Shuttle astronaut blows his brains out with a shotgun after an argument with a chick!

Read the sad News here!

Imagine being a dude that gets to go into Space, then you kill yourself over a woman???

Kirk would never do that!

Unless...

The ship and crew was in danger and there were no alternatives and it was no-win situations...

As I've mentioned here before, my show for HGTV or possibly DIY Network called, "Built with Jerry Lentz" where I get hot looking girls with little in the way of craft skills to build complex projects wearing very little in the way of clothing and safety gear, is getting a lot of attention!

It's like, "Monster Garage" meets "The Vagina Monologues" but with me as Host!

I've received many photo of girls wanting to be contestants in the show. I'm hoping to use the show for evil means; I want to get things built for my house for free!

Friends of friends have shows on both networks and they are doing well, I hope they let my production ride in on their coat-tails. I know the show with be funny and cool!

There are so many girls in this town working their way through life, or paying for college, operating powertools! Many of these girls are very comfortable working machines. Several of the girls I've talked to said they prefer their machines to men.

This show will ROCK!

My work in a career that spanned more than half of my life has come to an end as I believe I have been replaced by Robots!

Yodeling Robots!

A friend I used to work with has moved to Los Angeles, so we spent a few hours visiting and driving all over Hollywood. We talked for hours about how happy we are to no longer be working for the horrible people we worked with.

Sitting in Mel's Drive-In near Hollywood in Highland she said to me, "I think you're in a better place now, if you ever want to get back into radio and have a show, you can do it on your own terms. You can be this successful acting teacher who just happens to have a radio show and that's better than being the radio personality that has an acting workshop."

There was a blur of activity all around us, but I focused on her statement and replayed it over and over again like a loop in my head. Without getting all "Oprah" on your asses, I believe sometimes the Universe sends you messages through the things people say. Just as I believe, people sometimes say things to you that they need to hear themselves say, for themselves.

I reluctantly went to see "Clerks 2" because I didn't want to spend the money that I would've paid to either rent the DVD when it comes out or see it on Comedy Central when it airs, however since someone else paid for it, I climbed aboard.

There's a moment near the end of the film where Randall says something to the effect, "... maybe this is what we were meant to do... I look back on the years of doing the job as some of the best years of my life..." and I know what he's talking about.

Sometimes your job can completely suck and sometimes it's the job that is okay, but your co-workers that suck. Then there are those rare times when the cosmos has compiled co-workers that all click with what you are about.

There are several people I know who now have important positions in large corporations, yet they get a little misty wishing they could just go back to working at the coffee shop, the record store, the print shop, the pet store, or the video store with the huge adult section. These people make big money now and with that they are expected to perform for what they are paid and with that responsibility comes stress and many of them fantasize about being one of the minimum wage warm bodies that rarely take their jobs home with them.

I saw Morgan Spurlock from the film "Super-size Me" on TV, okay okay, it was on Oprah, but it was in reference to an episode of his TV show about living on the minimum wage. It made me concerned that this country truly is in a depression. Millions of people are living below the poverty level and are still working full-time jobs because the minimum wage is so low. I want to tell you, that after that episode I was so deeply depressed.

In talking with a sympathetic friend about it, he said, "Dude? What the fuck are you doing watching Oprah?"

I knew he would understand.

Here's my Workshop advertisement that is being seen and displayed elsewhere.

Thought maybe I should finally post it here. I do it reluctantly. But here you go!

The weather and temperatures was pretty good today and the theatre was nice to be in. I sat on the edge of the stage and imagined how I could fill it. I looked out at the forty empty seats and wondered what could I create that would be compelling enough to get people to watch and later think about what they had experienced.

I thought about all the people that had performed on that stage for all those many years. I wondered if any of the dead actors ever came back as ghosts to watch, or maybe repeat a performance. Just as I thought that a bulb behind me popped really loud and the light went out.

I have to admit, I almost farted. It truly scared me!

We are repelled by scary things and attracted to them as well. Maybe this was somehow the answer.

I came home still thinking about ghosts knowing that where I am living was once an old hotel back in the 50's. Who knows how many people died here, maybe even in the room I'm living.

Already the neighbors have warned me about the occult activities of the former tenant, so I got to deal with those thoughts.

In the kitchen there is a big white plastic bag that I've been putting trash into and it's strap is hooked up onto the knob of a cabinet door. It's pretty full and is ready to be carried out to the dumpster on my next trip out.

I walked into the room, it was still dark and the florescent light in the kitchen was strobing, trying to come on even after several seconds after the switch was flicked. Suddenly the strap tore free and the bag rolled across the floor. However, in the dim flickering light, it looked like a man crouched down on the floor about to jump me.

I may have even screamed when it moved.

It's funny what the mind comes up with when it first can't explain what is happening.

I took a shower and headed over to see a couple of friends and watch, "3 Extremes" by Miike Takashi and Park Chan-wook doing a Twilight Zone-like mini-feature. We only watched "Dumplings," from Hong Kong's Fruit Chan, directing the smoking hot Bai Ling as she makes dumplings that restore youth to her customers while she also runs an abortion clinic in her apartment.

Tony Leung and everyone looks so cool in Christopher Doyle's photography.

I watched, "Finale in Blood" by Fruit Chan about a year ago because a friend said I should see it. It has a ghost contacting a radio DJ and he tells her story on the air to get the guy that killed her, but the killer hears it as well. It's nowhere as cool as "Dumplings." But I still liked it.

I came back home and popped in the DVD of Craig Baldwin's, "Sonic Outlaws" a grainy look at Oakland's Negativland, who were sued by Island Records for releasing an album titled "U2."

Baldwin explores the whole world of copyright infringement, fair use and sampling and it's history in the Dada and Cubist movements and Andy Warhol, to cellphone scanners and billboard bandits.

Very entertaining and exciting stuff!

One of the members of Negativland talks about the effect of splicing together two different sounds, or images that have nothing to do with one another and how the mind desperately tries to link them together to make some sort of sense.

I believe that's what happens when we see a trash bag falling over in dim light for no reason, we think it must be a robber, a monster, or a ghost. Our minds need a reason to explain the unexplained, like watching a David Lynch film, is he really the great artist for his work, or are we, for imagining what we think it means?

I need a makeover!

It's been so hot that all I want to wear is the big floppy gray t-shirts I wear all the time anyway. Something about the color to me, is like a blank canvas waiting for some art to happen. I also think it is like a flag absent of color, yet not a flag of surrender. I hate wearing clothes that display brands, or say things.

I am the message!

