark. I imagine it must be hard to make a truly scary thing happen in the light of day.

I've thought about this movie a lot after I watched it. Now, I'm going with another friend to see it!

It won't make "Spider-Man" money. When I saw it, there may have been 20 people in the theatre, but it's by far the best film I've seen in a long time.

ESP Orgy, Groovy Horror, Radio, Nazis, Sex...

I now announce my 1st Podcast and my return to Live365 and Talk Radio with "Books that Kill" featuring an interview with Curt from The Groovy Age of Horror!

Subscribe in a reader

Or just listen to the mp3!

In this episode I talk to Curt about Groovy Age of Horror, how many books he's accumulated, cover art, what movies are Groovy, Fummetti, what Italians do that is unique to them, Groschenromane, Germans Pulps, Nazis, Rats, writing a novel online, and whether he recommends doing that for other writers and if any of the comments he gets affected the writing of his story...

And More!

Please listen to this show and let me know what you think!

While pondering how I was going to stay grounded with my ever increasing fame and wealth, I was going through some old boxes of books to put on my ebay store when I came across one of my favorite books from when I was a teen, "The Film Director as Superstar" by Joseph Gelmis was so important in shaping my life.

The book has interviews with film directors pretty early in their careers, Stanley Kubrick, Arthur Penn, Mike Nichols, Francis Ford Coppola, Roman Polanski and others.

One hilarious part of the book that makes it of its time is an interview with Roger Corman where he is talking about the latest emerging technology called pay television and how it will never fly because no one in their right mind will pay for something they can get for free.

The book is very inspiring and came at a time when I lived on a farm, went to a small school where not a single student had any of the same interests that I had, the TV only received two channels and radio only had five stations of country and a gospel music.

It's funny to think now what a treasure it was to read and reread about these directors and get their thoughts in their own words. There were no film magazines then that I could get in my area. It was a 50 mile drive to any cinema that might show one of the more mainstream art films. And it's quite possible, that I knew about these directors before I had seen any of their films.

Kids these days, got a thousand channels, the Internet and if they want to read about their favorite film directors, there are a wealth of interviews on sites such as the Daily GreenCine that will influence tomorrows filmmakers just as this book did for me.

Most directors now have their own myspace page. Even dead film makers have their myspace pages!

One of my favorite photographers is Jerry Schatzberg, who is a great filmmaker in his own right with such films as, "The Panic in Needle Park" and "Scarecrow." Whenever I'm in a down mood and want to get nostalgic about a time, place and scene I never lived, I go to his work. He took the above photograph of Roman Polanski this month on year I was born. It is absolutely my choice for the best photograph of Polanski. When I was younger, I always wanted to have a copy to hang on the wall above my writing desk.

Polanski did some amazing work and helped shape the best in cinema of the '60s and '70s in my mind and I have to admit I was giddy with excitement when I saw him on screen in the trailer for "Rush Hour 3."

So now I have to see, "Rush Hour 3," and that means I have to rent, "Rush Hour 1 and 2," so I won't be lost and confused.

This is the 1st sample of me voicing KFRR 104.1 The Valley's New Rock Alternative!

It's Brand Spanking New!

Don't I sound HOT?

Today is my Mom's B'Day! I wish she was still alive so I could tell her I love her and then give her a spankin'!

I know you are Mother-ed Out from Yesterday, but I still have some thoughts:

I wish I had a scan of some pictures of my mom, cause I think she was beautiful!

When I was in the 2nd Grade she and I lived alone together due to some kinda Witness Relocation Program and one night while I was sleeping, I came to because the bathroom light was in my eyes and I saw my mom getting ready for bed. She was nude from the waist up and had the nicest breasts I had ever seen.

She wasn't Asian and she wasn't jumping around in a bikini, but I'll use this image as a reference for you to visualize what those breasts might have looked like to a small boy.

She told me years later she never breast fed me. I didn't take it badly. She said some children do. She told me about a time when I had a Nanny and she came home from a business meeting and found the Nanny breastfeeding me. She said she became very upset. Later I found out that my Nanny was a man.

Just kidding. My Nanny was Black. So that's why I'm so Chocolate!

I always thought it was special that my Mom was born in May and so was I. She's a Taurus and I'm a Gemini, but I don't believe in Astrology too much. Yet, according to leading World scientists, people born in May are Awesome!

Remember my BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP! The 29th of this month, so hurry! Get me something!

My remote was buried under my laundry and I couldn't change the channel, it's not because I'm too fat and lazy to walk over to it, it's one of those sets that has to have the remote, I think. Anyway, I had to listen to Glenn Beck on CNN do his thing on Michael Moore regarding "Sicko" and taking sick 9/11 workers to Cuba to get medical treatment. Beck must have said "Fat" or things to that affect a hundred times in his monologue. I guess that's as far as his research went on Moore.

