Today was pretty non eventful for me. I was completely comatose. Swimming in a medicated, drug induced, Nyquil freebasing haze.

Feeling slightly better, but still achy and woozy. But good enough to type with both hands.

I can't believe how fast I went through all my Kleenex. I mean, Sam's Club-size pack of Kleenex too!

I had a really wild dream about making a music video...

I didn't know the band, or know the song, but if I could have remembered the song, I know it would be huge. I tried to tell myself to wake up and write it all down, but something told me, "Don't worry, baby, you'll remember it..." well, I didn't!

It seemed so real! It was a happy successful dream and those are rare for me.

It might have been Full Scale in the dream. I was thinking about how I enjoyed hanging with them and I have been playing their CD way too much. Also, They have one song that for some reason reminds me of my time living in Texas, the people I knew, and meeting my Texas x-wife...

I think I was thinking way too much about the song, but it is one of those you can't get out of your head. It somehow touches me on so many levels.

Empty Texas

I saw her standing there, her flowing hair and skin so fair
Want her so, Need her so
(I'm desperate!)

If she could take me back, The one thing that I never had
Want that bad, Need that bad
(I'm desperate!)

If this was Texas then I'd have a gun and he'd get some
Want that bad, Need that bad
(I'm desperate!)

I'll take my pound of flesh

You were never into me
I was always second to you

Can't you see I'm alone?
Just like on Oprah fucking Winfrey
Where's my Hollywood screenplay mother fucker?
I'm gonna pump you so full of lead

I want what I can't have

If I was pushed into this was it my fault

My minds changing with the weather
Is it December or November?
I'm holding on to something
I thought was real

My mind is like feather
Is it December or November?
I'm rising from the ashes
Phoenix in the night.

And you want what you cannot have

My mind is like a feather
Is it December or November?
I'm Rising, Rising, Rising.

If this was Texas then I'd have a gun and he'd get some

------------

Noah Wyle is leaving "ER" as a regular cast member at the end of this season, NBC said. I haven't come across any new projects that he's working on, but he may get into directing films.

He was awesome as Apple's Steve Jobs in "Pirates of Silicone Valley."

Ted Koppel, anchor of ABC News' "Nightline" since it began 25 years ago, will leave the network when his contract expires in December.

No word on what he has planned, but word on the street is he will join the cast of "The View."

Mitch Hedberg, the genius comic from Minnesota, has left this world, when he died in New Jersey, his family said. He was 37.

I was a huge fan of his and was lucky enough to meet him twice and see him perform once. I will go as far to say he actually changed my life in some ways.

The greats in this world can make you think differently, so differently, that you can't remember the way to thought before you encountered them.

Mitch Hedberg, I will miss you! On that escalator to Heaven, remember, if the escalator breaks down, it will only become stairs.

I am completely sick!

Achy. Miserable. Poopy.

I, who is sick, you is my First suspect in the crime of infecting me.

Subject: It's Official!

YOU HAVE MADE ME SICK!!!!

Thank you.

The good news is that you can get better now, because
you never get better until you pass on the virus.

Tag, I'm it.

Jerry


To:
"Jerry Lentz"

Subject:
Re: It's Official!

WooHoo! You give me too much credit..... really Manfest made you
sick, it takes 3 days for the germs to manifest. Get it? Manfest?

Manifest?

Dude, I rock.

Much tea!

Hugs

Sometimes when sick it's good to watch movies in bed. Kleenex by my side. Vick's Vapor Rub on my chest. Soup. Hot Water Bottle. Bucket next to bed.

I just watched the sickest movie I've seen in quite a while!

But I loved it!

"Gozu," or Gokudo kyofu dai-gekijo: Gozu. I think it means Cowhead.

It's by one of my favorite filmmakers, Takashi Miike. In it Minami mistakenly kills a gangster associate of his named Brother. Almost as soon as the murder takes place, the body of the deceased man is gone, prompting Minami to conduct a search. It really is like David Lynch, "Fight Club," and the fever dream I had before watching it.

One of the cooler scene, you get to see a dude crawl out from inside a young girl... Seriously!

Also, thanks to Netflix I watched, "Sex: The Annabel Chong Story," and "Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy." Those two films, while good depressed me.

I have such a fever my sheets are soaked!

Someone got a leg up in Hollywood, but like the evil industry it is... They lost their foothold. They found a severed leg with workboot on in the construction on the 20th Century Fox lot. Dogs looking for more severed parts right now. I've e-mailed several Fox friends that work there, but as of yet, no word.

Some would give an arm and a leg to work there, dogs now looking for the arm...

Britney Spears needs to do get your attention, she feels neglected by you so she has a new pair of surgically-enhanced boobies.

I've been reading probably the best book I've read all week! It's Sharon Waxman's "Rebels on the Backlot" about the guys that made great killer movies like, "Fight Club" "Pulp Fiction" and "Boogie Nights" films with independent vision while still being made inside the Hollywood system.

There is one part in the book that just floored me...

Quentin Tarrantino has just become the icon that he is, okay so, he walks into his office where his phone is ringing off the hook with offers of work and money...

He then tells his secretary, "Hey, you know, I've always want to have sex with Anna Nicole Smith, can you call her up?"

In less than 30 mins she comes to the office...

Other than the Anna Nicole Smith part... How cool is that?

Getting your secretary to call up the 'Ho!

It doesn't seem to pay to be a germ phobic person when with all the work it takes to avoid contact with people, you still get sick.

Manfest provided many oppurtunities to have viruses spread in my direction. I know many people that were sick.

I am feeling like I am joining them.

Margot, Aaron's sister has giving me some Aaron News!

He has headed back to Thailand. He found out that he's gonna be a daddy with his gal, "Sow."

My friend Jen pointed out how people tend to procreate during times of tragety like the tsunami that Sow and Aaron survived. Now, Margot has shown me how the boy brings lots of fun with him whereever he goes.

He brought another earthquake, He went to Bali and there was a bombing at a dance club not far from him, he goes to Thailand and there is the largest natural disaster in history and he went to Thailand on Sunday and on Monday there is an earthquake measuring 8.2 off the coast of Indonesia. He needs to stop traveling... For the sake of these poor people.

The Military should consider sending Aaron to Iraq.

Russell Crowe is not a grunt anymore.

The Oscar winner, who loves being a musician when he's not unleashing hell on the big screen, has announced his rock band, 30 Odd Foot of Grunts, is officially calling it quits.

Despite making six albums, the rockers never caught fire with the record-buying public, never landed on the charts, nor had a hit single. In fact, their 2002 release sold an embarrassing 156 copies in its first week in stores.

"It is without doubt the most satisfying record I've ever made, and I know when you hear it you will be seduced by its beauty," Crowe bragged.

George Clooney, whom Crowe harshly criticized last month along with Harrison Ford and Robert De Niro for making money by appearing in foreign TV commercials.

Clooney: "I'm glad he set us straight. Because Harrison, Bob and I were putting a band together called Grunting For 30 Feet, and that would also fall under the heading of 'bad use of celebrity.' Thanks for the heads up."