Steve Jobs has this myth or rather legend about his consumption of only fruit. It works for him, making him a genius, all rich and stuff, but for me I just breakout in pimples because of the acidity and I pee a lot.

I hope I get successful soon. I hope more money comes my way through the work I'm doing with the Acting Workshop and films, cause I got things I need to do:

I need to get cosmetic surgery. I want the size of my head reduced. I want the hair all over my body except my eyebrows lazered off. I just want my eyebrows waxed into a pleasing shape. I want to get my skin bleached so I can be Whiter. I want washboard abs and a washer and dryer. I want a personal chef. I want health care. I want an electric car. I want a girlfriend. I want to know the truth about UFOs.

Talked with Ed Begley, Jr. about electric cars and how his work in the new movie, "Who Killed the Electric Car?" has inspired me to purchase the new Tesla electric car as soon as I get $100,000 to spare!

We talked about Acting and if he was interested in teaching some classes. He said he was very interested, so maybe we'll have his knowledge and skills in the Workshop!

Sadly, I finished the book by David Thomson, "The Whole Equation" that I have been reading very slowly because I was enjoying it so much. I'm ready to reread it!

Several people who have seen me hauling it around are now looking at picking it up and reading it. I believe nothing is sexier for a dude like me than carry around a stack of books.

Chicks dig a guy who is a "reader."

That is one sexy man, and Topher Grace is pretty too!

It cooled down into the low triple digits and the theatre was filled with eager minds wanting to create a performance in a film.

They looked to me to guide them. Ideas and content was being generated. Shooting images, dialogue and audio was being burned through quickly. We were hot and sweaty.

It's fun having someone famous and very talented stop by and inspire the students! I hope more are willing to offer their time.

A girl called me the "Grunge Alternative James Lipton" and everyone laughed. They laughed way too long. I'm cutting the number of her close-ups out of the film!

The students need to know who's the Boss!

So many of the people showing up for my Workshop are way more experienced than I am. Big movies! Big TV Shows! Big Money! Big Breasts! I feel so humbled that they believe what I'm doing is important and worth the time.

An old friend who has directed several movies dropped by without calling ahead of time, I believe he was trying to catch me off guard. He heard about the Workshop from another friend. We sat in the parking lot and watched the sun go down. He asked to take the Workshop.

I told him, "Let me do some Workshops for a while before you come in, because I'd be scared you'd make fun of me."

I really believe he would, too!

About Ten years ago we were at Boardner's in Hollywood drinking. Me Cosmos, him something harder. He was very drunk and tearing into me about my love of Stanley Kubrick. He picked apart Kubrick's films.

Like I'm going to have a guy that thinks this way smirking at me from the back row of my class! That's asking for trouble even if he isn't drunk. He'll read this now and will he feel bad? No. He'll pick up the argument where he left off.

Not that I want everyone to shut up and agree with me and do what I say...

Wait, Yes I do!

I took the photograph of this flower in the courtyard outside of my place. See? I don't just photographed nude girls!

I really wish I had some land of my own so I could start a garden. I really want to get back to nature, I believe it makes me feel better to notice plants and trees.

Old English gentleman who tend their gardens know something we don't.

I watched the DVD of "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" from 1939 with Basil Rathbone as he goes head to head against his archenemy, Professor Moriarty, who when he isn't tending his own English garden is planning to steal the Star of Delhi gem from the Crown Jewels.

To distract Sherlock, Moriarty starts sending anonymous threatening messages to one of my favorite actresses Ida Lupino, who looks so hot in this film.

Moriarty is such a great character! Everyone else believes he's a good man, but time and time again Holmes proves the Professor's vast intellect controls a network of crime.

He's one of those evil guys you can admire, not like say, Hitler.

The History Channel is showing, "UFO Files" and this one is about a group of scientists Hitler has building UFOs and flying saucers. It's great stuff with actual photographs.

Those Germans were so smart and organized. How did they lose?

Why is it, that every great thing, like the pyramids, were built by slaves? I'm sure many Jews were worked to death to build these Nazi flying saucers, if not used as the fuel source to power of them like some Hebrew Dilithium crystals.

In an old Ray Bradbury story, train engineers traveling near the Pyramids would stop and cracked open some sarcophaguses and steal mummies to toss into the furnaces because they burned hotter than coal.

Why does it seem that it takes evil to do good things? Is it simply no one wants to do their own work? And no one wants to pay? No one wants to take the time, they want instant results. Gardening takes time. They complained and fight about illegal immigration, but they don't want to pay their Gardener what they should.

Professor Moriarty knew that one must cut wood before he's cold. Quality work takes time. He wasn't into carjacking or the quick thrill at the ATM, he was slow and methodical and that made him imperceptible. Some people were completely unaware a crime had taken place, he was so good.

I saw the film, "The Hours" the other day and and completely enjoyed it. Ed Harris, who is to me an amazing actor, plays a writer who spent 10 years on one novel so complex few people enjoyed it or even finished it.

Someday I will finish my novel, but I am too busy watching a documentaries about Nazi UFOs.

Also, it's too hot to write!

I should be teaching my Workshop, but the heat drains all the enthusiasm from me.

Today I was recognized from photos of me on this page! I was approached by a man and his wife who were looking for acting classes for their daughter and they had found this page in a search. I was standing in line at Ralph's getting my weekly supply of Kraft American Cheese when he asked if I was who I was...

It was kind of cool!

We talked for a while, as the line was slow and we learned a lot about each other. I think they are signing up for the Workshop! I just hope it cools down soon, but I was listening to the news on KFI and it sounds like triple digits for the next two weeks.

I was so depressed about the news of more heat, that I got online and searched for cool temperatures around the globe. Just knowing there was some place in the world that was cool made me feel better. I went to check ticket prices to see if I can afford to fly there for the next three or four weeks, but what is there really to do in Antarctica?

A truly beautiful girl who was looking for her friend, the woman that used to live where I'm living now, knocked at my door.

A wave of heat hit me as I opened the door. She had big Black sunglasses on. She slid them up over her forehead onto her Black hair. Her Red shirt was tight on her thin body. It was hot, so I asked her in.

It was difficult getting through the door as my huge couch fills all available cubic space and oxygen. She falls back on the couch by accident.

"Please sit."

"As I said, I'm looking for Denise. We were roommates a few years ago and as I was moving out, I found something of hers and wanted to give it back."

I told her I didn't know Denise, or even how to reach her. This made her sad and she put her small face in her hands and began to cry.

This kind of freaked me out.

I didn't know what to do, so I put my hand on her back to pat her and found her to be burning up with heat. She was even wet with persperation on her spine.

