I think it is so funny to be invited to a party at a friend's house and then get another message telling you there is a $10 cover to get in... His House!

I wasn't really thinking of going, but it is kind of funny.

There seem to be lots of parties around here... I should go do something at one of them. I just can't get in gear.

I guess one should be careful about what one (Me) posts on his website. I always wanted to just say what's going on in my life and hold nuthin' back...

Well, the publisher read my statement and called to ask if I was wasting her time? Or was I holding out for better terms?

If I wait a little longer maybe I'll get a bigger advance... Damn! I bet she's reading this now!

Forget it!

It sucks trying to tell the truth.

I believe several people are upset about me and the Russian Lady (She's from Russia, that's right!) I have been told, "How dare I give up on American women to date Communists!" and my family really is thinking she's a Spy!

What secrets do I have? She could read about them all right here.

I have received a few calls from her. I can tell because there are something like 40 beeps and clicks on my machine before it just cuts the calls off.

I think she is having another translator on a party line try and communicate with my machine and in the silence the machine gives up. Or Russia's phone system sucks.

"Can you here me now, Comrade?"

I also got some very nice beautiful pictures of her in the mail. One of her is her wearing a Disney T-shirt and standing in front of her doorway of her lil' castle. She appears to be ONLY wearing the t-shirt... I wonder who took the photo? She actually may be wearing shorts. Very tiny shorts.

Some of the guys who e-mailed me are asking me either to post her pictures (Not yet!) or at least name someone she looks like...

Okay, this is way off... But she looks like Marianna Petrovskaya with lighter hair. If you don't know who she is... Please get with it!

Actually, I didn't either until Anna told me she was asked several times in New York is she was her... Huh?

Marianna Petrovskaya was a spokesmodel for Givanchi... I think.

Anyway, she's too beautiful for me. While eating with her at Phillipe's Original Sandwich Shop in downtown Los Angeles, one block north of Union Station and Olivera Street everyone just stares at her... No one even noticed me... To the point some dude walks right into me with his French Beef Dip juice spilling all over my shoe.

She was cool though laying into this guy with her Russian that only she and the translator understood. Later I learned it wasn't good, what she said, still it sounded rather sexy as I'm sure the guy thought as well.

He didn't even apologize.

But, you know, is it worth dating someone sooo attractive that you just disappear and you know everyone is looking past you to this object of desire?

How could you really trust anyone who at a snap of their finger could sleep with any one they choose?

If you had a fight and they left the house... Wouldn't you wonder if they were snapping their finger?

She has made numerous attempts to fly me to Russia, but I can't bring myself to get my passport renewed, or even make a plan to go.

I've heard from the translator trying to get me to go with her to our prepaid dinners so she can get her pay... It's all too much pressure!

One e-mail came from an elderly gentleman who told me of a brief encounter he had when he met a Russian gal when he was a teenager in the war.

He had a gal back home who he loved and he met this gal and they fell madly in love, but he never did anything with her because he was trustworthy and cared for his girl back in the states.

As they were being shipped out she ran crying to him and kissed him. His heart tore, he said. He still dreams about being on the back of that truck driving away and seeing her running after it in the dust.

A week later he gets a "Dear John" letter from the girl back in the states.

He tries to track down his Russian love get her families name, but never writes her...

Then after he married and had a family... And his wife dies of the cancer, he heads over there on a seniors trip with other war buddies. He tracks down the family and meets her granddaughter.

She tells him her grandmother told all the kids about him and how her love for him carried her through the war. She never told them until her husband passed away in respect of him.

The girl pulled out a picture and he said, "She was probably 65 or 70 years old in the photo, but she was still the most beautiful teenage girl I had ever seen."

She too had passed away with cancer they same year as his wife. So he never saw his Russian love again...

His e-mail to me ended by sweetly telling me, "You should have banged that Russian bitch as hard as you could, cause you are going to regret it for the rest of your life, you fuckin' loser!"

I love those old Army guys!

But ya know...

I might just need to stick with people who speak English, cause there is enough misunderstanding in my own language.

REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS SO HARD TO LEARN!!!


1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into the sewer.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

I just got in from my late night/early morning dinner and it is so beautiful right now.

