Sometimes it really feels like Big Brother is looking down on me. I'm getting afraid to say anything!

The FCC had a hold over the Oscars Comedian Robin Williams said it all when he walked on stage with a piece of white tape over his mouth.

Williams was to have performed a song lampooning conservative critic James C. Dobson, whose group had criticized cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants for appearing in a video it branded "pro-homosexual."

He was going to do it by concentrating on the dark underside of other cartoon characters, asking, for example whether Casper the Friendly Ghost wore that white sheet as a member of the Ku Klux Klan.

A respectable showing the Oscars but hardly the ratings knockout ABC had hoped for, first figures showed on Monday that they were beaten by an infomercial on MSNBC for Windsor Pilates hosted by Daisy Fuentes.

FCC Says "Saving Private Ryan" Is Not Indecent, however says "Shaving Ryan's Privates" very indecent...

In fact, I'll be fined just for saying that!

I was in LA for some Oscar parties and this one just happened to be at Hooters in Burbank!

Who needs the Vanity Fair Party when you got Hooters Onion Rings?

That's like Crack!

New version of 'Passion' to be shown in U.K. this one with a more Happy Hollywood ending.

Stephen King, master of surprise and strange twists, is taking his writing in a new direction: pulp fiction.

The story: A man is found dead on an island off the coast of Maine. A local newspaperman and graduate student in forensics try to identify the man. The more they learn, the more baffling the mystery becomes.

"The Colorado Kid," a paperback with a lurid, 1940s-style cover featuring a languid brunette (painted by Glen Orbik of Batman and Superman fame), comes out in October from publisher Hard Case Crime.

Imprint of Dorchester and Leisure books where three sharp eyed listeners have pointed out that two books are dedicated to me by the authors!

Now if only I could write a book, I would have three books dedicated to me. Because I will be the First person I thank!

E! to Re-Enact Jackson Trial Highlights using sock puppets

Producer Robert Evans and comic-book icon Stan Lee are teaming up to bring a brand-new superhero to the big screen.

"Foreverman".

The producers declined to divulge details other than to say the superhero will have all the problems of saving the world as well as the problems of dealing with everyday life.

Sounds like a lot of other comix...

"Hellboy" writer Peter Briggs has been hired to write the screenplay for Paramount Pictures in collaboration with Lee.

Expect Chris Rock's fav actor, Jude Law to star.

I know this is wrong, but this chick's crack was showing and I couldn't resist not only taking a picture of it, but also tossing quarters down in there.

If I had a quarter for every...

I could have saved Star Trek!

Three people have pledged $3 million toward salvaging the show Enterprise, while fan site TrekUnited.com has raised $49,410.

While I love this show... AIDS research could use some help too!

According to fan forums such as TrekUnited.com and SaveEnterprise.com, the L.A. rally drew the most participants, with an estimated 500.

The rumor is the creator of "Babylon 5" has created another series in the Trek lore that has a solid five year arc...

Until then there's always the great "Battlestar Galactica"....

Martin Scorsese loses for a Fifth time at Oscars...

Well...

My favorite people never won an Oscar. People like Rudy Ray Moore, David Caradine, Don the Dragon Wilson...

Never won an Oscar!

You’ll have the chance to bid on some of the property of director Tim Burton and actress Lisa Marie, as the former couple’s stuff hits the (court-ordered?) estate sale circuit.

Own a piece of some sad Hollywood heartbreak!

All items sure to be dark and goth-like...

http://fred.pimped.org/

Fred Durst's supposedly “hacked” Sidekick sex tape is trying to get some of the press from Paris Hilton

Ewwwwww....

He's having unprotected sex...

I am worried...

For the chick!

I know I talk about "Battlestar Galactica," but man, I love that show!

I've been dreaming of this Cylon chick a lot...

I'm so lonely...

The widow of journalist Hunter S. Thompson said her husband killed himself while the two were talking on the phone.

"I was on the phone with him, he set the receiver down and he did it. I heard the clicking of the gun," Anita Thompson said her husband had asked her to come home from a health club so they could work on his weekly ESPN column, but instead of saying goodbye, he set the telephone down and shot himself.

She heard a loud, muffled noise, but didn't know what had happened. "I was waiting for him to get back on the phone," she said.

His son, daughter-in-law and 6-year-old grandson were in the house when the shooting occurred.

Loser!

Anybody that would do that so a baby could easily find the bloody mess is horrible!

Ben Stiller is going to be a parent himself.... again.

Stiller's wife, actress Christine Taylor, is pregnant with the couple's second child and is expecting sometime this summer,

I bet the baby will look just like Owen Wilson...

Sharon Stone says her character will have a bisexual relationship in the upcoming film "Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction."

"There is lesbian love," Stone said in an interview "We're testing for her now."

Sources say this will be a ground breaking scene because they are thinking of casting the new "Herbie the Love Bug"'s upcoming star Lindsay Lohan...

The BBC being the sneaky limeys they are got a few "Die Hard 4" juice out of Bruce Willis, including the film's official title.

"'Die Hard 4.0' is being written as we speak, and if all goes well we'll be shooting it in Autumn on the east coast of the United States," Willis says.

I'm guessing it involves internet warfare and Willis mugging for the camera.

Keanu Heaves... checkout Defamer.com if you feel the need to see Keanu throwing up outside his limo...