I caught a glimmer of light that was a bead of sweat running down from under the hem of her shirt to the cleavage of her buttocks and under the thin strap of elastic of her Red thong.

I was embarrassed to be staring so long.

"Would you like a drink to cool down?" I said.

"Honestly, I quit drinking a week ago."

"I meant water..."

"That would be nice."

I climbed over my couch and made my way to the kitchen to get a bottle of Arrowhead out of the fridge. I heard her jewelry jangling as she was climbing over the couch.

"Your couch is too big for this place!" She yelled to me.

I heard her hit the floor as she must have fallen over the back of the couch. A bracelet ring rolled into the kitchen and hit my ankle. I grabbed it just as her hand picked it up.

"May I use your restroom? I've been in the car all day driving."

"Sure."

Back over the couch I found she left her purse, a bag and cellphone. She really trusted me.

I heard water running.

She's taking a shower? This chick is Weird City!

I sat there wondering if she is a Satanist like my neighbors said the woman that lived in my space was? Satanists have the better looking women. Wicca chicks predominately are heavier and sometime a bit man-ish.

A neighbor who is Wiccan offered to do some kind of cleansing spell on my place to rid the Evil the former tenant left behind. This Wiccan neighbor, though very nice, is a big big girl.

"I hope you don't mind, I took a quick shower?"

"Oh no... That's..."

She stood in the doorway to the bathroom pulling on her tight Red shirt with one hand while covering her "Lady Business" with the other hand. She was still wet and the shirt did cling to her body.

"You're not upset that I'm nude are you?"

She walked past me to the couch. She wasn't wearing panties. As she climbed over, I saw her look back at me to see if I was looking at her ass and stuff.

I was. Especially her stuff.

"Wanna see what I wanted to give back to Denise? It was hers. She showed me how to use it when we lived together. We lost it and then I found it under the dresser when I was moving. I'll show you how I use it."

She unzipped her bag. Her bare legs were folded under her. She flung her thick Black hair back and looked at me sideways.

"Are you scared, or something?" She rooted around in her bag and whatever it was in her hand, it came alive! It began buzzing frighteningly loud!

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

It was my cellphone set on vibrate. It was sitting on a plate. I woke up. I was pissed!

My dreams are so real and detailed... So much better than real life! Why can't my life be like my dreams?

I feel for all the actors that had to dress up in costume for Comicon this weekend!

I used to work at Disney World in Florida as a kid and I would see the how the heat drained the enthusiasm out of the performers who dressed in hot, furry and heavy costumes.

If it's over 65 degrees, I am not into reading a comic book.

Klingons begin to melt at 85 Degrees.

Talked with an old friend today who I use to work with at a radio station. I hadn't spoke with her for some time and it seems she has left the industry for much better things.

She's so happy!

It was fun talking because there wasn't that stress in her voice that I use to hear and probably had myself.

We worked at a horrible station! Horrible people! A radio station of losers!

We broke free. We're Winners! Well, I was forced out, but she left on her own accord.

Still, we're Winners!

Talking with her about the offers to do more radio I've had lately and hearing myself tell her how happy I am, I know I don't want to get back into it. She's making more money and I'm making more.

All the joys I get out of being on the air and performing on the radio, I get from running the Workshop. It really seems to be my calling, my metier, my passion.

I was watching Paul Giamatti on Charlie Rose and he was saying, how he would be performing whether he was successful or not, because he simple dug what he was doing. He didn't think he was all that great, he just loved the feeling he got from it and kept at it because of that feeling.

I knew a guy that started doing stand up comedy because he was a doorman at the Comedy Store and saw comics getting sitcoms. He was really sweet, but I found his work, not at all funny. It was painful to watch. He kept getting stage time. He was there all the time anyway. It was like management believed if they didn't let him do his act, he might quit being the doorman. So he kept doing it.

He has a show on HBO now!

Bastard!

Now he's funny!

Those that keep at it, seem to win.

I like to sleep. Just love to sleep. Someday, I'm gonna be really good at it!

Hate going on about the Heat, but whenever I'm involved with breaking records, I like to toot my horn a bit... We hit 120 Degrees today!!!

Not in recorded history on this date has this temp been reached!

My garage door remote melted in my car. It's made of thick plastic! The same kinda plastic my car is made of. It was horrible!

When it's this hot, I lose all interest in sex and I hate having to turn down sex.

I tried to spend as much time in the A/C doing important mental work. I wrote on a novel that's been kicking around in my head for a while and was very excited to see I had finished it at 879 pages!

However, I discovered I had the font size at 180 point, so there was only part one letter per page. At first, it really seemed like I accomplished a lot, but I'm thinking the heat affected my... Thinking?

My new couch is too big for the room!

Steve stopped by last night to laugh.

The door doesn't open all the way without hitting the edge of the couch.

All access to the kitchen, bathroom, lounge, supply room and other rooms is blocked by the couch. One has to do a Starsky and Hutch and leap over it, but usually I end up doing a Jack Tripper and just flip over it onto the floor behind it.

It's "L" shaped and no position can face the entertainment area. The couch can easily seat 50 guests, but my place safely accommodates only 28.

Girls who have stopped by to feel the suede of the couch all "Oooh and Aaahhh" as their hands glide across it. I wish I was made of suede.

Bronski Beat's "Smalltown Boy" was playing on my system when an offer by a radio group looking to discuss with me an offer of possible morning airtime in a rather large market. "Run away, run away, run away..." was being sang as I listened to their ideas.

It would be sweet, but I'd have to move again...

What am I gonna do about the couch?

I love Aria Giovani, and not just because she can squish up her boobies!

I know some people that have photographed her and they all say she's such an easy going sweetheart. I've had a huge crush on her for some time and hope to meet her tonight at a party I'm going to at the Bigfoot Lodge.

I think she's a great actress and believe she could be anything she wants to be. She portrays nude very well!

If I was an Evil Mastermind, I'd figure out a way to make her fall in love with me. I'm not that smart and I got too much going on in my head to figure these things out.

Right now, I'm watching, "Sherlock Holmes and the Spider Woman" from 1944 starring Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce!

I love Sherlock Holmes stories and really dig the old radio show that Rathbone and Bruce did from Hollywood. You can still hear them online, you should check them out if you can.

This movie looks pretty good with people jumping to their deaths in what the papers call the "pajama suicides," then Holmes meets the alluring Adria played by Gale Sondergaard as the "Spider Woman" who might be the mastermind behind the murders.

I watched the "Ocean 11 and 12" movies and thought they were fun. I didn't see them in the theatre, just didn't seem good to me, but on TV...? Makes you wanna pull off a big crime and look hot.