When my mother died from cancer, I actually was relieved to see her pain from chemotherapy end. It was long and painful. Anyone who has lost a loved one to illness wonders why isn't there a cure yet? You're telling me that with all our technology, we're not finding cures like they did in the early part of the 20th Century? Have you seen a cure for any illness or disease in your lifetime? Is there any hope in finding a cure for diseases? Why would the drug companies want to cure an illness when there is no money in it? If we find cures for illnesses then the big pharmaceutical companies that create drugs to ease our pain and help deal with the disease would go bankrupt. Finding cures for disease would greatly hurt our economy by eliminating the need for the multi billion dollar drug industry.

I wish "Fat" was as offensive as racial slurs so I could get a group together and get Glenn Beck fired like Imus and the numerous others.

Ever notice how many pharmaceutical companies advertise on the News? Think Michael Moore and "Sicko" will get fair and balanced coverage?

Happy Mother's Day!

For those of us who may have lost our mothers, and wish we could have just one more day, please go do something fun and sweet with yours!

Take her to the movies! Tell her you're going to see that Jane Fonda film, but tell her it's sold out and take her to see, "28 Weeks Later" instead.

It is hard to argue with that fact that people love boobies!

They may act like they're above it all, but if I see a couple of bouncy and floppy titties in a tight T-shirt I'm just as likely to give them a stare as I would a soccer ball rolling out from between parked cars in to traffic.

It's all about safety, really. Just being conscious of my surroundings in case I have to file a police report and describe the breasts to a sketch artist.

One thing that I can't stand, is when a girl wears a T-shirt with some cool logo or covered in witty text and she gives me the rolling eyes and a huff as if I were staring at her breasts when I was plainly reading her T-shirt.

Why have anything written on your T-shirt if you don't people to read it? Put it in braille and see if you have any troubles!

Actually I'm not that crazy about breasts. I'm more of a vagina man myself. Big floppy Va Jay Jays! The bigger, sloppier, looser, the better! I like 'em after a few puppies have been squeezed out, too!

Okay that's enough!

That's just me being shocking, can't help it. It's a mental condition.

I was taking a friend and a friend of hers that was visiting to LAX and we started talking about Alec Baldwin. Her friend said something about him being an asshole, so I had to top it with reference to the answering machine recording that is so ubiquitously played in the media and whether Kim Bassinger released it to the press.

I tried to make the joke by not laying blame on Kim or Alec, so I said, "I don't think Kim or her lawyers leaked that recording to the press. I think it was their daughter, as I hear she's a little cunt."

Realize that this is a joke. It's about blaming the victim. It's about taking it in an unexpected direction.

As soon as I said the C word it was as if I crash a plane into a skyscraper inside the car. Clearly some women have more difficulty with that word that I do. If I use it, I'm a creep, but if Colin Farrell uses it, as he does in every other sentence, it's quaint.

I think my friend was shocked and embarrassed because this was the first time I had met her friend and I'm sure she was hoping for me to make a good first impression. It could have only been worse if I had said, "nappy headed cunt."

I have another friend who loves telling me stories about hackers who break codes for music files and DVDs. He says something like, "How can you make it illegal to post, print, make it T-shirts out of a series of numbers, which is what everything is when it becomes digital?"

Yet he'd be the first person to take me to task for using an inappropriate word. Isn't dirty words just letters of the alphabet arranged a certain way, really? Why do we put so much power into it?

Still, I felt bad.

If I had said it on my radio show I would've been fired.

We're living in interesting times in America. Soon, implanted chips will record our innermost inappropriate thoughts and secrets.

I believe these chips will be implanted in us without our knowledge. I believe these chips will be hidden in food we consume. I believe my belly is filled with chips as I speak. I just ate an entire can of Pringles potato chips.

I did this while watching the remake of, "The Omen." I had never seen it before, but I enjoyed it because it was filled with actors I really like. And nothing is more enjoyable than seeing a bunch of my favorite English actors getting killed in unique and unusual ways.

I think I would very much enjoy a "Final Destination" film directed by Kenneth Branagh or say a Richard Curtis. Who wouldn't enjoy a scene with Dame Judy Dench exploding like a Ziploc bag filled with Prego spaghetti sauce being hit full on by a semi truck hauling a load of timber? Isn't it about time to see Hugh Grant decapitated? How about Colin Firth being atomized by a jet engine?

I could go on.