That Clooney... He so funny!

"Gladiator," director Ridley Scott has got what looks like an awsome movie coming out about the Round Table and I don't mean Rountable pizza...

Kingdom of Heaven

Ridley Scott's brother Tony Scott directed the Tom Cruise movie "TopGun," now a movie is coming similar but all scifi high tech with Cruise's "Colateral," costar Jamie Foxx...

Imagine, "Ray," behind the stick of a fighter jet!

Checkout "Stealth," and it's website.

The website has the coolass trailer, plus a video file of footage purported to be of government experimental jets rocketing through the skies.

It's about Stelth fighters and a new robot powered stelth jet that after being hit by lightning gets a mind of it's own.

The movie looks like it might have been written by a robot.

Robots never get the Flu.

Yea, that's right...

I know I've banged quite a few midgets in my time, hell, who hasn't? But this lil' bitch rocked me hard!

I love her.

There. I said it. I don't care.

We met across an open field. At a distance of about 40 feet she appeared about 5 feet 9 inches, then I realized she was only about 3 feet from me.

Damn, my depth perception!

We had a great time talking about all sorts of things. Music, Cinema, Art... When I told her that I thought she smelled good.

She got a lil' short with me and said, "That's Arrid, I don't wear any perfume!"

She left me.

Later we exchanged number, promised to hook up later in the night, but when the call came, I couldn't hear the ringtone, because of Tinnitus from the concert.

I haven't returned the call. I want to... I think she's cool, but really, Rock Chicks are so tough.

Bridget the Midget is an Amazon!

Later at Crossroads was a great after party with the band Full Scale!

These guys are so great, funny, smart... Oh and they're Aussies!

http://www.fullscaleband.com/



Chicks dig that!

They had chicks!

No chicks were left over for any of us American blokes.

That sucked!

I will not go to Australia again, in protest!

I got so drunk, high, stupid, and after days without sleep... Insane!

Sure Manfest had some dudes there, but all I seemed to see were chicks.

And many of them were wet and wearing very little.

These two girls played in the pudding.

But the pudding tasted awful!

Especially after Big Snax was skinny dipping in it!

I thought the vat of pudding was hot when Big Snax was sitting in it, cause it was all bubbling up around him, later he confest to farting in it...

WHY?

Lord Almighty, WHY?

MANFEST!!!

I get to the fairgrounds and twenty feet into walking through the gates, I step into cow manure!

Great!

YeeHaw!

The sun is shining after days of much rain, but now it's so beautiful. Brad's Girl T lathers me down with sunscreen. She's my hero, because I saw so many people completely burned at the end of the day.

It was a complete blast for me, I made so many friends and only a handful of enemies.

I ran into many old friends out walking around that I either lost contact with, or had cut off communication with.

Manfest even healed old wounds...

My friend Brad and I met this girl at a Chinese restaurant.

She's really tall. Brad is tall. I'm thinking she's about 7'6".

I stood on a ladder to get this shot.

I was thinking she might be good in a movie, but I don't think she even cares about things like that.

I find that kind of strange.

It's one thing to be shy, but some girls feel completely free removing their clothes in front of me, but when I pull out my equipment (video equipment, you perv) they just have no interest in being in a film.

Some want to be stars and some don't.

Morty Seinfeld is dead! Barney Martin, the veteran character actor who once served as a stand-in for Jackie Gleason and found fame late in life as Jerry Seinfeld's pop in Seinfeld, died at his home in Studio City, California. He was 82.

He was also 82 degrees...

I find that weird that weather would tie in with his dead, but then I know after one gets a certain age, that's all you can talk about... The weather.

Dave Zatz has updated his handy TiVo To Go guide to include instructions for moving your recorded TiVo content over to Sony’s handheld gaming device. Imagine transferring your TiVo To Go content elsewhere, not just the PSP.

An actor is alleging that he was Vincent Gallo’s "Brown Bunny" stunt weener…and breaking his confidentiality agreement because he hasn’t yet been paid for letting Chloe Sevigny playing his skin flute.

I think Gallo is a genius, but in many ways don't enjoy his movies. However there is great art that I don't enjoy, but think about all the time. I think about him and his work quite a bit.

Manfest is tomorrow...

I need energy. I can't sleep. My mind is racing.

My LA friends are making fun of the name. They think it's sounds "Gay." Man-Fest... Like it's a festival for men only.

People can be so mean when they are jealous or have tendencies that they reject in themselves.

Fresno is only 217 miles away from LA, but so few people travel the distance. Even when we have Nine Inch Nails and LA gets squat, well whatever...

It's not like Fresno is completely retarded. There's just of lot of people acting retarded. There can be a great culture here if some people wouldn't squash any attempts to create a scene.

Some callers and listeners even say it with a country accent and it sounds like they are saying, "Man-Fist."

Maybe a better name would be better, but I am excited to see the thousands of listeners and the 15 bands.

I hope I can sleep...

I know I'm not the greatest photographer, even though I've won many awards, some people just can't stand to see themselves in my work.

From:
"Margot"

To:
"Jerry Lentz"

Hi Jerry, how are you? I saw your website finally!!
I hate that pic of me from your camera phone.
Can you put up a different pic from that day?
I am so flattered by all the nice comments about
me!!!! So nice of you!!!

Ok, I'll check back on the site soon to make
sure there's a less retarded pic of me. =)

Margot

Some people still tell me that I haven't gotten over Margot yet. I'm trying. It's hard. I just know that I'm not right for her, or maybe anyone else, either.

It's a burden to be so hard on myself. I have a horrible self image. I can see that... I see it every time I look in the mirror!

I have dreams where I'm handsome, young, smart, wealthy... Then I wake up and my waking life is the nightmare!

After being turned down by handicapped girls in wheelchairs and chicks from Third World countries where English isn't even a second language... I'm aiming to meet sweet and hot Blind chicks.

But then with my germ phobia, I might turn them off by my constant need for them to wash their hands before touching me.

Guitarist Rod Price, founding member of the band Foghat, died after falling down a stairway at his home. He was 57.

I saw Foghat in concert.

The weird thing is... The stairs had 57 steps I heard. And another strange thing to Rock and Roll History.

Angelina Jolie has been named the sexiest woman in the world by FHM magazine. After her, readers ranked, in order, Jennifer Garner, Paris Hilton, Charlize Theron, Halle Berry, Alyssa Milano, Teri Hatcher, Pamela Anderson, Scarlett Johansson, Lindsay Lohan and the late Polident spokesperson Martha Raye.

"Sixth Sense" helmer M. Night Shyamalan will write and direct his next film, the fantasy thriller "Lady in the Water," for Warner Bros. Pictures.

"Water" centers on the superintendent of an apartment building who finds a rare type of sea nymph swimming in the apartment pool. That's like Sea Monkeys!

Oh, did I give away the trick ending?

The coolest internet pirating hoax, or marketing ploy has taken place.