Saving his vomit in a paper cup for selling on ebay fans climbed all over each other in the street fighting for the puddle of pre-chewed Keanu food.

This is one of my favorite magazines!

I thought that my friend Aaron would appreciate the Special Thai Cinema Issue because now he's making Thai films!

I got to see a bit of the documentary he's making on the film he is Staring in and Producing.

How funny would it be if the documentary is a bigger hit that the film it's about?

Aaron use to be next door neighbors with Christian Slater who just split from his hot piece of ass Wife.

Hunter Thompson's Ashes May Be Shot From Cannon

This Saturday the Golden Raspberry Awards, better known as the Razzies, will deliver their 25th annual all things bad in Hollywood. "Catwoman," "Alexander" and "Surviving Christmas" among contenders for 2004's worst picture.

Actor Connery Sued for $30 Million by Neighbor

Tarantino adding more blood and many pop culture references to 'CSI' episode! 

Ozzy's Son Has $382,000 of Gems Stolen

"Top Ten Best Actors of Our Generation." GQ's list is Gael Garcia Bernal, Jim Carrey, GQ also picked Johnny Depp, Clive Owen, Don Cheadle, Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe, Nicolas Cage, Benicio Del Toro and John C. Reilly. Robert Blake not on the list!

Hilton Feels Horrible After Cell Mishap offers sex to all involved! 

Simone Simon, a French actress who made a name for herself in Hollywood in the 1930s, has died in Paris aged 93, Best known for her starring roles in the 1942 horror film "The Cat People."

Natalie Portman, nominated for a best supporting actress award at this month's Academy Awards stirred a scandal over a kissing scene by
Jerusalem's Wailing Wall... the most sacred spot in Judaism.

The Israeli-born 23-year-old, who may be awarded a golden statuette next Sunday for her role in the film "Closer," was on location in Jerusalem for the shooting of "Free Zone" an Israeli-made film.

Jews very upset, however Blacks still all good with Jar Jar Binks...

Weird.

This Francine!

She is so funny and sweet. But if you ask me, she's just plain silly.

I've gotten so many e-mails lately from dudes asking me if I really know all these girls that I post on my page?

Of course!

What would be the point of posting them if I didn't really know them?

Do I know them intimately?

Well... No

Not yet anyway, but soon I'm guessing, I won't be any closer!

Michael Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, and now Jessica Simpson... Flu season's in full swing, or these freaks have something to hide.

Simpson, 24, has become the third Star in a week, after Jackson and Lopez, apparently to be waylaid by a bug.

The singer, usually fending off rumors about her marriage to Newlyweds costar Nick Lachey, was fending off a stomach virus that left her dehydrated and seeking hospital treatment, however her breast are still in stable position.

Korn guitarist Brian "Head" Welch has parted ways with the band, citing a recent religious awakening. A replacement will be needed but they say they are not searching yet.

This can suck...

Ever date a really hot and nasty chick then she finds Jesus and gets all
stupid and dull?

I think we should start a contest to find a new Korn guitarist...

Call it "Be a Korn Star!"

Or not...

Looks like Star Trek may have a better future on cable...

Secret talks are in the works to put Enterprise in a space where more shows could be produced without censors or rating worries.

Who wouldn't want to see Jolene Blaylok shave her fuzzy tribble?

Satanism is alive and well in Hollywood as word spreads about celebrities worshiping and even offering sacrifices to the big goat boy...

Some very attractive actresses have been outed and sources say there is a stolen video making the rounds showing at least three top rated female tv series stars and one female TV co-anchor for a major market morning News show nude, in an orgy of lesbian sex and covered with what is believed to be pigs blood.

The church cult is gaining popularity with actresses because of their age defying spa treatment...

Lawsuits are in the works and this is just the beginning!

This is a tree outside my house. It is so beautiful today!

We had such a hail storm, but it was exciting. I thought we might have a tornado too cause it was so dark and loud outside.

I doubt this is tornado alley here, but with the way the weather is changing... who knows?

I must be getting old because I'm getting fascinated by weather. It seems all the old people I know talk about it all the time. So do I now.

Hunter S. Thompson, the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas author whose drug- and alcohol-fueled diatribes pioneered gonzo journalism and made him a counterculture hero, committed suicide at his Colorado
home Sunday night.

He was 67

Hollywood is scrambling already to pick his bones for possible film projects. Johnny Depp has made it clear he had wanted to play him again in another film as has Bill Murray who played Thompson in "Where the Buffalo Roam."

While sad, no one that was a fan or even knew him was really all that shocked that it was by a gun at his own hand. But he will be missed.

Jessica Alba is through with actors and sleeping around, she tells Channel 5 in Cincinnati.

Jessica Alba Commits Career Suicide

She's in the new, "The Fantastic Four!" but I bet she'd be fantastic on all fours!

Sandra Dee, once Hollywood's ideal blonde teen star, the original Gidget, and the Jessica Alba of her day died. She was 63. You might know her from her marriage to the late singer Bobby Darin...

okay maybe not.

You might have seen the movie by by Kevin Spacey called, "Beyond the Sea," in which Kate Bosworth played Dee.

Okay maybe you didn't...

Anyway she's dead....

On a recent Oprah show a 60 something woman who looked no older than a 50 something woman explain her beauty secret... "I use vaginal cream on my face and preparation H under my eyes everyday for the past 20 years!"