I never thought I would do it, but I watched, "United 93" after all this time. The film is very well made, tasteful I guess, but really why does it have to be based on the real thing? Nobody really knows what happened on the plane, so why not just make it like one of those Airport movies?

I was moved. I was angry. I was sad.

So I change the channel and watched Charlie Sheen in "Hot Shots."

"Is this movie in 3D?"

"No, but your face is!"

AWESOME!

Living the Life of the Mind can be trouble...

For 3 days in a row, I have not left the safety of the house (other than when Fire Alarms forced all of us to evacuate, and by evacuate, I mean, evacuate my bowels... The alarms were VERY LOUD) and I waited until the last moments of the day to shower. I walked around in my panties (or as I say, Manties) and didn't dress for the whole day.

I had a spray bottle filled with water, lavender and eucalyptus oil that I carried around with me misting myself every couple of minutes. I don't know why, really, but it felt nice in this heat. I smelled like poopuri.

At one point in the day I ran around like a crazy retard spraying the water into the air around and above me while yelling, "Look Momma, I'm runnin' in the rain!"

And.

"Catch me Momma! Catch me!"

Still, something magical was at work in my world. The light was beautifully diffused by the smoke from the fires and the aroma of skunks that had run for their lives from the flames only to be hit by cars on the road permeated the air. I know it may be odd, but I actually like the smell of skunk at a distance. I know they use that scent in some perfumes. It all makes me feel closer to Nature.

My Family in Missouri and Kansas are dealing with Tornadoes and Flooding and it's all so horrible. Isn't any place safe?

Even the terrain of my thoughts seem treacherous.

Yes, This may be disturbing to look at, but this is me doing a make up test for a character I'm thinking of portraying in a film I'm working on in my head.

I've always wondered what the Igor character did after his day's work for the Evil Scientist.

How did he get that way? When he goes home, does he drive or take the bus? Is there a lil' woman waiting for him at home?

My idea isn't really a comedy, but there is some funny stuff in all the pathos. Think Slingblade meets Renfield!

I've been goofing around with make up ever since I was a kid reading about the Master, Dick Smith. I use to get his books and kits and wanted so badly to take his class. There are so many Make Up Schools out here and they all are so expensive!

I love these two! Courtney and Max take lessons out of Dick Smith's booklet called Do-It-Yourself Monster Make-Up, and try them out for you.

Let me know if this is a good look.

I love The 5th of May, or as many of my Mexican friends call it, Free Comicbook Day!

I didn't go get a comic book, but I got my drunk on at a Mexican place as you may be able to tell by this picture.

Did go see, "Spider-Man 3" or like the kids say, "SM 3" and I was so drunk I snoozed through quite a bit of the many Peter Parker crying scenes.

In fact, I was so wasted, that I'm posting this 3 days later!

It's been so hot here!

Waking up all sweaty is not something I enjoy. Been doing voice work and after I take off my headphones, the ear pieces are full of water. Gross!

Very excited about my up coming Acting Workshops, because I've received some software that will change the way I make my films. Can't wait to get going on the steep learning curve this new software will provide.

I dunno... Do I want to be working with actors in this heat? Sweating over a hot computer? Shooting scenes with the lens getting all fogged up?

Okay, Go ahead, Sign up! It's FREE anyway!

It's a fact, Cats are insane!

It's been stated by science and you can't argue with that!

THIS cat is Satanic!

Been living with some cats lately, and even though I'm HIGHLY allergic to them, it has been entertaining! I've been studying and reading up on cats and learning how to care for them. If your cat has drowned, here's what you have to do!


Fire Alarms went off at an eardrum piercing volume and we had to evacuate, I couldn't wrangle all three cats!

I didn't know what to do?

I had one in its carrying cage, but the other two hide in fear of their lives. I tried and tried!

If the elevators failed and the stairs were filled with choking smoke and all the floors below were consumed by flames, Do I want these babies stuck in their cages with me dead, or jumping to my death?

No. I think they should fend for themselves!

Or, I hold them close to my body and use them to cushion my fall as I jump to my death...

Director Curtis Harrington has died of undisclosed causes at age 78. I just watched "Queen of Blood" two nights ago and was listening to a story about Harrington going to see Kubrick's "Fear and Desire" and discovering Kubrick crying in the seat behind him.

Nice Filmmaker Magazine article.

Good stuff from the past there!

Too many deaths of people I really liked lately! This was so sad to hear.

Now I'm concerned about the safety of his home. I don't remember exactly where it was, maybe Tim Lucas can share if it was located anywhere near the fires we're dealing with here in Griffith Park and old Hollywood.

Wildfire burns in middle of Los Angeles; See the flames over Griffith Observatory where James Dean and the cast of Rebel Without a Cause helped make it an icon.