The New movie, "Batman Begins" has been leaked out to the internet! When one takes the time to download the movie, one will find a Batman
movie completely pieced together with outtakes and samples of edited clips from various Batman media including old Black and White Batman movies I never even heard of...

The movie was created by a company to market the new Christian Bale Batman film and to whack the pee pee of internet pirates...

It's been raining like crazy an shit here!

This is me looking down as the camera looks up and the rain shoots by like falling stars. I may look kinda goofy. I wish I had put on my shades and took off that cap.

The rain is lit by a streetlight and as wet as it was, it was so beautiful there with the halo around the light.

It was almost a euphoric moment where sadness is lost like tears in rain.

The Oscar-nominated "Sideways" star and tv's "Wings" actor Thomas Haden Church, has been chosen to play Spider-Man's new archenemy in Spider-Man 3. No one is saying which comic villain he's playing, but I'm guessing it's one that will keep me from seeing this sequel.

Jay Mohr, whose did Fox's critically praised comedy "Action" and hosted and executive produced NBC's reality series "Last Comic Standing," has inked a deal with Sony Pictures Television.

Mohr will create, star in and produce a new series for the studio. No one is saying which villain he will be playing, but I'm guessing it's one that will keep me from seeing this show.

Nora Dunn has joined the cast of the CBS telefilm "Amber Frey: Witness for the Prosecution." Former SNL's Dunn plays Frey's attorney, Gloria Allred. No one is saying who will be playing Amber, but I'm guessing it's someone that will keep me from seeing this show.

The 11 contestants left on Fox's reality hit "American Idol" are getting another shot at stardom. Phone numbers that allowed viewers to pick their favorite contestant were incorrectly displayed during the show, prompting a re-vote during the show scheduled to air tonight. No one is saying whose phone numbers were displayed, but after nearly 30 million calls I bet that dude was pissed.

Filmmaker and aqualung inventor Jacques Cousteau’s grandson Fabien is building a shark-shaped submarine that will use pneumatics to power a working tail so that he will be able to slip in undetected with real live sharks.… the dive team on the Calypso decided to make the robotic shark act erratic and ” injured”.

Consequently, a large female turned on the shark and gave it a “death blow” which is a bite to the gills. She came back for several more and completely destroyed the robotic shark.

Shark chicks are so cruel.

The robot shark did not have a diver inside of it, but was instead helmed by forty pounds of bacon. Not Kevin Bacon!

Not unlike the tv show, "Spring Break Shark Attack" which was so successful in the ratings, CBS has ordered more Holiday related shark shows like "Easter Sunday Shark Attack."

These boys may someday soon affect entertainment in a way you never expected, or even cared about...

Yeah, these guys are geniuses alright. Brilliant. Artistic. Wealthy.

Chicks go insane over guys with these qualities.

Just not these guys.

But girls? Don't wait too long, because soon these guys will gain weight, get old, lose hair, and have only prostitutes and nurses to spend money on.

Saturday Night Live proved what Dicks they can be in a recent skit. David Spade spoofed Owen Wilson and his crooked nose. Make up artists used a prosthetic penis for Wilson's nose on Spade's face.

Check out trade publication Broadcasting & Cable's screen captures on its Website, broadcastingcable.com

Dr. Phil McGraw was on the "Osbournes," and completely cured the dysfunctional family. The show will be canceled and the family will star in a new feel good family show about an Angel that moves in with the Family and makes dreams come true for young kids by giving them the box set, "Prince of Darkness."

George Lucas turns out to be a really cool dude.

With May 19, just around the corner and what should be a lot on his mind...

Like "Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith," Lucas was leaving his Skywalker Ranch to head home and help his oldest daughter make a family dinner, when on a long stretch of road he came upon 19 year old Modesto farmer Jeremy Longo and his 1953 Chevy Bel Air.

The car was broken down with Longo under the hood. Lucas pulled over and began helping him out. Longo had no idea who Lucas was as the Star Wars creator rolled up his sleeves and began getting greasy.

Together they worked for about an hour and Lucas had the boy use his cellphone to call his dad when it seemed the car just wouldn't start.

The Senior Longo arrived ready to pick up his son when Lucas started up the Chevy. Mr. Longo immediately recognized Lucas from the recent interview on "60 Minutes."

They all shook hands, Lucas refused any payment, but offered some car advise to the young man.

How cool is that?

Lucas seems so cool. I hope the movie doesn't suck now.

I only bought this GQ because I like to keep up on the latest Men's Fashions...

It has absolutely nothing to do with Jessica Alba in these lil' saggy panties.

I've had this mag almost three days and haven't been able to even open it.

After I've used the cover for all it's worth, I barely have the energy left to crack it open.

"The Ring Two" The tale of the tape sequel to the remake of the hugely popular Japanese horror franchise scared up $36 million...

That means there will be a sequel...

"Ring" star, not Ringo Star, Naomi Watts and fellow cast and crew of "Lord of the Rings" director Peter Jackson's new "King Kong" have completed shooting. The $145 million remake, began Sept. 6. and is due for release in December. It also stars Jack Black.

If you remember Peter Jackson from his Oscar acceptance speeches, you will be surprised by how much weight he has lost.

I'm thinking he's setting himself to upgrade to a new and younger wife.

Pixar's animated "The Incredibles" sells 5 million DVDs on first day, 10 million burned bootlegs on the second...

"The Insider" host Pat O'Brien is in rehab...

Okay, maybe he's a junky, but you know as a journalist, he's in the best location to get the scoop on Hollywood stars.

Okay, now that I got my second wind, I'll try and read a bit of GQ.

I just don't get it...

Black Chicks dig the boy!

And believe me that's a-okay with me!

The Sistas seem to flock to me because they can since my spirit and know in their hearts that me with my pale White skin, like Porcelain and ripped abs against their beautiful Chocolate skin is the perfect symbol of Yen and Yang.

Black girls love treating me right. They show me what they can do. Years of History, DNA, breeding, racism, hate, violence, and nail salons collapse, shattered like frail frosted glass to the floor while hot passion and rhythmic music erupt in orgasmic colors and sensations beyond flesh.

First they love breaking some family taboos. Daddy would had them messing with a White boy. Their ex-boyfriend would just die know they poured their voodoo love magik on a skin-headed Whitey. Their mommies would faint with images of Slave/Master and thoughts of Thomas Jefferson and Wheezy.

That's the fun.

To toss those binds that the past try to hold on us and embrace a new way.

The party always start with Usher and blends into the Delfonics as Black Velvet paintings glow in Black Light and a fat bowl of weed sits smiling on the night stand.

One girl has to be the first to begin removing her clothes to get the other girls going.

Then, "Didn't I (Blow Your Mind This Time)" kicks in and with all the clothes on the floor and Black and White mingling on the waterbed a new religion is created and destroyed, stars and galaxies merge and separate, food eaten earlier churns in the belly as motion sickness results from the floppy water mattress.

I fall in love, but with which girl, there are too many...