These kind of movies, whether they're solving or committing crime, make everything seem like life falls into place. The clocks are always ticking. The cars are always clean and waxed. The women are sexy and waxed.

They work hard for a few hours, then relax till the money dries up.

There's this documentary on the Science Channel about a guy who gets a team together to build his own submarine. The show rocks! The subs cool! It's like something you'd see in a Bond film. Huge clear domes to sit in and look out of, real SciFi!

It takes this guy 15 years to complete it and when they do, they are not allowed to take it on it's maiden voyage because of some maritime laws. They designed it and built it and spent millions, but lose the right to drive it.

That wouldn't happen in the movies!

My new couch is arriving after ordering it a month ago. I'm so excited! I've been on the floor all this time. No chairs.

The best part is I did a commercial for the manufacturer and got this as payment! It's like Sound comes out of my throat into the air and congeals into a solid object, The Couch! It's alchemy!

I was listening to some old tapes of Marshall Brickman talking about working with Woody Allen and he said, "We had a meeting at the Studio to pitch the project and I didn't know how to make it happen and Woody sez, "If we ACT like Artists, they'll treat us like ARTISTS.""

Life can be so magical if we look closely. People dumpster dive, find free trash and reshape it, paint it, and sell it as Art and make great money!

I knew a guy that had a collection of magazines, a music journal, every issue going back years and he just went through and copied the info and sold it as his own research. The book still sells to this day and he is hailed as scholar of music.

It's all about seeds.

The seed of an idea, that grows into something solid and fruitful.

I need to grow a money tree!

You'd think with all the skills I used to get a free couch out of thin air, that I could materialize a Million Dollar$?

Thank you! Thank you!

There's nothing like the Applause of a well dressed crowd!

Today several hours were spent on the phone with people interested in attending my Workshop. Many of them have contacted me before, but found excuses for not arriving at the location on time, or even showing up.

Many I know are scared of stepping into the unknown. And that's what it is!

The Unknown.

They don't really know me, or what they are capable of doing under my guidance. They know from talking with me, I am interested in capturing parts of themselves they may find difficult exposing.

No one likes looking at the trouble areas in ourselves. But I believe we can grow when we see those parts of us that we hide from everyone and through playing and improvising, find a path out of our troubles.

We are all of us, mysteries to be solved!

I am creating a space around me that is safe to tear apart the walls and armor of fear, so we can feel that soft underbelly and say, "I trust you and I trust myself."

Think of the films we can make, that heal us and heal those that watch us take that journey through the Human Experience.

I am a man of my word, sometimes it's all we have to hold onto. In these difficult times, we need something solid to believe in.

You can trust me!

I too, am exposing myself to you. Out in the open, no forrest of trees to hide from the ridicule. Empowered we will be!

Trust me.

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible. I try to be flexible, but without years of yoga training, I'd hope my woman would be more flexible than me.

I hope to find a woman, too. There, I've exposed myself!

When I say something, I mean it! If I say, "Take off your panties!" I mean it.

It's just part of the foundation of principals on which I was raised.

Join me as we step into The Unknown and come out the other side whole and better than we were.

Better. Stronger. Faster.

I have the technology!

We are all coming apart slowly and piece by piece.

It's like ashes to ashes stuff. Every time I pull my clothes out of the dryer I see that the lint is the dead skin of my wardrobe. My clothes are falling apart.

This morning my TV was stuck on an infomercial for a portable dermabrasion machine that grinds off dead skin and makes us young again. The remote was out of reach and I was reading about the death of Mickey Spillane.

My friend David was the first to let me know.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Private Joker!

Private Joker:
Sir, yes, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Forty-two twelve, basic military journalism. You gotta be shitting me! You think you're Mickey Spillane? You think you're some kind of fucking writer?

Private Joker:
Sir, I wrote for my high-school newspaper, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Jesus H. Christ, Joker! You're not a writer, you're a killer!

Private Joker:
A killer, yes sir!

Stanley Kubrick loved Spillane.

When I was a kid my mom got all his books. She love him! I remember seeing a picture she had of him signing her book at Woolworths or Ben Franklin 5 and Dime and there being ONLY women in the crowd at the signing. I didn't understand it. Women loved this guy that looked like the P.E. Teacher I hated.

I've read other filmmakers who say they learned to edit their films from reading how Mickey Spillane composed a sentence. Soon he will be decomposing.

Life is just some weird soup that churns. We live, we create, we die, we are worm food, worms die, they become absorbed by a vegetable, that ear of corn is eaten, we are absorbed by the eater, one day he dreams about us not knowing who we are.

We are become lint.

DNA flakes off us in clouds that linger in the air like secondhand cigarette smoke that traces a stairway to the stars. We inhale germs and dreams.

Sometimes when you need to fart, or maybe you're blocked up from too many grilled cheese sandwiches, you need to shake it up to break it up!

It was one of those days where I had that "need to fart" "blocked up feeling" I was uncomfortable, hot and it was soooo muggy. I was caught in a severe thunderstorm that lasted only 3 minutes this morning. I had the windows in my car down. I was drenched. Other people on the street with me were also laughing cause we all were caught off guard and soaked. Then it stopped!

Then it got real hot and suffocating.

Spend the rest of the day building on my new camera equipment in air conditioning. I have been trying to attach wood to rubber and plastic without screws or bolts, so several handy people recommended a very dangerous epoxy that was so good I ended up gluing a pencil to my ear.

Don't ask! It hurt!

My new Acting Workshop Ads have started running and the response is very good for the money I'm spending. Seems no one else is affected by the heat as I am. I don't want to do the classes with the heat as it is, however, these actors have no problem sweating in the triple digits to better their skills.

An actress I dated briefly many years ago just got married this weekend. She use to complain that I never ate at home. I was told she just married a cook. How did she meet him? She was eating out!

You'd think I'd be married to some hot chef with all the years I've put in to supporting the food service industry! You know who I think is a hot chef?

Nigella!

And I love Giada De Laurentiis, granddaughter of legendary film producer Dino De Laurentiis, Giada is the star of her own Food Network show "Everyday Italian."

I would eat at home with that!

I might look like a cannibal, though...

Very happy so many people recognized me in "A Scanner Darkly!"

It's fun being animated! Don't have to wear icky makeup!

I have yet to see the film myself and was wondering if I was even in it as I usually end up on the cutting room floor.

It was 111 Degrees today!!!

I had the air going full blast and at 2PM the power went off and I'm not kidding you, I heard everyone on the block moan. It was like a disturbance in the force. Thankfully the power came back on before the ice in my margarita melted.