It just had its reopening, too!

I read once about how Roger Corman took advantage of a Griffith Park fire and filmed Edgar Allen Poe's, "The Fall of the House of Usher" with Vincent Price after he heard that a house was on fire, took a film crew to document it, and used the footage for the climatic burning of the Usher mansion.The exterior shots of Philip approaching the mansion through the dead land surrounding it, Corman filmed those scenes in burned-out sections of forest in the Hollywood Hills.

Oddly strange that, Curtis Harrington's last directorial credit was his version of "USHER."

This is pretty cool!

Monty Python meets Star Wars!

Sweet!

As a kid, I had the biggest crush on Barbara Steele!

I had detailed fantasies about finding a coffin in the woods behind my house with Steele in it waiting for me to awaken her with a kiss. Even though she'd be dead, I knew we'd get along.

She would help me with my homework, at night I'd let her crawl into bed with me and I'd help her by letting her feed on the bullies I had to deal with at school.

She would be my living dead girl!

Checkout TOTAL SKULL!

I love Rob and Sheri Moon Zombie! I think they are cool and talented!

With my B'Day coming up, I thought I'd throw that out there to give you some help getting me sumptin'.

Those two are like Mario Bava being married to Barbara Steele!

And speaking of Bava, here's the one BIG gift I need!

Mario Bava: All the Colors of the Dark by Tim Lucas

It'd be the perfect B'Day gift because July 30 is Mario Bava's birthday. But remember mine is May 29th, THIS month, HURRY!

Tim and Donna Lucas have worked YEARS on this book and it's gonna be heavy. Heavy like Castle's Stanley Kubrick book that I threw my back out reading. I just know having the Bava book will make my life better! I'll be a better filmmaker and a better film goer. And just from carrying the book around, my abs will be rock hard like those guys in "300" or the guys in, "Hercules in the Haunted World."

In more cool News, be looking for my Podcasts, Streaming Radio Show, DVDs, CDs and more goodies to be showing up here soon! I'm setting up interviews now with some totally awesome filmmakers, writers, and UFO Abductees! If you know anyone I should talk to on my shows, let me know!

Watched the Marlon Brando two-part tribute doc that Turner Classic Movies played and really enjoyed it, but it made me sad seeing him age.

So I thought I'd cheer myself up with this scene from the Twilight Zone episode "The Bard." Here Burt Reynolds has Brando down, almost.

Almost as good as Chris Elliot on Letterman!

But here's Brando, the man!

Never have I watched one of these tributes and wanted to get all the movies and watch the subject's entire body of work as much as I did after seeing this TCM film. I guess there's no reason to be sad about seeing him swell up and get old and die, when I can always see him as Sky Masterson, Marc Antony, Terry Malloy, or Stanley Kowalski, anytime I want.

I love Monorails!

Ever since I was in Kindergarden and my older brother Darcy showed me a prospectus to company stock he bought for a firm that planned to build Monorails across America, I've dreamed of a Future World where there were Monorails and Jetpacks.

He was in Junior High and they taught kids how to make money in the Stock Market! My school had NRA gun classes! I can't even balance a checkbook, but if I ever go postal and lose it... Well, I'm prepared!

When I lived in Apopka, Florida and doing time at Disney World in Orlando, I would just stand and stare at the Monorails.

My favorite magazine, Make has a cool party coming up where we can see the "Puppy Mover Monorail." It's a working model train composed of five wooden cars, totaling 10'-6" long, and a powerful motorized drive train in the locomotive. The monorail beamway track is made from wood 2x4s.

The Maker Faire is May 19 & 20 at the San Mateo Fairgrounds.

But I might go see Henry Rollins, Thora Birch, Bijou Phillips and the Suicide Girls at the Fangoria Weekend of Horrors convention in Burbank, instead.

Oh, I forgot to tell you... This is May and this is the month I was born, so REMEMBER the 29th is my B'Day and if you want to get me something, start now! While you're thinking of something good to buy me, but maybe feel you haven't got the time to shop, you could just click the Make a Donation button on the left of this page! Do it now, Why wait?

That would be so Groovy of you!

Well, Here's the Breaking News I wanted to tell all my friends in Fresno...

As soon to be posted at All Access and just posted by the Wonderful Group at The Voice in Your Head:

Jerry Lentz is now the voice of 104.1 The Valley's New Rock Alternative! "This dude is our new voice guy, he rules!" Said Wilks Alternative KFRR/Fresno PD Jason Squires.

This is pretty exciting for me as I did Mornings across town at another station, but now in Fresno, or online you can hear me 24 hours a day!