These are bad girls, these Nubian Princesses...

They don't need me or any man. The take what they want, when they want, and old prejudices coagulate and become excuses as to why the love can't continue, but e-mail addresses are exchanged in case the urge arises again.

I need me my own Pam Grier and I need her NOW!

On the way to LA I passed through a hailstorm!

It was so loud to be in the car with these pellets of ice shooting off the metal of the Honda. I was afraid the window was going to burst.

Suddenly the deafening sound was silenced and the setting sun popped out from behind clouds and to the left of me the biggest and most complete rainbow appeared.

I felt my heart swell and a sense of something full of promise rise up in me. It was like I drove my car into a field of all possibilities. All dreams were now possible. All hope gave way to arrival. All faith gave way to fact. All dreams solidified.

It seemed a shaft of light passed into my car and washed away all reason.

I became woozy with thoughts. My vision clear. My sinuses open. Then it was apparent; I was passing a sulfur plant.

I use to hate that smell, but now it was wonderful.

It lingered in my car mixing with methane, the aroma of fertilizer, manure, and other scents this trip passes me through.

The wet earthy smell of agriculture morphed into the smell of Los Angeles.

I was now at my other home.

My apartment smelled of dust. Decaying flecks of dried skin that had flaked off me for these passed few years rotted microscopically.

I had no energy to clean up the place. I needed food and I needed it fast.

Aaron called. He and Steve and Jon Hooper were at a Brazilian meat restaurant in Burbank and if I could hustle over quick I could be eating the first serving of a long session of various meats that the table would be receiving.

It was next door to Cartoon Network and our waitress was hot in that Jeri Ryan way. She too is from Missouri the "Show Me" state and is an actress.

We had a great time, talked about all sorts of things, but after consuming about 80 pounds of meat I became dizzy and feel my vegan lifestyle has been destroyed.

Saturday ended in great sleep and dreams.

I'm doing dangerous things...

I'm building a Robot.

A cold, emotionless, armored, thinking machine.

Here's a picture of me at my workbench creating life by electronics, when I should be making babies.

Now, I'm watching Michael Mann's, "Collateral" thanks to Netflix and today's DVD's they sent me.

Why is it dangerous?

Cause I'm watching it on this laptop, my PowerBook G4.

Yea?

Okay, there it is sitting in the passenger seat as I drive to LA. That's wrong I know, but there is little in the way of entertainment on that long stretch of highway between The No and LA.

Well, there are the automobile accidents to keep you interested along the way.

Aaron was on the show this morning taking about getting his Thai girl all knocked up... Well, he said it all sweet an' stuff.

Aaron was on the radio with the sound of waves behind him. Jen being a trouble maker wanted to remind Aaron of his time during the Tsunami.

Dead silence when Brad tells Aaron, "Dude, your sister's Hot!"

Brad was also trying to cause trouble, but this time between me and Aaron, when he mentions Margot.

Steve in LA has put it online with other things he likes from the show:

Hear me!

How's the weather in LA? Should I travel? I'm sitting at a gas station now typing this...

Michael Mann is awesome!

"Collateral" totally rocks!

Aaron told me his "Miami Vice" movie with Colin Ferrel and Jamie Foxx takes place in the 80's, how cool is that?

Steve asked me about who will play Edward James Almos' character? I said, "Benicio Del Toro." But later thought I should have said, Javier Bardem...

I doubt "Battlestar Galactica" can do with Almos.

It's like "Weekend at Bernie's" with a dead Jim Henson!

Muppets?

Damn, is Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay a couple of geniuses or what?

The Island

Steve tells me in his bitter and critical way;

"Whew that looks bad...so you tell me...what is that movie about?"

I tell him;

About 90mins too long!

It's based on my friend the late Richard Laymon's
book, "The Island" about a body farm where clone are
grown to use as body parts so people can live forever.
A snag happens in the facility and a few of the bodies
wake up with no memories of their own and try to
escape the "Island!!!!"

It isn't really based on Dick's book, but it has the same title and I thought maybe people in the confusion might pick up a few copies.

Thirty years after the British comedy troupe Monty Python began tickling funny bones on both sides of the Atlantic, the Broadway debut of "Monty Python's Spamalot" proved fans are still chuckling.

I grew up on these guys and kids today have no idea how important they were to people my age.

The musical stars Tim Curry, David Hyde Pierce and Hank Azaria, it is a stage adaptation of the 1975 film "Monty Python and the Holy Grail."

A movie based on the play is now in the works... Whaaa?

David Letterman's used to dealing with crazy people breaking into his home and now at his vacation hideaway.

Authorities in Montana have nabbed a man for allegedly plotting to abduct the Late Show host's infant son and nanny from his isolated Rocky Mountain ranch and hold them for $5 million ransom.

The suspect is Kelly A. Frank, a subcontractor who had been doing some painting work at the sprawling 2,700-acre retreat that Letterman bought in 1999.

Frank was cheap and that's what you get when you try lowballin' on prices.

Remember that lady that thought she was Dave's wife? She kept breaking in to his house, then she finally threw herself in front of a train...

You never hear Leno get that kind of love.

In her new autobiography, Jane Fonda says her former husband Roger Vadim forced her into sexual encounters.

The book, "My Life So Far," describes Vadim bullying Fonda into inviting other women into bed, as well as other lurid situations created by Vadim.

That's hot!

Fonda, 67, was married to the French director from 1965 to 1973. She was his third wife of five, which included actress Brigitte Bardot, his first spouse. Vadim directed Fonda in his 1968 sci-fi "Barbarella."

I'm thinking Roger Vadim is a genius!

I feel weird today.

It was a really good day, but I'm haunted by something I did last night that I feel was wrong.

A couple people told me nice things, but each in their own way told me I seemed either sad, or serious.

I know I have a lot on my mind.

Like; What am I on this Earth to do? How can I be a artist, if I'm not making art? And, How can I ever have a girlfriend when I push any that might be interested in me away?

In a moment of weakness I showed a friend something that few people have seen.

She too asked me, "You're not so sad that you'll leave are you?"

I know she was talking about leaving "The No" but it reminded me instantly of something someone else had asked me long ago.

I showed my friend a scar on my wrist from a stupid thing I did when I was younger and felt there was no other way out. It always embarrasses me. A constant reminder of how cruel we can be to ourselves.

I believe now, after the same person had asked me how old was I when I started shaving my head, that I did it (shave) to change what I saw in the mirror every morning.

You know, so I wouldn't be reminded that I was "The Enemy." The one that could hurt me more than all the bullies, my father, bad situations and sadness.

I try and stay away from the scar.

I don't wear watches.

But time still moves.

Sometimes slowly.

Like this drive at night.

Darkness helps hide the ugliness, but there are those painful memories that are hard to fade away.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!!!

This is my friend Big Snax!

He is so cool!

We had a late dinner and talked movies, life in Texas, chicks, radio, weight loss...

He has a really good sense of movies. Likes Art films like me and Onion Rings!