As stupid as that sounds, I went to Vons and they were sold out...

I actually wanted to try it.

I figured I'd use the vaginal creme... and it'd be like "Field of Dreams,"if use use it Vagina will come to me.

Have you opened your President's Day Presents yet?

I like to open mine the day before.

Ever since I was a kid, I can't sleep the night before President's Day.

All those gifts under the Cherry Tree!

Hope you get all that you want and more!

Sometimes it's nice to have someone to share all the gifts life brings you. Even if the gift is not for you, it's good to have someone around that might be a better fit for the gift.

I use to be married, am now divorced, and have spent these last few years thinking about what I want out of life and what I have to offer. I haven't dated much, because I wanted to enjoy, grow and learn from my time alone.

Now, that I'm successful and have great career and am doing things on the side that I've always wanted to do, I miss hanging out and sharing with someone.

Soon I will be finishing a movie I've been working on since last year and I'm starting a new concert film. It would be great to have a good friend to bounce ideas off of and ride along with me as I go back and forth between here and LA.

I guess I'm looking for a Star to perform in the movie of my life.

I have many actor friends, but I'm looking for someone to be real and a partner in this show.

My new friends are getting married at a Slipnot concert that's coming up! I very excited for them! They are so cute and sweet, I just know it will work out for them.

I remember when I was directing my first concert film, "Angry Blue Planet" with Pearl Jam, Bjork, Dramarama, and others. The lead singer of Dramarama in the intor to "Anything, Anything," just blurted out, "This is for Jerry Lentz and his lovely lady!"

We were dating at the time, but by the next day the story was everywhere that I had proposed to her at the concert.

I hadn't, but thanks to John Easdale of Dramarama, everyone thought we were hitched. That was some pressure, cause we didn't get married till a few more years later.

So concert marrages are good for at least Five years!

Then at one Lollapalooza concert I was onstage introducing friend and hero Henry Rollins when he ran out and carried me backstage... Picked me up like I was a lil' girl! He's superhuman!

Anyway, people thought we were an item...

I think that relationship would have lasted longer, but that's all in the past and who the hell can tell?

I was thinking of the perfect house for me to own when the big flood hits!

Jerry's new house!

Buy it for me!!!

The trip to LA was scary, dark, dangerous, wet, and scary... Oh I said that already. Well, it was...

Thank Gawd for three day weekends!

Driving at night gives me time to dream and think and listen to static filled AM radio.

I thought about a lot of things. Things I want to do with my life in Fresno. Things I want to do with my life still in LA. Things I want to do with my life on the road in between.

I still think I'd like to open a cool ass strip club that plays really great music with hip DJ's and great house music and maybe even live bands... Oh and sexy girls too! Can't forget them!

I would hook the club up to the web and have web cams running 24/7! Or just when we were open...

Still, I don't want a sleazy truck-stop kinda club. I want one that fathers would be proud of having their daughters shaking their nude asses in!

I saw this News item and it gave me the perfect idea!

Strip Club Artfully Slips by Anti-Nudity Law

BOISE, Idaho - A strip club in Boise, Idaho
has found an artful way to prance past a city law that
prohibits full nudity.

On what it calls Art Club Nights, the Erotic City
strip club charges customers $15 for a sketch pad,
pencil, and a chance to see completely naked women
dancers.

In 2001 the Boise City Council passed an ordinance
banning total nudity in public unless it had "serious
artistic merit" -- an exemption meant to apply to
plays, dance performances and art classes.

"We have a lot of people drawing some very good
pictures," said Erotic City owner Chris Teague, who
has posted many of the drawings around the club.

Teague said he got the idea when a customer asked if
he could get in for free to sketch the dancers.
Realizing that "art classes" were exempt from the law,
Teague decided to bill Mondays and Tuesdays as art
nights, and let the dancers go without their G-strings
and pasties.

In the two months since they began, Art Club Nights
have drawn full crowds of 60 people but no police
citations, he said.
...................

I saw a rainbow today in Fresno!

I wonder if there's pot at the end of that rainbow?

I was down because I had to leave to go to LA and with all the rain, I was worried that I might be stuck in another mudslide, or even snow.

But seeing this beautiful sight just outside of Hooters gave me the feeling that something wonderful would happen!

It didn't. Well, not yet, but I just know it will soon!

Will Smith is developing the superhero drama, "Tonight He Comes."

The story tells the tale of a depressed, bored superhero who drinks, smokes and has one-night stands. He develops a newfound purpose in life when he is drawn to a married woman.

I have an old porn movie called "Tonight He Comes," can't be the same one can it?

Satu Rautaharju who has appeared on such shows as "One Tree Hill" and "Dawson's Creek" is the new Wonder Woman... Beating out Charisma Carpenter...

Man, would I like to see them beating, fighting, wrestling, and bumping donuts to win that role!

A new full trailer for "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy," is available for viewing on Amazon.com...

To those that have never read this... one of the greatest book series of all time...

It won't mean much, but to those of us who have...

This is very exciting news!

Speaking of hair under the arms, Canadian Alanis Morissette is now an American citizen.

The 30-year-old, (right) singer was among some 4,500 people who
took the citizenship oath during a ceremony last week at the Los Angeles Convention Center.

These Canadians come down here take our jobs, steal our women, play their stupid Canadian music...