Spent the day building props for a film I'm doing with the Workshop. I'm getting pretty handy. I've been collecting tools and even designed a piece of equipment that will enable me to create some mind boggling effects for very little money, however I won't use it for those purposes exactly.

I don't believe there's ever been a thing built like it. It's like a magicians trick, but I've never seen anything like it. I could be wrong. I should have it up and working by next week!

Hung out with some friends and there was a party going on next to us and it turned out not to really be a party, but was just Liz Phair and her friends. She is so beautiful in person! I can't believe I didn't get a photo with her.

Watched my friend Eon McKai's film, "Kill Girl Kill 2" and was very happy to see a girl I've had a huge crush on for a while, Justine Jolie, or sometimes known as Swan. I even wrote a really cool part for her in my "American Girlfriend X" and she didn't even have to have sex with anyone in that film.

I believe she may be one of the most beautiful girl I've ever seen pee.

What is it with people peeing on film? I guess someone out there gets off on it. I just watched, "The Image" the other day and that was from 1976 and the chick pees two or three times in that film!

I used to do this thing where I would pretend to be yawning just to get my dog to yawn. Ever do that? It's fun!

As soon as Justine Jolie squatted and started squirting, I had to go pee, too. It was like hearing the sound of running water. I didn't pause the DVD, so it ran as I wizzed, I get back just as she finishes and now I know Justine Jolie and I have the same size bladder.

Nosferatu, That's who I've become!

With the heat and sun unbearably hot, I've found I am enjoying that night more. Drives through the dark streets. Walks around usually crowded areas, now closed and empty. Late night diners with the other vampires.

I am groggy and blurry in the day and stay in my air-conditioned tomb, sleeping and dreaming. Afraid of the knock at the door. Hunted like an animal by those that call and work in the daytime hours. Despised by those tanned people who love the sun and heat. Demons, them all!

Here, I think of you in your white, smooth, cool silk night gown that clings to your soft flesh like wet paint. My pale hand slides across your virgin skin as a rake over creme.

I am shadow, undetected by your beautiful eyes as I hover over you ever so stealth. I fade into you and sift through your dreams. Influencing and guiding your thoughts to me.

In hushed whispers only your soul hears, "You must now remove your panties!"

And then you do...

I was playing some Syd Barrett's work from his time with Pink Floyd and got incredibly sad.

I remember being very young and hearing the music from his era with the band. When you are the youngest of four brothers, you hear their music and inherit their tastes and albums and clothes.

It was all so emotional for me, because I not only thought about Syd, but about laying on the floor and shuffling through albums that I had packed in wooden tomato crates under the bed and playing them with my headphones on. I had even put my bed up on cement blocks so the records would easily fit underneath.

I remember meeting my first true best friend, Matt at the only place to buy records in that small town, an old bin hidden in a corner of a grocery store. There I found a Monty Python album, one day The Korgis and another day, "Piper at the Gates of Dawn."

Matt told me to buy it, and with money I stole from my mom, I did. It was old and the corners bent, but the disc was smooth and there were no waves as it turned under the needle.

Looking at Syd pictures now, I get very sad. I think he looked so cool when he was younger, then he shaves off all his hair and becomes a recluse... I know someone like that!

I remember when Robyn Hitchcock and I use to hang out and he would tell me these stories about Syd, like how Ridley Scott was going to make a movie about him and how when Syd shaved all his hair off Roger Waters broke down in tears cause he knew Syd was slipping away. I always thought Robyn looked a bit like Syd in the eyes.

Robyn played at a small club in Santa Monica and I hadn't seen him in a while, he had turned gray and I had recently shaved my head, "Who do you think you are Syd Barrett?" he said.

I remember reading and rereading Nicholas Schaffner's, "Saucerful of Secrets: The Pink Floyd Odyssey" and thinking if only I could have known him, I bet I could have helped, I would have been his friend.

I can't even help myself.

Look at Bedazzled! and see the videos Spike has put up, most importantly the interview by Hans Keller and just look and listen at how sweet and beautiful Syd Barrett was and think of that friend or relative you could be closer to and kinder to, who may need help, before their time and yours runs out.

I am awaiting your call...

Ideas hit me sometimes like lightning!

Don't know where they come from?

I think there are little bubbles pregnant with ideas that float around and land on certain people. Some people like me just enjoy them, without acting on them.

Others roll up their sleeves and take action and make something out of them. Many ideas become tools. Some become books, paintings, movies and or political movements.

An idea for a wonderful toy may land on you, but if you don't care for toys your mind goes on to some other interest. Later, you may find yourself looking for a toy as a gift for someone and see that very toy you thought you thought of.

How many times have you proclaimed you were "ripped off" when you see a movie with an idea you had?

Ever see a friend with a hot girl you had noticed before? "Damnit! It was my idea to bang that chick before that guy!"

Still reading the so far fantastic, "The Whole Equation" by David Thompson, and he mentions Edward Hopper after I was just looking at his work before I picked up the book. There is a great chapter about Hopper's "New York Movie" and how we as viewers of this painting wonder what the beautiful usherette is thinking?

Thompson imagines, she is listening to the soundtrack, or maybe something about the film reminds her of her own situation with a lover, or simple she is bored with the film and has her own troubles. Hopper is such a genius, I believe he knows which "story" we SHOULD be interested in, and I doubt it's the movie that's playing.

I also believe, Hopper foresaw a technology and it's annoying use in theaters when the idea occurred to him, and even though this painting is from 1939, she is in fact on a cellphone.

See the scariest film EVER made!

This controversial film has upset many, if you are easily frightened by images of demonic possession and unexplained paranormal activity near and around food, please Do Not Watch this video!

You are not strong enough to see it!

One Dark Night, under a full moon, in an old cafe on a desolate road, two young women compete to see who can be scarier and use their evil powers to increase their tips.

If you love Horror Films about the food service industry, you should watch this as well. Click this Coral Monsters Movie now and see this .mov video before it's too late!

Still available for download to your iPod as a horrifying mp4!

Tours are forming now for those brave soul who would like to visit the location of this terrifying event!

I eat out so much it is scary!

I do eat in sometimes, but it's usually fruit, or maybe I peel off some Kraft American Singles and slap them on some Parmesan Basil Wheat Thins, I hate the smell of food cooking in the space I live. I don't know why?

I hate the lingering smell of food on the floor, couch, bed... Nothing worse than the smell of fried fish on the carpet when you're face down on the floor drunk, or other reasons.