Damn, those rings are like crack!

My friend Steve is in love with this ass wiggling Pepsi girl.

Yeah, she's cute an all, but do you really want a girl wiggling like that around the house all the time? With that hot ass?Wouldn't you get tired of that? Up in your Tower? Or Fortress of Solitude?

Okay, maybe me too!

Robert Blake Innocent!

But still bad actor... I didn't believe his performance in court, but believed his work "In Cold Blood."

One trial I'd like to be on for Jury fun...

Prosecutors showed jurors in the Michael Jackson case a series of sexually explicit magazines, DVDs and videos seized from Neverland Ranch.

Remember you have to be this high to ride Michael Jackson!

The cardinal leading the Vatican's charge against The Da Vinci Code urged Catholics to shun it like rotten food and branded the bestseller "a sack full of lies" insulting the Christian faith. He also said Catholic bookstores should take the thriller off their shelves and accused U.S. author Dan Brown of "deplorable" behavior.

Yet this guy said nothing when Priest worldwide were partaking in their own lil' Neverland activities!

I believe St. Paddy running the snakes out of Ireland was really about Christianity moving the Pagans out. The serpent was a symbol in many pagan cults.

I know many cute gothchicks that have snake tattoos.

All my Wicca friends however happen to be rather on the large side. Where are the sexy witches? Why can't I be Bewitched by a hotbody?

All I get is a Hotpocket...

The Casting for my new horror film is really beginning!

This girl could be my new discovery!

I think she has the potential to be my Angelina Jolie. Dark, mysterious, tall...

Can I get her to wear a vial of my blood around her neck?

I love Rosario Dawson! She and two others were arrested while filming scenes for a movie at the site of last year's Republican National Convention.

She's so militant, right?

The charges were dismissed since the defendants were filming the movie using the RNC protests as the backdrop. They did not participate in the protests themselves and they had remained civil with police.

Thank goodness she had it all on film.

Dawson and her cohorts were among 30 people ordered by police to move away from the demonstration area.

Although a city permit that allowed them to film there was shown, police still took the trio into custody and charged them with disorderly conduct and obstructing governmental administration.

Damn, pigs!

"This Revolution," features Dawson as a woman whose husband was killed in Iraq and joins up with a band of anarchists to protest outside the 2004 RNC.

Dawson wound up spending nine hours in jail before she was released without having to post bail.

I know that must have been horrible, in my mind the guard was a tough bitter lesbian played by Angelina Jolie.

A strip search was needed and you know the rest!

She next stars in the noirish "Sin City" with Bruce Willis and Jessica Alba.

David Duchovny's big-screen debut as director and writer has wife, Tea Leoni, playing his mother in "House of D."

That's kinda weird, isn't it?

The film features the actor as a man looking back on a tragic time from his youth with his mother, who is paralyzed by grief over the death of her husband.

Robin Williams co-stars as his best friend, a retarded school janitor. That's a stretch!

Another X-Files movie is still in the works, this one involving, oh you know... U.F.O. stuff.

Some movies are in the works by five different studios based on the traumatic threats placed on the writer who secretly recorded phone conversations in which then-Texas Governor George W. Bush appeared to suggest past illegal drug use.

It's like Hollywood hates Bush or something.

"The Raising of a President," drew on the recordings, in which Bush appears to mull answers to potential campaign-trail questions about marijuana and cocaine use.

That's why I loved Clinton! Bush just shot up on my "Cool-List."

"My decision to release a portion of the tapes has come at a terrible price for my family and has deeply hurt many others. I was foolish and wrong to tape-record Mr. Bush without his permission. I was wrong to play any part of the tapes for my publisher, regardless of the circumstances," the author has said.

420!!!

Not like I'm a big pothead or anything... I don't smoke. I don't like inhaling any kind of smoke really. It really doesn't seem natural, even if what you are smoking is natural.

But if you are running the country and you've had a hard day blowing up small countries, seems to me a great way to unwind would be to light up a big fatty and kick back with some Xbox quality time.

This is my new friend Lacey showing me one of her many talents.

I want to put her in one of my movies so bad.

The word is slowly getting out about me making a new horror film and people are getting excited at what we could pull off.

Subject: Hello
Hey Jerry,

This is Shannon....I'm not sure if I'm reaching the right email address...guess I'll find out. Anyways......when are we going to make the horror movie? By the way, Kristen and Anthony say thanks for the nice things you said about them on your page (they didn't win the "Slipnot" wedding contest though, damn). Well........write us back........oh.......my friends will still run naked. Ttyl.

-Shannon

Shannon is very very hot and has many hot looking and talented actress friends. This movie could be a lot of fun making!

There of course is some bad news:

With all my love of George Lucas and all things Modesto, Rock 96.7 has seen it in their best interest to ignore what their listeners voted for via the ratings and drop their "Rock" format for a more "Britney" sound.

It was fun while it lasted and I will miss all the friends I made there, but you can always listen online and e-mail me.

Subject:
I need you real bad, Jerry!

I really need you to please tell me what happen to 96.7. coming home this morning Britney Spears came on the radio. WTF!!!! My whole day is ruined. Do you know how traumatizing that was to hear that white trash bitch on my rock station...lol!! please help, I need you real bad Jerry!!!!!

Thanks

Dani

Hey Jerry.

What happened to you?

I'm in Modesto, and 96.7 is playing crap!!! The whole Rock 96.7 website is gone, it looks like. I tried searching the local paper, and found nothing. (I know, I know... you guys probably been talking about it!)

Miss you!!!! Can I hear you in Modesto at all?

Carol

But then life goes on...

Subject: thanks for the info on Henry

Jerry,

Thanks for the info on Henry Darger. I had never heard of him until I read your web page. I'm an artist and I always get excited when I find out about things like this. It's great.

By the way, You are a great addition to the Front Row. I listen every morning on my way to work. I work at a prison so I need some laughter before I begin my day. Yer cool, mister!

Thanks again,

Sincerely,

Johnny Burleson

Sofia Coppola gets head from Kirsten Dunst while filming scenes of "Marie-Antoinette", her biopic about the Austrian teen who became queen of France. Coppola, who took home an Oscar last year for best original screenplay for "Lost in Translation", but you may remember my attempts to take our relationship further before phone calls where never returns, numbers changed, restraining orders filed...

Anyway this film is "Marie-Antoinette: The Journey".

Kirsten Dunst will portray the teenage French queen Marie-Antoinette who was beheaded in 1793, during the French Revolution.

A live-action adaptation of "The Transformers, " by Steven Spielberg, which is based on the Hasbro toy line of robot action figures that double as vehicles.

The first generation of Transformers revolved around two groups of robots, one led by Optimus Prime, who believes in tolerance and the sanctity of life, and the other by Megatron, who espouses survival of the fittest and the extermination of biological life.

Expect Tom Cruise, Orlando Bloom, and Ewan McGregor to be involved.

Also, expect toy merchandising...