When are we gonna close these borders?

"I, Robot," "Dark City" and "The Crow," director Alex Proyas is attached to shoot the supernatural thriller "Knowing."

The project is the story of a man who unearths a 1950s time capsule with children's drawings predicting the future. One set of drawings depicts horrible events that already have come true, but one of the events has not occurred, and the man sets out to prevent it from happening.

That horrifying event is Micheal Jackson gets over his flu-like symptoms and being found Innocent.

This is my friend Steve showing me how we alone with a good Mac can, dare I say, "Rule the World!"

I've been working on a TV series proposal that Steve and some animator friends will produce the FX and animation for...

It will be cool, silly, stupid and almost watchable!

Cosby Cleared of Groping

That's what the Headline said, and then I knew that that would be the name of my new band!

But we all know he did it...

A Taiwan porn film was inserted into the competition of the Berlin film festival in one of the most explicit and challenging contenders for the
coveted Golden Bear Award in recent memory.

"The Wayward Cloud" the story of a budding pornography star who reconnects with an old love whom he knew from his stint as a watch vendor at a Taipei railway station.

The movie is already such a huge hit that Hollywood is bidding for the rights to remake it with evil American actors. Expect Tom Cruise for this story.

Keenu Reeves who's "Constantine" is doing well in the buzz is said to have studied with various Exorcists for his role, so much so that while vacationing in the Voodoo culture of Haiti, he performed an emergency
exorcism on a hotel maid that was supposedly possessed by an ancient demon.

There are Stars out there doing good work.

Jenna Elfman feels comfortable enough telling the press about her struggle to rid the Earth of Alien parasites.

Seriously. No joke.

Oscar-nominated movie star Natalie Portman, nominated for a best supporting actress award, will present one of the golden statuettes at this month's Academy Awards.

Not that that's all that interesting, but am I wrong?... is this lil' bitch hot or what? Imagine being the lucky guy that gets to soil Padme Amidala?

After "Garden State" I wondered where's my own Natalie Portman? Isn't there one for me?

Fresno Goth Scene!
Everyone was beautiful, cool, smart, sexy and pale.

I hope to hang with them more if they'll have me. I think they liked me, but how the hell can you tell when everyone stares blankly at you with the look of glorious death?

Brad Pitt is attached to star in "Chad Schmidt," a comedy that blurs the line between reality and fantasy.

"Schmidt" centers on a talented young actor who moves to Los Angeles in the 1980s to pursue his dream of movie stardom. The twist is that he bears a peculiarly strong resemblance to another up-and-coming actor named Brad Pitt.

Columbia bought the script for more than $1 million.

On of my fav tv shows was "The Time Tunnel," well looks like George Clooney and Brad Pitt are in the very early stages of bringing that to the big screen. The script involves Clooney and Pitt being lost in time
and chasing each other while destroying events in the present that would help save them.

This version will be twisted and weird.

With the Oscars on the way many fashion designers are scrambling to offer stars free clothes to get exposure for their clothes.

But one designer has created a dress made with Military tested nanotechnology that changes length, color and at one point becomes invisible, or at least
see through... perfect for Tara Reid or Janet Jackson.

Many stars are fighting for the right to wear this dress.

Hollywood crazy for the movie "Saw"... a sequel in the works... possibly many sequels.

One involves a story about the making of the movie Saw itself and how a group of filmmakers set out to interview the actually killer.

Many celebrates are up for cameos including one you wouldn't think of for a Saw sequel...

Steve Martin is a possible choice to play a film producer who first encounters the jigsaw killer and wants to bring his story to the screen.

Expect his cameo to be serious and end quickly early on...

This is just one of my friend Stacey's tattoos.

She has quite a few.

I always believed that girls with tats are easy. Still believe that...

If a chick has piercing and tattoos, chances are she's completely bangable.

Just usually not with me.

I've seen old women with tattoos and it's not pretty on old loose skin.

Still, I'd bang a hot tattooed girl if she was wearing a removable tattoo, or a decal, racing stripe, paint, ink stain from changing toner in the office copier...

Hell, any girl that would want me is pretty cool in my book!