Moxi-ed a wonderful Woody Allen documentary by Richard Schickel called, "Woody Allen: A Life in Film." I put on my headphone, crawled into bed and watched it.

Fell asleep and at about 4am got up to go pee and standing there in front of the toilet I reached down to scratch an itch on my inner thigh and my skin was completely numb. I was momentarily panicked, even missed the bowl on a couple of squirts.

Turns out I had an unwrapped slice of cheese stuck between my thighs.

This is a screengrab from a film I've been putting together outside of the work I'm doing with my workshop, yet using many of the students.

I've been experimenting with Black and White in digital video and as most of this movie takes place at night, I wanted a Blue tint to the footage.

It looks scary, or rather I look scary, as I should in this role; see, I'm playing a mix of Nosferatu and Nostradamus, by way of Newhart.

That's right, Bob Newhart.

In fact my character's name is Audric Neuheart and he is a psychologist. A Dead Psychologist! His patients are also dead and unable to deal with the complexities of the undead-life.

Then one day he foresees a coming disaster that will wipeout all afterlife among the dead, but he needs help from a woman who lives in the land of the living to save the dead.

It's scary and funny, I think.

Note in the photo how the gate to Audric's manor is crafted with the letter "N" repeated over and over for "Neuheart" so far that was the most expensive part!

I would write more, but I need my beauty rest!

The truth cums out!

My rental queues for GreenCine and Netflix are running dry, so in an effort to find something stimulating to rent, I uncovered this sticky prize!

Description:

Operatives of the Priory of Semen discover that Leonardo da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa using his own sperm. These keepers of the truth fuck in the name of art and kill anyone who gets in their way.

I have to see this!

I haven't even seen Ron Howard's movie, or read the book, but something tells me there's a better chance I'll see this before the other two.

I watched a documentary called, "Thinking XXX" about a photographer putting a book together featuring portraits of porn stars clothed and unclothed. It got its title, I believe from one of my favorite songs by Peaches, "I'm only AA, but I'm thinking XXX."

They have a series of interviews in the film from notable authors discussing porn and its effect on society, and one of them is Whitley Strieber who hosts and produces one of my favorite podcasts.

This week on the show he has an interview with author Michael Baigent (Holy Blood, Holy Grail) who you may recall just had a huge legal battle with author Dan Brown. Baigent's new book is called, "The Jesus Papers," in it he uncovers a letter Jesus wrote when he was imprisoned, backpedaling and saying, "Look, I didn't say I was God, I said I had the spirit of God in me..." or something to that effect. The interview is great and not at all what I thought the book was about, I thought it was about rolling papers Jesus used.

Jesus Christ, was it hot today or what?

I stopped by one of my old favorite libraries and picked up David Thompson's, "The Whole Equation." I don't know why I didn't read this when it came out, but I dig the way he thinks, so I grabbed it.

I was a bit shocked and alarmed when not even two chapters in I came across (no pun intended) the line, "Joan Crawford swallowed her share of cum, and her lips shown in close-ups. How do you think lip gloss got invented?"

Thompson is a dirty, dirty, filthy minded bastard!

This book rocks! So far.

I am watching the DVD of a film by Radley Metzger called, "The Image." It's based on Jean de Berg's novel about the sadomasochistic relationship between a young girl and an older woman. I'm about 10 minutes into it and I can't believe how badly we dressed back in 1976. Boy, it got dated fast.

I'm on some sort of weird retro, S&M, Lesbian porn and Holocaust rut these last few weeks with my rentals. I might need to toss in something like "March of the Penguins" to even my psyche out.

What did Soylent Green taste like?

It's so amazing what can be made out of waste!

I was watching TV and there was a young girl living in the coolest house that was made completely out of salvaged material. They introduced the architect and I did a search for him on-line. Check out his work and his philosophy.

I read some years ago in an old issue of Mother Earth News about a guy who collected scrap lumber and other materials and stored until he had a piece of land to build his house. When he completed his house, it was almost free!

One of the coolest new trends in architecture that I really dig is what they call Earth Bag houses. It's literally scooping up dirt and filling bags and stacking them in cool shapes then covering that with concrete. Some of the designs totally rock!

At the library I picked up a couple of the Trading Spaces books to get some ideas for my new place, but the chicks on that show are so hot, I was dreaming more about banging, than building.

I have an idea for a show that would be perfect for HGTV! It's called, "Built with Jerry Lentz" and it is me building cool projects with all labor being supplied by fashion models and other kinds of hot chicks in very little clothing!

We could all be Kissing Cousins, or closer!

Wanna partake in a lil' incest?

I read the most amazing thing! We are all related! Some guy a few thousand years ago, in East Asia, or Taiwan, or Malaysia, maybe Siberia was the ancestor of every person now living on Earth. He was the last person in history whose family tree branches out to touch all 6.5 billion people on the planet today.

Steve Olson, who wrote the book "Mapping Human History" calculated everybody living today has exactly the same set of ancestors.

In other words, every person who was alive at that time is either an ancestor to all 6 billion people living today, or their line died out and they have no remaining descendants.

It's all Math!

Yet, there is no remainder in the mathematics of infinity.

Statistician Jotun Hein of England's Oxford University wrote, "Had you entered any village on Earth in around 3,000 B.C., the first person you would have met would probably be your ancestor."

It means that all of us have ancestors of every color and creed.

Every Palestinian suicide bomber has Jews in his past.

Every Sunni Muslim in Iraq is descended from at least one Shiite.

Every Klansman's family has African roots.

How awesome is this?

"No matter the languages we speak or the color of our skin, we share ancestors who planted rice on the banks of the Yangtze, who first domesticated horses on the steppes of the Ukraine, who hunted giant sloths in the forests of North and South America, and who labored to build the Great Pyramid of Khufu," Olson and his colleagues wrote in the journal Nature.

I don't know why, but this all trips me out!

We are all the same, even if we are different. We are from the same cloth. We are under the same blanket and we are the blanket. Everything you could ever want or be, you already have and are. The universe is an infinite sphere whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere.

I wish you were here right now, so I could get you out of your panties!

I don't always a direct my movies with my sunglasses on.

One of my students, who so far is a ball busting troublemaker, had the gall to ask why I had my shades on?

Simply, I told him, because I wanted to be surprised by the video later when I edit it. My sunglasses are dirty and smudged, so as I'm filming the actors I'm not getting the full image. There is nothing to distract me from their performance, other than when I tripped over something because I can't see.

I Tivo-ed a great show, excuse me, I Moxi-ed a wonderful documentary called, "Edge of Outside" about independent filmmakers. It wasn't really anything I hadn't seen or heard before, but there was a memorable bit with cinematographer Frederick Elmes talking about working with John Cassavetes and how as Fred would be shooting, John wood walk up behind and elbow him so that the camera movement wouldn't be smooth.