If you can't wait for "Superman Returns" the movie to come out, you can watched acclaimed Gay Filmmaker and "X-Men" director Bryan Singer give you the low down on filming hot guys in tights bound in wire harnesses and other things while making the new "Superman"movie.

"Superman Returns"

Do these Blue tights make my ass look too big?

The weekend shoots by like a drive by.

I sleep not at all and work comes quick.

Okay...

Maybe I screwed up when I said that I thought Dakota Fanning was Hot a few weeks back...

I was thinking of Famka Jansen when I said it. Both got odd, but cool names.

That may have been wrong, but am I wrong in thinking my niece Callie is kinda Hot?

"Hot" in purely visual terms, not like "Bangable" hot...

Oh forget it!

I give up on you people!

My brother is far uglier than me, so if any of you know a single chick that wants cute kids...

I'm the dude!

Because my brother is taken.

This is Callie and she and I share the same DNA, so it's possible that I could have beautiful babies.

You could be my Natalie Portman and being a Gemini, I could be your Annikin and Vader!

Trailer up and looking cool!

That movie!

I ordered my Wookie costume just in time for Fresno's 123 Degree May summer!

Michael Eisner, the longtime CEO of The Walt Disney Co., will step down a year earlier than expected, handing over the reins to Robert Iger and ending a tumultuous stint atop the entertainment giant.

Do I really care?

No, except I think he's married to that hot piece of ass Willow Bay who is a CNN anchor... Love her!

Just not as much as Christi Paul...

Or Robin Meade...

Erica Hill...

Robots took over the box office with $36.5 million, I think $36.5 million of that was for the new Star Wars trailer.

Quentin Tarantino, director of cult moves "Pulp Fiction" and "Reservoir Dogs," was named Film Icon of the Decade at an awards ceremony in London by more than 12,000 readers of Empire Magazine.

Those Limeys!

Accepting his award, the 41-year-old announced plans to retire from movie directing in 15 years to become a theater manager.

Where he will annoy every customer with his immense knowledge of Black Cinema...

I could die in 15 years!

This is the love of my life, Margot.

She doesn't even know I exist.

She's Aaron's sister, so that would seem to get me an "In" but no.

Her dad loves me, we have the same name and same interests... But no.

No.

She said to me in that sweet sexy voice of hers, "I'd hate to do anything to ruin our friendship."

"Friendship?"

Oh well.

I love her enough to let her go. I want her to be happy. She needs someone that can spend all his money and time on her.

Spread those wonderful wings and fly away from me.

I'm thinking heavily about living alone for the rest of my life without any human contact, so she'd only get in the way of that goal.

I drove back to my Hollywood home. Alone. Empty of furniture and memories. I laid on the floor. No pictures on the walls. All things packed away. Sound bouncing off hard walls. Heartbeat echoes. Stomach growling. Hungry.

Empty.

Alone.

Sleep comes like a blanket from a lover.

Dream and hold me.

Together.

Another drive to my other home in LA brought good times and laughs with friends at a fav late night dinner.

Aaron told me, David, Steve, Eric and his smoking hot new E-Harmony Babe about how the tragedy of experiencing that horrible Tsunami in Thailand, being washed out to sea, almost losing his girlfriend... All falls away with the News that he and his girlfriend are having a "BABY!!!!"

That means Aaron girlfriend, "Sow" is a "Tsunami-Mommy!"

Soon he will head back to be with her and he will be busy trying to figure out where he will live.

I was so shocked when he told me, but I quickly became excited and began laying in bed, unable to sleep, thinking that I too want to have a baby.

I might have to adopt, or hire a surrogate... It looks like I will have to be a single parent, cause unlike Eric Kirby's great E-Harmony experience, their choices for me...

Don't seem to be working...

I must be hideous!

Anybody see "The OC" last night?

"Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith" trailer aired! Yoo Hoo! I'm a friggin' nerd!

Filmmaker George Lucas says his upcoming sixth and final installment in the blockbuster "Star Wars" film franchise is the darkest and most violent yet, and is likely to be the first movie in the series to land a more restrictive rating than PG.

But probably not an X.

"I don't think I would take a 5- or 6-year-old to this," Lucas said in a CBS "60 Minutes" interview set for broadcast on Sunday.

"Revenge of the Sith" will chronicle the transformation of the heroic Anakin Skywalker into the evil Darth Vader as he ventures to a mythical Hell-like planet composed of erupting volcanoes and molten lava.

"We're going to watch him make a pact with the devil," Lucas said in his interview with CBS correspondent Leslie Stahl. " is much more dark ... more emotional. It's much more of a tragedy."

Very similar to my divorce and that time I became part machine...

According to Michael Jackson's accuser, Jackson owned a fullsize C-3PO... A Gay and nude C-3PO!

As a former child star, Rick Schroder successfully managed to make the transition to adult roles, as Detective Danny Sorenson, on "NYPD Blue."

Now a writer, director, producer and entrepreneur, Schroder ultimately carved out his own path, which has led to his first directorial effort, the independently financed "Black Cloud," is a boxing drama set on a Navajo reservation that focuses on a young Native American man named Black Cloud, who dreams of making the U.S. Olympic boxing team.

Rick Schroder financed the film independently with money from Indian tribes and Gambling casinos...

Table Mountain?

Boy, do I have a script for you...

It's about a young Indian boy on a desert planet who joins a rebel alliance to fight an evil empire... Hello?

Oh whatever!

Keanu Reeves has signed on to be Sinbad the Sailor, the legendary character from 'The Arabian Nights' in an upcoming movie set in eighth-century China.

In "The Eighth Voyage of Sinbad," to be directed by Rob Cohen, who made "XXX" Reeves and his shipmates set off to find Aladdin's lamp.

Expect Robin Williams to play the Genie and Reeves to fight stop-motion skeletons and a seven headed Hydra and battle a Cyclops...

Or was that "Jason and the Argonauts?"

Seeing Keanu Heaves photo of him barfing outside his limo, it all makes since now, he's seasick...

Less drama and more Dramamine...

Check out this site for the movie

Realms of the Unreal

Ever heard of Henry Darger? The reclusive Chicago janitor, who died in 1973 at the age of 81 with only three photographs and no close human relationships to anyone here on Earth. He was so private that even the neighbors who knew him best still disagree over how to pronounce Darger's last name.

Darger would go to his dusty studio apartment after Mass and mopping the floors of his Catholic Church to write the longest novel ever know of, the 15,000-page "In the Realms of the Unreal."

He put together collages, illustrations and massive paintings depicting the crazy, vivid, psychosexual religious fantasy that composed the self-taught artist's life's work.

Now they've taken his primitive/innocent style art, derived from children's books, magazine illustrations and newspaper ads Darger rummaged from trash cans and with a small team of animators, have brought part of his massive World to life.

TV cartoon show producer Kara Vallow oversaw this operation.

Dakota Fanning voices, "Realms' " animated sequences and brings to life Darger's fevered fantasy about a child slave rebellion on some parallel world wrought with biblical overtones and apocalyptic violence.