Rachel: hope your having a good day!
Jerry: Happy VD!
Jerry: I mean Valentine's Day....
Rachel: happy vd to you too, but that was two days ago... Late dumbass!
Jerry: So I had several meetings about making more music videos last couple of days and that's thrown my calendar off.
Jerry: Hope all is well with you!
Rachel: Oh really
Rachel: I hope everything is ok with you and your impending jail time
Jerry: it's all weird in broadcasting with the FCC, or is it the FFA?
Rachel: if you need an alibi let me know
Jerry: I might call you to bail me out
Jerry: my phone is ringing again...should I answer it?
Rachel: i wouldn't
Rachel: mines ringing too
Jerry: they hung up and didn't leave a message
Jerry: it's ringing again
Jerry: oh well... nother hangup
Rachel: someones watching you
Rachel: some hot chick is out in the bushes watching you
Jerry: there's a car parked outside with no plates and a guy reading a magazine in it
Rachel: she's in the car waiting for you
Jerry: he's on a cellphone
Rachel: he's calling you
Jerry: the phone again
Rachel: do you think he is falling for you
Jerry: wonder if he's the one callin
Rachel: maybe
Rachel: it's that stripper i sent over to your house.
Jerry: he's looking up here
Rachel: don't answer
Jerry: he's walking up the steps!
Rachel: be careful
Jerry: he's standing at the door
Rachel: are you going to answer
Jerry: he's looking at a little notebook
Rachel: uh oh
Jerry: he hasn't knocked yet
Rachel: making sure he has the correct address
Jerry: oh my god...
Rachel: maybe i sent a male stripper by mistake
Jerry: he's trying the knob!!!
Rachel: he's persistent
Jerry: I forgot to lock the DOOR!
Rachel: are you pullin my chain
Jerry: I'm hiding behind my counter typing softly
Jerry: the door is opening slowly
Jerry: he's in the room
Rachel: it's me in a disguise
Rachel: is he cute
Jerry: i cant see him
Jerry: he has shinny black shoes
Rachel: yep it's the male stripper i sent
Jerry: "Hello?" he's called out
Rachel: are you going to answer
Jerry: I wish I had a weapon, but I didn't pack any knives
Jerry: he's now in the back room
Rachel: run out of the door
Jerry: hes walking back over here
Jerry: I think he hears me typing this
Rachel: can he see you
Jerry: no
Rachel: well stop typing
Jerry: how can i tell you whats happening
Rachel: if you don't want to get caught
Jerry: oh no he's bending down and looking at
Jerry: oh no
Rachel: you big wang
Jerry: oh no
Rachel: your
Jerry: he's got a gun
Jerry: no
Jerry: itsa
Rachel: its a what
Jerry: Walki-Talki
Rachel: security guard
Jerry: no
Jerry: Government
Jerry: FBI, CIA, CSI:Fresno
Jerry: okay he's gone
Jerry: wheeeewoo!
Rachel: you scared me you big boob
Jerry: I wet myself
Rachel: good wet or bad wet
Jerry: eeeeww
Jerry: now I must shower
Rachel: take your web cam in there
Jerry: have a great night and Happy V'Day!
Rachel: Shut up, Freak!

Working on setting my Acting Workshop here in Fresno.

Here's one young model and actress who I believe will be huge in my films!

Been wanting to have an Oscar Party, got chips and dip, booze and ice, just need players to attend to win prizes for correct picks.

The producer of the Oscars said he was not concerned by comments from first-time host Chris Rock that belittled the event.

Chris Rock called the notion of giving awards for art "idiotic" and said he has never cared for the Academy Awards, which he likened to a "fashion show." He said the only time he watched was when black actors were nominated.

"What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one," Rock was quoted as saying.

This will be the show to watch...

Lindsay Lohan has a new doll made in her image by Mattel. It looks like her when she's not drunk. It's kinda cross between a Barbie and those Bratz dolls, but not as fullsize or anatomically correct as a Real Doll.

Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell two of many stars resurrecting TV shows for the big screen. Foxx and Farrell will star in a movie version of the cop series "Miami Vice,"

Looks like Harrison Ford, Hillary Duff, and Dakota Fanning are in talks about starring in the big screen version of, "Land of the Lost"...

Canseco now Claims He Did Steroids With Arnold Schwarzenegger... Corey Feldman in a police interview says Canseco never told him he was shooting him up steroids, he thought it was just heroin.

A new Reality Show Hunts for Next Janis Joplin, but without the drug overdose, but how funny would it be if they were...?

This is the smallest snail I've ever seen and this is my quarter it's crawling across.

I found this on a sidewalk and had to take a pic. It's so small the lens couldn't focus. Many bystandards thought I was insane all hunched over on the sidewalk in the street in public...

Whatever!

Man, the weekend just shot by...

Funny how time moves when you are doing fun things, yet when something boring or stressful is going on it just stands still.

Like a snail...

I can't believe how fast I'm growing old.

I can stand in front of my bathroom mirror and actually see my stubble growing.

I need more stressful and boring things to slow me down so I can stay young and beautiful looking.

Shut up!

"Friends" actor Matthew Perry is back home after a brief hospital stay due to a bad reaction to prescription medicine.

He had previously been treated for alcohol and prescription drug addiction.

But I'm not saying that has anything to do with it...

I use to be younger than him in his bios, but now he's miraculously become younger than me.

Same with Trent Reznor. When we use to hang out, he was older by a couple of years, but now...

Why would he have to lie?

Who cares, but stupid people?

Just in time for Valentine's Day, Will Smith spread the love at the weekend box office as "Hitch" took the No. 1 slot with a record opening for a romantic comedy. The film sold $45.3 million worth of tickets in the three days.

In it Will Smith plays Alfred Hitchcock when he was thin and black.

Christina Aguilera has got engaged to her longtime boyfriend, Jordan Bratman, he proposed to the 24-year-old three-time Grammy award winner while on vacation, I give it three weeks...

Playwright Arthur Miller, who wrote "Death of a Salesman" and many works that spoke for the common man, has died. He was 89, the reason I mention it is because he banged Marilin Monroe and that would be like banging Pam Anderson today, or some other chick ripping her off.

Ray Charles wins big at the Grammys and like a stuck up star didn't show up at the awards to except.

Julia Roberts twin Babies' may have been conjoined and then separated in an secret emergency operation sources say.

How weird is that? America's Sweetheart birthing freaks...

Yet because of Hollywood peer pressure, must conform to others and get them plastic surgery.

That can't be true!

This is Ken Curtis!