People I know wouldn't understand that, but I do. Nothing pulls me out of a movie more than perfectly in focus, smooth shots with perfect acting and beautiful people. Nothing in my life is like that! When I walk down the street I'm not on a dolly on tracks like Spike Lee is in his films.

Also, there is the need to be surprised with a fresh image when I see it later. You've already seen it performed live and in 3D when you shot it, it's nice to be surprised with something different, because you will already be depressed about how different it is then what you imagined it would be.

Everybody is different.

I watched two very inspiring DVDs.

"It Happened Here" from 1965, a film from one of my heroes, film historian Kevin Brownlow, who was only 18 years old when he and a friend made this film about a defeated World War Two era England and how the people deal with a London populated by Nazis.

This film is amazing!

It looks like a documentary, a nightmarish documentary that must have been so groundbreaking when it was released. Pauline Murray plays a nurse who at first seems completely clueless politically, her friends are aiding a resistance fighter, she needs to support herself and joins a British organization that has merged with Germany's plans, but I believe she is wandering through this movie completely shellshocked after a truly frightening sequence where a Nazi has his face blown off right in front of her by British freedom fighters who inadvertently kill all her friends.

Finally things seem to be going good for her when she is demoted and sent to a country hospital where she accidentally discovers she has helped in the atrocities performed on Russian and Polish hospital patients.

I can't get enough of those crazy Holocaust movies!

I followed that up with another story about the Holocaust, Sarah Silverman's "Jesus Is Magic!" this movie is so oddly inspiring that it made me want to get up and go perform a one-woman show! You know what I mean!

I used to have a huge crush on her, but now I've replaced her with Joanna Angel, because I think she might be more approachable and less dirty than Sarah Silverman.

I took this photograph of Coral Cafe at 3AM in the morning.

It reminds me a bit of Edward Hopper's Nighthawks.

I get e-mail with people asking why I eat there so much? I also get letters where people tell me they've gone there after reading about the place on this page.

I love hanging out there!

All the servers have great personalities and the customer's are such a cast of characters that it's never boring.

If you go there early in the morning you can meet all the movie people going to the studios to work.

If you go after 2AM you can meet strippers getting off their shift.

If you go there at 8PM on Thursday night you can always meet famous science fiction writers along with all the members of the oldest continuously operating science fiction club in the world.

Never is there a time on the clock when the place doesn't have some law-enforcement officers cooling their heels and resting their butts, they always have great stories.

There is a group of about eight cops who are huge cinephiles and love obscure cinema. If you get a chance to sit next to them, prepare to take notes for your next DVD rentals.

The place gets their crazy people, too. I think that is just spicing and gives the place flavor.

One of my favorite people that works there is Hector, we bonded years ago when one morning as we each were going to our cars, we saw a circular object with five bright lights glide quietly overhead and then shoot off into the stars at an extremely high rate of speed. I looked at Hector and said, "What the hell was that?"

"I don't noooooo..." as he ran to his car!

He is now a full blown UFOlogist and is always stopping by my table to tell me in broken English some strange alien video he's seen on Telemundo.

Famous people are always eating there!

Maybe not the famous people you see on Good Day LA, but the more interesting famous people. I just hope it doesn't get overrun and crowded with the Hollywood types we all can't stand...

But I've only seen a few Agents there.

Did you know that at the center of a star there is a heart?

Click on the picture, you will see what I mean.

I get to wake up every morning to these beautiful flowers. How can I be sad with these bright blue faces looking at me?

Oddly, these flowers are right next to the dumpster, so I like to think of it as, sometimes great beauty rises out of trash.

I had a wonderful dream where my mom came to wake me up and take me to a thrift store. We walked up and down the aisles of old and very much used items as she told me stories of all the places she's been since I last saw her.

Every once in awhile I will have dreams about her and be sad after I wake up, but not this time. It seemed so real and sweet. I laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling as her perfume faded away.

I received an e-mail later in the day from the girl I used to date and love very much. I haven't spoken her or written to her since we parted. I was going through a difficult part of my life, yet as I write that, when is life not difficult?

I handled things badly and she didn't deserve to be ignored. I hate to be the cause of anyone's sadness and unfortunately the way I deal with pain is to ignore it.

I am a coward.

In the letter she explained to me someone in her family had committed suicide. She is dealing with all that lies in the wake of that trauma and she paused to remind me of a time when I showed her my scars.

Sometimes when things are going good and the surface of the water is smooth as a mirror, a gate opens and I blurt out some secret. Some puzzle piece that was missing for others, but that I share hoping with you I can be complete.

Holy crap, was it hot on the July 4th!

You know how cats will sometimes nap on the sidewalk or asphalt because it's cooler?

I'm sure it's just napping.

For some weird reason I decided today was the day for a road trip. I left beautiful downtown Van Nuys and headed over into Hollywood where when I hit Sunset Boulevard took a right and followed it as far as it could go.

Cruised around Pacific Palisades where every single person I saw walking down the street was either carrying a baby for pushing a baby stroller. Went down to the beach where I paid $7 to park my car for 10 minutes.

It was very hot and that was disappointing because my whole reason for going to the beach was for it to be cool. There wasn't even any trees on the beach for shade. More trees need to be planted on the beach!

Drove over into Santa Monica and walked around the 3rd Street Promenade. Stopped into Barney's Beanery for some much needed ice tea and chicken quesadillas. When my beautiful waitress, Korinne came by after another server brought me my plate, she asked, "Did everything come out okay?"

"I won't know until after I've eaten it."

The joke was; it won't come out until after I've eaten it, meaning... Oh, forget it! She didn't get it either. It has five different cheeses and as of this writing, it still hasn't come out.

I hopped in my car, which was in a parking garage, in the shade, yet it was still 90 something degrees inside my car! Needless to say I was soaked with sweat.

After driving another two hours my air-conditioner starts to cool the car down just-in-time to the park in another parking garage, this time at Hollywood and Highland.


You would think parking five levels below ground that it would be nice and cool, however that is not the case as it was explained to me that they pump the exhaust of the air-conditioning of the Kodak Theater complex into the parking structure, making it sweltering and suffocatingly muggy.

I walked around the shaded part of Hollywood Boulevard and rubbed sweaty shoulders with the great unwashed tourists and homeless. I climbed to the highest structure and witnessed three teenage punks leaning over the edge and spitting on the innocent below.

I imagined the joy of walking behind them and tossing them over the railing.