I believe art, his art may have saved his life! No telling how miserable his life would have been without that world-building going on in his cramped apartment and that head of his.

Too bad he's dead and can't see how his work might affect others.

You never know who around you could be using some hidden talent to stay afloat in this crazy world...

The Mailman could be using woodworking to create beautiful gifts and to relieve his daily stress, the waitress that has to endure rude customers, small tips and sexist comments could be writing the next great Romance novel, the Police Officer that has to pull over a teen for no turn signal and fears getting his brains blown out, could be designing a house of the future for his family.

There can be amazing artists all around you, and you, or they might never know it.

The Hallmark Channel has a new version of Jules Verne's "Mysterious Island" starring Kyle MacLachlan with Patrick Stewart playing Capt Nemo.

That should be cool!

Once you play Capt you can always play Capt. Maybe we should send him into handle the troops in Iraq.

A movie about one of my favorite comix is coming out...

"Man-Thing!" You'll never look at that mutant weed you got growing in the same way again.

Sure it's Marvel's version of DC's "Swamp-Thing," but I always thought "Man-Thing" could kick "Swamp-Things" ass...

I once drew a comic called, "Swap-Meat-Thing"... About things that never sold at a swap-meet but kept coming back.

That went nowhere.

Bravo, a channel I once worked for, has picked up "Project Greenlight" and this one has Wes Craven as a guide while one first-time filmmaker tries making a horror film.

This series can be pretty fun. So far the series has been better than the films made...

The commercials running now have Ben Affleck discovering Matt Damon's decapitated head...

Maybe this will help Affleck's decapitated career.

Last night Dan Rather signed Off 'CBS Evening News' by thanking everyone that survived 9-11, the tsunami, Mt Saint Helens and any natural disaster that's ever happened... Courage!

I didn't get choked up at all, no matter how hard he tried...

I can't shed a tear anymore. There have been too many horrible tragedies that have tapped my supply of sadness, like "Star Trek: Enterprise" was canceled!

I got pain I have to deal with...

I wish I had super powers!

Well, at least I have you!

I know you've probably seen this site already, but I found it very funny and even blew iced tea out my nose at one point.

Check it out:

I knew Superman was a dick all along!

Bill Cosby can't shake the doping and groping allegations. The woman at the center of the accusations filed a lawsuit in U.S. District Court, claiming Cosby drugged and sexually assaulted her in January 2004...

Jello and roofy body shots?

Russell Crowe says Osama bin Laden's al-Qaida terror network wanted to kidnap him as part of a "cultural destabilization plot...

It turns out that it was all true!

I thought it was all in his head, like when he thought he was working for a secret government department deciphering mathematical codes...

Oh wait that was that movie "A Beautiful Mind."

"Star Wars" creator George Lucas is receiving a "lifetime-achievement award" next week at ShoWest, an annual convention of theater owners in Las Vegas.

Lucas says now that Star Wars is done he will focus his attention on smaller films.

Smaller films in the 100-200 million dollar range, I'm thinking.

The BBC is planning an ambitious distribution strategy that will let viewers watch its TV programs over the Internet, but found out this week that cutting-edge technology can cut both ways.

One of its most highly anticipated programs, the first new series of the revered sci-fi drama "Doctor Who" in 16 years, leaked out onto the Internet.

Thousands of fans, unwilling or unable to wait for the scheduled broadcast date in three weeks' time, downloaded the show using the popular file-trading software BitTorrent and other file-trading networks.

SciFi fans are so smart!

Don't F' with us!

Everyone knows I love Robots!

Some people even know I love Dinosaurs!

But, man? Combine those two things...?

Japanese scientists have created Robot replicas of a Tyrannosaurus rex and Parasaurolophus, capable of strolling two-thirds of a mile an hour on their own power, while greeting visitors at the World Exposition which opens this month in central Aichi.

Engineers created their own "Jurassic Park," the Expo site is filled with screams from the dinosaurs. The National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology are the mad scientists involved in this...

One robot during the testing phase came alive and rampaged the scientist's parking lot where several cars were destroyed. Leading Hollywood to think of possible storylines involving dinosaur robots that think for themselves and take over the world.

I believe done right, I could make the greatest money maker in film history!

But Hooter's is open and I need to get some food first!

I have two tickets to see Nine Inch Nails in Fresno and was thinking this would be a cool way to meet girls...

You know, girls would send pics and see if they could win a date and dinner and NIN and a night with me!

Not so much luck so far...

I've had offers from chicks to just purchase the ticket from me...

Man, am I a big loser or what?

Shannon Elizabeth, who starred in "American Pie," and husband have decided to split.

Making my midnight yogurt yanking less creepy now...

Quentin Tarantino is considering writing and directing a new version of a "Friday the 13th" horror film. And get this...

It will involve combining "Evil Dead," so Ash will have to fight Jason!

Ahhh, HELL YA!!!

Debra Hill, who co-wrote the horror classic "Halloween" and was a pioneering producer, with films like "The Dead Zone,""The Fog," and "Escape From New York," died according to a family friend. She was 54.

Once I met her at a place I use to eat when I was reading Rick Schmidt's "Filmmaking at Used Car Prices," and she was at the next table holding forth with some young guests. She was telling them how movies are changing because soon everyone would have a chance to make them when the technology was so cheap...

She pointed to me because of the book I was reading (I guess) and said, "That's the kind of guy Old Hollywood has to watch out for..."

I must have had a shocked/funny look on my face because she broke out laughing.

I spent quite a bit of time this weekend in my car.

If you are an avid reader of this page and have ventured back into the past here, you might know that at one time I thought about tricking out my Honda in a way where I could actually live in it.

I was going to have the passenger seat removed and have the roof opened and extended...

Man, what was I thinking?

I am looking to get a cool van and turn it into a rolling billboard advertising ME!

Maybe I could live in it as well...

Where I live now, I have three huge rooms, but find myself hanging in one small room most of the time. I don't know why, but I was looking into moving my bed into the closet area. Seems I could sleep in there so much better.

I think a coffin would be perfect for me to get the sleep I need.

I was reading The New York Times, Arts & Leisure about Tom Zutaut who signed Guns N' Roses 19 years ago to a contract with Geffen Records, where they turned into multiplatinum superstars.

The article was about one of the most highly anticipated albums in the industry, an opus tentatively titled "Chinese Democracy."

The album racked up more than $13 million in production costs, according to Geffen documents, ranking Axel's unfinished masterpiece as probably the most expensive recording never released.

I have friends that use to work at Tower Records and remember when Axel lived in a van in their parking lot!

If you like the look of people sleeping you might like checking out this site:

Sleepy!

One week after a sex video starring Fred Durst began circulating on the Internet, the Limp Bizkit front man has filed a $80 million lawsuit against web sites that posted the footage and stills of the singer banging a former girlfriend.

I quickly removed his footage...

How would you like to win a non-functional cellular phone used in the filming of a porn movie staring, Belladonna?