Well a statue of him anyway. He played, "Fetus" on "Gunsmoke" and I always liked him and always believed his performances.

He was in radio, TV, movies... The guy worked a lot.

This statue of him is in a place I visited today called, Oldtown Clovis.

Or maybe it's just Clovis, but in the old town part...

Whatever.

Actually, come to think of it, I think his name was, "Festus," not "Fetus."

I guess he grew up there.

I had fun walking around antique stores, thrift stores, old book stores... And other kind of stores.

In one store there were three old cute ladies who each had the same name of, "Joanne." How funny is that?

I would love to live in some cool space up above a retail store in this old town. How cool would it be to own an old building, live upstairs and rent out the space below, or have your own store?

I would love to run an old movie theatre, show movies that I like, but no one would go see, and live upstairs.

How could I afford that?

If I'm not making money at the theatre...

Maybe I could also own a strip club and with the extra money I make there I could show cool movies at the other place.

I like old movie theatres, but with a 500 channel world and Netflix and downloadable movies... Who's gonna wanna come see movies with me?

Okay, maybe with all the money I make from the strip club, I could just have a really tricked out home theatre system and invite all my friends over to watch!

Now I just need to figure out how to make friends...

Today is Wingbowl Day!

It's sad... Cause I know soon it will be over and just a memory and some videotape.

Oh well, must push on...

Valentine's Day is on the way and must find someone to bang...

But do I really?

Wouldn't that be just what they'd expect?

Maybe I need to finally take care of myself. Do something good for old Jerry!

Like what?

Well, I could go spend some money on things I don't need that will entertain me momentarily and soon be forgotten.

I could finish writing that book I started... The one about that guy who does that thing with that chick and then that other thing happens... Oh well, I'll get to it sometime.

I could redecorate my place...

Nah...

Maybe I'll drive around the area and try to learn about the new place I live. Meet new people. make friends. See new places to hang out and have fun.

Or I could just hang with friends at Wingbowl, watch people shove spicy chicken in their mouths, and try not to get depressed that soon it will all be over.

Finally a book about the Front Row!

Movie stars write back to their critics sometimes...

Rob Schneider responded in print to critical barbs with a paid ad in Daily Variety. Owen Wilson's appeared in the letters section of the latest issue of New Yorker magazine.

I didn't read either one and don't even care and wonder why I even mentioned it...

Sorry.

John Leguizamo thinks the black version of "The Honeymooners" is going to work.

Why not with a Black "Kojack" on the way?

Leguizamo said the only way a remake of the classic TV series can work is with black actors in the lead,that way, audiences really can't compare the new version with the 1955-56 sitcom, starring Jackie Gleason and Art Carney as scheming Brooklyn
neighbors Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton.

"You couldn't do a white remake of 'The Honeymooners.' It wouldn't make sense," he said. "You're not going to be better than Jackie Gleason and Art Carney. You're not. You're going to fail. Miserably."

Cedric the Entertainer as Ralph and Mike Epps as Ed. Gabrielle Union and Regina Hall play their long-suffering wives, Alice and Trixie.

An all Black version of "The Color Purple" is also in the works.

So how is Fezz Wilmer Valderrama dealing with his breakup with "Mean Girls" star Lindsay Lohan?

Valderrama told "Access Hollywood" that he's doing just fine.

After the cuts to his wrists healed the 25-year-old actor crawled back into his fetal position that he has come to know well since the breakup.

Lohan and Valderrama announced in November that they had ended their relationship. Dude! There's more tail waiting for you out there! Buck up, Buckaroo!

Marcia Cross is trying hard to make it clear that while she's not gay. The "Desperate Housewives" star said she wasn't a lesbian after "The View" co-host Barbara Walters questioned her on rumors regarding her sexuality.

"Well, it was very odd," said Cross. "I just assumed this is what comes of being 42 and single. I don't know if they just needed to find a reason why I wasn't married."

I kind of find her hot. Hot in that Gena Gershon/Lipstick Lesbian way.

Mel Gibson has trimmed five to six minutes of violent scenes from his The Passion of the Christ for an edit called "Circumcise Me" will go out on 500-750 screens by Newmarket Films beginning March 11.

And a violent anime style version of the "Passion" is in the works.

SciFi Channel orders new episodes of "Battlestar Galactica"... Now that "Enterprise" is over I can now devote all my free time I could have used meeting girls and leading a fulfilling life to watching more "Galactica."

Clint seems so cool even now!

He always had the right thing to say. Every movie had a catch phrase. He was so cool in that movie where he was a DJ and that groopie tried to kill him.

I wonder if groopies tried killing their fav Dj's before that movie? Or do they use it now as a training film?

Life is not so simple anymore for Nicole Richie. Her Fox reality show, "The Simple Life," is still going strong and everything looks up for her, but then why is she throwing it all away and getting engaged to her boyfriend of one year, disc jockey Adam Goldstein, whose professional name is DJ AM?

I sadly give this marrage about as much time as the next song he's playing to fade out.

Sarah Jessica Parker has been a fashion icon for many young Gay men and women. Now the "Square Pegs" and "Sex and the City" star is attempting to make your olfactory sensors just as sick of her as your auditory and visual senses are.

A perfume has been synthizied by taking samples of her sweat gland and other scents her body produces and creating a juice that will make any tubby and sloppy chick feel thin, fashionable and horsy faced.