I was stopped twice by foreigners asking me to take their pictures, I did because I look like a picture-taking kind of guy.

Got back in my car and took Highland until it became Ventura Boulevard and on into Encino to a bookstore, then into Tarzana to park in front of Edgar Rice Burroughs old house and grave. I do that sometimes just for inspiration, and today there was a nice shade to park.

Then I headed over to Burbank and Coral Cafe to visit with Aaron, Sow and Ray. Aaron had just bought a nifty new hat that I think he looks very smart in. He and I have trouble finding hats for our huge heads and sometimes have to spend extra money because of it. Today however, he explained to me he just found this baby at the Do-It Center for $9! And by baby, I of course mean the hat.


His baby Ray is so much fun to play with!

I know this sounds weird, and maybe Aaron and Sow don't see it, but this kid can't get enough of me! I believe it's my child like personality, my round head is a pleasing shape to any baby and intelligent woman, plus I believe as a survival mechanism, infants were genetically implanted with some psychic abilities and can read the minds of those around them. Ray obviously has scanned and downloaded my info and is aware that I am safe to cuddle with and to drool on.

I was unpacking some boxes when I got home and found this photograph of me from when I was young. Look how cute I am! Or I guess I should say, was.


Can you believe that adorable boy with an immense imagination and unlimited potential grew up to be me?

What the hell happened?

Did I go left when I should've gone right at some crossroad?

How did I end up where I am?

How did I end up like this?

Should I have sold my soul to Satan?

Should I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior?

Sadly, neither have asked.

You know, I have friends that are hairstylist for film and television and music videos, I tried to tell them this and they don't believe me, but my barber used to set a bowl on my head and trim around it to get that haircut.

Try finding a bowl that will fit the size of my head today and you'll know why I shave.

Allan Dwan is a big hero of mine!

I had to take this picture of the poster that hangs above my favorite booth at Coral Cafe. If you ever get chance to read Peter Bogdanovich's, "Who the Devil Made It: Conversations with Legendary Film Directors" there is a fantastic interview with Allan Dwan.

He made over 400 feature films and many Westerns where he didn't even have a script. He just made them up on the fly.

The other night I was watching Kung Fu Theater on KHIZ TV64 and they had an old friend of mine, filmmaker Jeff Burr on for an interview. At one point he mentions a former boss of mine, Charles Band who Jeff has also done work for, by saying how Band wanted to make his films faster and faster.

"If the film is two hours long Charlie wanted it made in two hours!" said Jeff.

It was hilarious the way Jeff said it!

Then I started thinking, that this was in fact what I was trying to do in my workshop. Granted, I'm not trying to make midget puppet alien monster doll movies, but I am getting 10 Actors to improvise a feature film within a few hours.

They may not be polished, professional, or even pretty films, yet I believe every film we do will have something to say about the human experience, but with a little nasty talk and dirty jokes.

You know you're a loser when Elmo turns his back on you.

I didn't want my photo taken with him anyway!

I overheard two women talking as I was following on the sidewalk. One was telling the other about a guy that works in another department from her and how she has always had a slight crush on him. He approached her one day before lunch holding his electronic organizer. He told her, "I like you and would like to get to know you and I just had to delete a friend and now I have a space for your info."

Seems he had limited space in his organizer for only so many friends and now that the space became available, he wanted to add her into his life.

I wanted to hear more about this and how she felt, but I already walked a block past my destination and thought this was getting suspicious.

People out here have too much going on in their lives to make new friends or keep old ones. I've been wanting to make new friends and see old friends I've missed and this weekend two parties took place where I could make that happen. However, with the heat and humidity I've broken out in a horribly disfiguring rash.

Trying not to panic or blow things out of proportion, I got checked out for the Ebola virus. I was given a body scrub that contains some sort of acid to use while I shower and a salve to apply to the bumps. Both treatments sting.

Today the bumps have cleared!

It was possibly a heat rash or worse diaper rash. I was told it was stress related. I didn't even realize I was stressed out until I looked at the bill.

Running this acting workshop is great, but I need to get some health insurance, because I will be coming into contact with new and strange people, carriers of dangerous and rare viruses. You know actors!

While my flesh bubbled and steamed like the La Brea Tar Pits, I watched Terence Malick's, "The New World." I enjoyed the film. It's really a wonderful and beautiful film, a work of art and poetry.

I thought about it all night and even into my dreams.

Christian Bale is such a fantastic presence on screen. I had to watch, "Batman Begins" again after seeing him in this. In the extras, the DVD has a documentary on the making and Bale tells a funny prank he plays on Malick's directing style that has the crew running. He seems like such a cool guy.

I should stop writing now, because and I just talked on the phone with my sister-in-law, who politely told me I "write a lot of boring stuff."

Nice.

Being friends with Brian Singer gets you places and I don't mean just the hot tub!

Since all my friends will be seeing the movie today, I thought it was time to post a few pics from my on set visit to one of the many effects houses that will make you believe a man can fly.

As you can see The Daily Planet building is not that big or impressive, but after layers of digital artistry have their go at it, it will make you believe a building can... well, just stand there.


Brandon was everything I imagined him to be, tall, but kinda flat. Yet, perfectly flat.

I was standing in as Lex Luthor moments before being asked to leave.

My friend is having his 50th Birthday today! We are all getting together to surprise him. Everyone chipped in to buy him a woman. I guess rent him a woman. Just for fun!

It's weird I know, but just like marijuana, prostitution is legal here in Los Angeles, I think, so why not? Being that he doesn't smoke, or even have sex for that matter...

Well, it'll be something for we can all talk and laugh about later!

I didn't know where to find a woman for him, but a Police Officer at Coral Cafe suggested I look in the LA Weekly under "Escort" but on the drive to find a newsstand that had a copy, I found a hooker that looked pretty clean and possibly his type.

I doubt she knows much about cartoons, but she seems like the girls he points out to me in the singles profiles he saves that he likes.

She was a bit more pricey than I imagined. It was like, I could buy him a video iPod, or this girl for a whole day? He already has an iPod, so I'm going with the whore!

I hope he doesn't read this before the surprise B'Day party!

I told the hooker, this was my first time ordering a girl, so she said, "Make sure you bring some condoms."

Good point, I doubt he has any, Why would he?

"Should they be ribbed or anything? What brand do you like?" I asked her.

She looked at me weird, "Just plain, good rubbers, no French Ticklers, I'm not doing this for my pleasure."

Nice! She takes her work seriously! I picked a good one!

After the transaction, I'm concerned. I wonder if I did the right thing by paying her in full and in advance?