Her last video was called, “My Ass is Haunted,” who knows where that phone has been with a title like that?

Started to go down to LA last night, but my engine started knocking. I have to drop the car off at the shop...

Probably nothing, but I didn't want to risk it.

I'm all sad now about my lil' baby car. All puny and sick...

I now know how to effectively sexually harass people. I have taken the course provided by the fine folks at work, passed and now have a horrible headache.

I am still thinking of heading to LA again sometime this weekend, so if you need to be sexualized while I am down there...

I now know where I can house my iPod...

I just need some friends help me move.

Been working on producing and directing a new concert film about Manfest!

Lots of work and little time...

gee... Manfest? or...

"MANsquito!"

whatever...

Maybe this is the kind of film I should be making!

I just know that I am an Artist!

This is a self portrait I did today make out of Onion Rings!

I could have sold it for quite a bit if that bastard busboy hadn't grabbed it while I was starting to take another photo!

Wanna make $50,000?

Actor Robert De Niro invited aspiring filmmakers to enter short films they had produced in a new online contest, offering $50,000 to the winner to help finance future movies.

All this courtousy of online retailer Amazon.com Inc. along with Tribeca Film Festival and sponsor American Express Co.

At the Australian MTV Music Awards in Sydney Anna Nicole Smith took the limelight with a "wardrobe malfunction" former Playboy model, skanky bitch, and an award presenter, pulled down her dress to reveal both breasts.

Fox network in trouble with angry blind viewers over their new show, "Blind Justice" because the actor is not really blind...

I want to know can they really be called blind viewers?

And who squealed?

I mean someone must have told them he wasn't blind?

This is Erica! She is so beautiful and funny...

Oh and she's totally hot, too!

She was showing me some of her bikini shots that some photographer took. She was so sexy, but I thought I could take better pics than that...

I just know I could!

I'd even let her bring her hot looking friends over to my state of the art photo studio that I have set up in the corner of my bedroom.

I know what you are thinking...

I just want her to feel safe and comfortable in my space, so I thought if she brought some of her cute friends with her they could help apply oil to her tight body...

I think you need that on a model in photos.

I know her boyfriend could do that too, but I'd hate to trouble him while he's working and cleaning his gun collection and working out lifting weights...

Actually, my place is kind of a mess. I have laundry all over the place. Maybe it isn't such a great time to have the girls over...

Oh well...

There's a list of "naughty" words not allowed on personalized jerseys at the NFL Shop. They were extracted by a reader from a java script list found on the NFL Shop site....

Asswhore and 420 not alowed, but Cokehead was available to one lucky buyer and NFL fan.

Actress Denise Richards has filed for divorce from her actor-husband Charlie Sheen, citing irreconcilable differences, according to court papers. Richards, 34, is six months pregnant with the couple's second child. They also have a daughter, Sam, who will be a year old next week.

Not matter how hot the chick is, there's always one dude that's been there and is tired of that!

A movie about Lindsay Lohan and her fights with her father are in the works for cable...

The actress playing her however was discovered to be 31 years old.

Lindsay Lohan says her father has no right to claim a share of her earnings.

"He didn't do anything for my career except go out and not come home at night," the 18-year-old actress-singer tells W magazine in its April issue, on newsstands. "So I don't think he deserves anything. He doesn't even deserve my respect."

Michael Lohan's saying he wants half of the 15 percent his daughter allegedly gives her mother... a figure that could be $6 million to $7 million a year, his lawyer has said.

Lohan has also said he wants to do a reality TV show that would follow the family through the course of the divorce.

"As sick as it sounds, a reality show might help, actually," Lindsay Lohan told the magazine. "At least then people could get the truth."

Michael Lohan was arrested last month after a fiery car crash in Long Island and was charged with driving while intoxicated.

Lohan, 44, has said his headline-grabbing problems have helped, not hurt his daughter's career.

In the magazine interview, Lindsay Lohan also weighed in on two issues much discussed in the tabloids... her rapid physical maturity and her party-girl reputation.

"I'm young and I only got my boobs, like a year and a half ago, so of course they're going to look good. I love 'em," she said.

Of her "dancing-on-tables" reputation, Lohan said, "I go to clubs and everything, and if I hang out with Paris Hilton, I don't think that's a bad thing. She's a nice girl.

Pics of Lindsay and Paris as well as quicktime videos of the two of them making out have said to have been hacked from Paris's Sidekick...

Okay...

I'm a geek!

Sure.

Say it to my face.

Okay, whatever...

The official "Star Wars" site says a two-minute "Episode III Revenge of the Sith" trailer will debut Thursday, March 10 at 9 p.m. during a broadcast of Fox's "The O.C."

If you're not into "The O.C."c... you'll be able to download the trailer online later that night...

Assuming you're a member of the Hyperspace Fan Club, of course.

Beginning March 11, the trailer will be attached to screenings of the animated film "Robots."

And finally, if you're adamantly against watching television, joining a fan club or seeing a cartoon about robots, you'll be able to view the trailer (for free and with no strings attached) at StarWars.com on March 14.

Or you can just keep your panties on and see the movie when it finally opens like other sane people... "Episode III" premieres May 19.

"Felicity" Keri Russell will star in "Butterfly, a Grimm Love Story." The movie focuses on the Internet-based cannibal movement.

Man, I'd like to eat her...

Cannibalism came into the spotlight a year ago when Armin Meiwes, a German man, was sentenced to eight and a half years in prison for dismembering and eating Bernd Juergen Brandes. Meiwes had advertised online for a cannibal volunteer and Brandes willingly
answered the call.

The movie will be just like that but different, with hot chicks...

The New "King Kong" director Peter Jackson’s production company, is suing New Line Cinema, studio behind Jackson’s "Lord of the Rings" trilogy.

The lawsuit alleges that New Line inaccurately calculated revenues on the trilogy, some studio head in a dark room nude rolling around in money he stole going "Precious, Precious"

That's how they really are...

I know this is a weird picture, but it makes me laugh.

This is my friend Steve, mastermind behind Animation Meat one of the greatest training tools for a person interested in a career in animation with his nephew Evan hamming it up and being silly.

Steve has a piece of chicken hanging out of his mouth, trying to gross up out!

Richard Linklater who pioneered some cool ass animation techniques in the film Waking Life, has intrigued me with a new trailer for A Scanner Darkly, staring Keanu, Winnona, Woody, and Downey. The film is based on the a story by Philip K. Dick.

A Scanner Darkly!

This is so awesome looking!

Cable channel TNT is developing horrorgawd Stephen King's short-story anthology "Nightmares & Dreamscapes" as a miniseries.

The book offers plenty of subjects such as vampires, zombies, an evil toy, man-eating frogs, the burial of a Cadillac, a disembodied finger, and a wicked stepfather.

I remember when that book first became available as an audiobook and I was driving across country listening to one story in the middle of the night when my car broke down in the middle of no where and I had to walk in pitch black to a truckstop alone...

Boy, that was rough.