National Lampoon Inc. is challenging film release cliches by releasing "National Lampoon's Blackball" in theaters on Friday and on DVD four days later. it appears National Lampoon's four-day turnaround is the
fastest, yet.

"Clearly, we are ahead of the curve in emerging distribution platforms," said the executive vicepresident of National Lampoon.

I beat them... I already downloaded it and burned a copy. It blows!

A painting of naked and pregnant supermodel Kate Moss by one of Britain's greatest living artists, Lucian Freud, is expected to fetch up to 3.5 million pounds when it goes under the hammer today.

The painting, "Naked Portrait 2002," has never been exhibited in public before.

I lived in England for about a year till I ran out of money so I can tell you 3.5 million pounds is at least a couple of hundred bucks...

I guess she's still hot even when she's all knocked up...

Ever since my friend fell in love with a Thai girl while making a movie in Thailand, I too have wanted to fall in love like that, but...

Without washing out to sea in a Tsunami like they did.

This is my new Thai friend, Kwaune. I hope that's how it's spelled.

It's sounds like that thing Cuba Gooding says to Tom Cruise' Jerry Maguire, "Some want the coin, I want the Kwaune!"

Somebody got the coin!

She is very much attached to a wealthy Banker, so don't get any ideas, she's just trying to hook me up with her Thai friends. She likes horror movies too! Thai people love horror movies! Go over there and you'll find that to be the case.

Kwaune has ghosts in her house and has seen some scary things in her life.

Still she seems so happy all the time.

I rarely see ghosts and I feel sad so much of the time. Maybe I need to see more ghosts...

Some people think that ghosts are scary. And I guess the ones that try and scare you to death are... But I find something hopeful about them. I guess it might mean there's a life after death.

Though, what kinda life can it be when you think people are moving into your house and as a ghost you can't to jack about it?

All you can do is speak in a gravelly whisper, "Get Out!!!"

Got an e-mail from a filmmaker friend of mine who just as I moved away from LA (Though I still am paying rent for a place there...) he moved to LA...

He's showing a double feature of films he's made plus trailers for others at Cinespace where my friend the hot and sweet actress Courtney works.

Cinespace is located at:
6356 Hollywood Blvd., 2nd level
Hollywood, CA 90028

I wish I could be there, cause it sounds like it's going to be a blast!

Eric Spudic is his name and he is so aggressive in accomplishing his goal to be in over 2000 movies regardless of their quality.

Eric Spudic's Official Website

He's a cool and funny guy and you should seek out his work, because he is definitely a guy to watch.

Makes me want to work harder at getting my films out there. Even though I'm a Netflix guy I went into a Blockbuster last night to peruse the New Releases. It's easier to see what I want to see then go home and rent them from Netflix, but usually I forget the movie before I get home.

While at Blockbuster I counted over 14 movies that I had worked on in some capacity. That's always fun!

Soon I hope to have my movies that I've directed in all the local video stores, cause that will be a real buzz.

I really would like to have fans of the radio show show up to screenings and even partake in the acting of these future films. That could be a total blast!

I grew up watching the "Our Gang" kids putting on shows in the barn and I think Fresno and the surrounding area have plenty of barns for me to shoot in...

As you can see, I love getting girls to dance in a Chorus Line.

Maybe soon I'll find my own Darla to act with...

Back in Fresno and this is the Welcome I get from a Hooters girl...

She is just showing me how crooked her finger is... I swear that's what she's doing. She also sweared that's what she was doing.

Back in Fresno indeed...

...and I'm glad to be back in my own bed.

Nothing like your own bed. Even if it's a old futon you got for free when a neighbor moved out and didn't want to pack it because it was old and stinky, but felt you might want it and let you haul it out of his place, so he didn't have to exert any effort...

I need a new bed.

Still it feels good to sleep on it. And sleep on it I do...

There have been a few times were I fell asleep on the Inversion Table. That can't be good for you to fall asleep upside down.

When Aaron was here I couldn't wait for him to try it. Of course it wasn't balanced for his height and weight so I had to push him upside down after strapping him in...

It was funny... His shirt fell up and his belly showed and money fell out of his pockets, wallet dropped to the floor, his head swelled up, eyes popped out...

Fantastic!

I swear as soon as I get a girl over and strap her it...

I'll be arrested... I just know it!

This is me in front of SBC Park in SF. I believe it use to be Candlestick Park, I may be wrong about that. Also there is a container that you might be able to see below me that says, "Pods" on it. I find that funny as when I think of "Pods" I think of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."

I usually think of the Phil Kaufman version made in SF, but I also think of the daddy made in Sierra Madre where my friend Taylor has his store Creature Feature. In some little shops there you can find signs that say, "No Pods Allowed."

Baseball is something I use to play, but never with my dad. It's a great sport for fathers and sons to play, to get to know one another, to break the tension, to work up an appetite, to bond.

Hanging out with Aaron and his dad, Robert Graysmith made me wish my dad and I got along.

There were times I got a bit choked up when the two of them hugged each other as we were living SF.

It made me wish I had a kid to raise and be close to... I don't really blame my dad for the distance we feel, cause it is tough being a parent. I imagine.

There are movies were there are father and son relationships onscreen that just tear my heart out watching.

"October Sky" when the rocket boy lets his dad push the button to launch their last rocket.

"The Kid" when Charlie Chaplin rescues the lil' kid from the orphanage and kisses him on the lips with such passion as the escape the cops, but you just know they'll get them both eventually.

"At Close Range" when Christopher Walken shows his love of son Sean Penn when he rapes then kills his girlfriend and nearly kills Sean Penn...

Okay, maybe that isn't the kinda film I'm talking about, but it was good.

This is me with Aaron and his dad the famous Bestselling author of "Zodiac: Unmasked."

We are standing in a very cool experimental house sitting in the parking lot of the Port of San Francisco.

This is just moment before meeting a French Woman who may be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Aaron picked me up on his drive from LA and I took him out to see the wondrous sights of Fresno...

In less than 12 minutes we were heading for SF!

One of my favorite directors, David Fincher, who made "Fight Club," is making Aaron's dad's book into a movie!

Robert Graysmith (Aaron's dad) picked up lunch at Mel's Drive-In and told us great stories about how Hollywood works when acquiring the rights to his books.

His "Murder of Bob Crane" was made into "Auto-Focus" by another of my favorite directors, Paul Schrader.

Aaron and I have talked about taking one of Robert's books and turning it into a feature ourselves. He has so many books, my current fav is, "The Bell Tower" it's about Jack the Ripper in SF and it's really great!

I would love to cast popular singer and songwriter John Mayer as Jack, but don't tell anyone.

I wanted to take time on this trip to tell Aaron that I was in love with his sister, then after a bit of time tell his and Margot's father that I wanted his blessing in dating her. I'm sure Robert would be very cool with this, but just when I wanted to tell them both, I met a girl that completely turned me around.

We were just talking and the woman walked by me and we started chatting about life and the mysteries that it holds for those that look closely.

Then moments later, we parted and I returned to them and they began asking about her...

Suddenly she returned and asked me into another room.

"I am here with friends and don't want to miss an opportunity... What if I were to never never do this with you..."

She then kissed me on the mouth. I was so shocked when she quickly moved forward that I instinctively moved my head to the side catching the kiss on the edge of my lips and cheek.

I tried to regroup and give it another go but she moved back...

Awkward...

She gave me her number and left.

I again returned to Robert and Aaron who were all smiles, but now how was I to approach the subject of my love for Margot?

I want to do an "Oscar" party kinda thing... Food, Drinks, Prizes, Dancers... I'd like to do it at a place that has a bigscreen. Maybe Tie-In with cool features I have on the show called, "Screentest" and "Hollywood Buzz"...

If I'm not able to make it happen in a public place, maybe I'll just have it in my home for my few friends. But then I still have no furniture...

Or friends...

I'd like to make it an "Extreme Oscar Party" dangerous, violent, and scary! I can tell with the response I'm getting for the movie show bits people would show up.

Also, I'm working on having a Police Officer Narcotics Trainer come in and show us the effects of smoking Marijuana...and drugs!

Ya know it's that old WKRP thing but it's funny. So don't let that ruin what lil' reputation I have.

This is my new Hooters Atkin's style meal!

Hooters has been great to me here in Fresno with providing me with meals made to please.

Sure some of the other customers and waitresses look at me and wonder what it is I'm eating, but with all the weight loss I've been having some of the girls are taking notes on my plan.

I want them to be careful because I've lost much weight and size in my man-breasts!

This is just the start of my Hooters weight loss, soon just as Jerrod from Subway, the Duchess for Weight-Watchers and comic Ralphy Mae for the VH-1 reality show called "Celebrity Fat Camp." took over the public conscience, I will be a spokesman for Hooters with all the pounds I have dropped eating there.

Plus, looking at hot chicks you'll never get looking like ya do, is one way to find motivation.

This is Emily and Jade!

They did some work for me on my radio show, but mysteriously the tape was destroyed...

I think Emily psychically melted it with the power of her evil mind. You can see her evil mind working in this photo.

I've met some cool people here and these two are some of the coolest!

I met them after I discovered there were no movies starting anywhere near the time it was...

I walked around, even found some killer sunglasses in a shop I wanted and put them on hold. Then saw these two sitting by the fountain lookin' all evil and scary in Black.

So being drawn to the Dark side, I approached them and we started talking. We seem to like all the same movies and music.

Then we talked about alien abductions!

Which is great because I started a new feature on the show called, "Area 69" and it's all about sexual alien contact. People are too afraid to admit they have sex with aliens, but there are those that will and they seem to open up to me about it all the time.

And that makes for compelling radio!

But at that point Emily and Jade ran screaming!

If you've ever had sex with an alien and want to talk about it, please contact me by e-mail and then I'll set up a phone interview with you.

By the way, I mean Aliens from Space, not Illegal Aliens.

But that too would make for good radio!

This is my new friend Kelli!

Not only is she a wonderful Johnny Rockets waitress, she's also one of my favorite actresses. I hope to work with her more in the future!

She acts like she's licking the creamy center of my Oreos when she makes my Oreo Shake. I hope she's acting...

I'm working on setting up my Acting Workshop again, but this time in Fresno as well as Hollywood.

I haven't let my place in Hollywood go yet and after Backstage has offered me a nice write up, I thought I might turn it into a workspace for my little group.

If you want to hangout and make some fun movies with me, give me a shout! Classes are filling up and the ads haven't even begun!