The sky is partially cloudy and the moon is illuminating the clouds and smoke. It is so cool and cool temperature wise as well.

I wish it could stay like this after all this heat. I began to wonder if all these fires were set just so the weather would change?

I pulled out my standard Halloween attire and looked at it for a few minutes. Walked around with it. Held it up. Thought about it. Then. Put it back in the closet.

I'm just not in the mood for dressing up.

Maybe I can find a Halloween party where I can go in my underwear...

It all just isn't as important to me anymore I guess.

In today's mail a package came back from a publisher and editor friend of mine who I have come to know from their writers I interview from time to time.

I had sent off a book I had written as part of my one book a day writing month marathon back a few months ago when I had unbridled energy.

The piece was in need of some editing I'm sure, but It passed inspection and was told they wish to run with it if I'm ready to go with their deal.

It was rather exciting. To be accepted and a published author of nonfiction is kind of a dream come true.

But now sitting on the edge of my bed... It really isn't all that great. I am still the same as I was before. I would be the same person if they had passed. Now that I am told they want me to be one of their writers... I fear that maybe they are not the publisher I want to be a part of... It seemed too simple.

The money doesn't even sound all that great, but I only wrote these 486 pages in one long eye straining day.

Actually the money isn't even the thing that's bugging me... It's of course me that's bugging me.

There was a message on the machine that I was seen on the News doing the wildfire volunteer work.

I don't even think I mentioned I was interviewed in Sunset Point, but I was... It was short and to the point which is rare for me. Maybe someone can get me a tape.

Maybe the book news was a reward for doing the good deed. If that's the case... Then I think I'll pass, because I did the volunteer work to get out of my own troubles by helping people who need help. If the Universe is trying to reward me for that...

Then it's got another thing coming!

I mean if it wants to reward me by letting me win the big lotto, well who's the victim?

But, if it thinks it can squeak by, by letting some book publisher bend me over and then steal the book I worked long and hard on for most of a day...

Well screw you!

I just walked in from a full evening of volunteer wildfire refugee help near Stevenson's Ranch and Sunset Point.

We volunteers parked our cars at a Strike infested Grocery store, worked our way through Strikers trying to convince us not to shop, to climb into buses to head over to various hills to help folks who have been relocated.

I met lots of strangers that didn't speak much to each other on the long drive, but after all our work talked quite a bit on the ride back.

While helping an elderly couple carry boxed belongings to a waiting truck, I saw an open family album filled with pictures from old Hollywood movie days. The old woman was once a dancer and studio contract player for MGM. She didn't want to lose these memories.

After a few hours of work we took a break and stretched our back by walking through a fire damaged hillside. The fire all extinguished, but the smell still choked the throat. I saw something sparkle in all the black soot and I bent down to pick it up.

It was a glass doorknob that was melted by the heat, It looked so amazing. I carried it for awhile looking through the cut and deformed glass until I was warned to put it back. That was looting. I was shocked, but then agreed and placed the gem back in the dirt.

On the ride back in the dark bus I looked out the window as we passed a car wreck that had stopped traffic and saw Police flashing lights reflected in the shattered glass and water and thought about the glass doorknob sitting all alone in the dark. It was rescued and then abandoned. A diamond lost.

How many hands opened that door, now closed?

I haven't yet seen, "The Singing Detective," but I heard today that Keith Gordon is really making it into the big time now...

Some of course will try and thank me for his good buzz due to my many posts, but please let's be realistic here...

Tom Cruise's production company has hired Keith to write an adaptation of Isaac Asimov's science fiction novel "The End of Eternity."

The 1955 novel revolves around Andrew Harlan, a technician working in the distant future in a place known as Eternity.

Eternity operates outside of space and time, and its primary task is to alter minute events in the "time-strip" of human history in order to avert disasters such as war and severe depression.

Harlan stumbles upon a beautiful woman in one of the centuries and falls in love with her and decides to break the rules to be with her.

Gordon most recently garnered attention as a director for "The Singing Detective," the Robert Downey Jr. musical drama that opened last weekend.

He also directed 2000's "Waking the Dead." As a writer-director, his credits include "A Midnight Clear" and "The Chocolate War."

I have received many e-mails asking about the Russian lady and what is happening with that situation... I will let you know as time and space permits.

Also, many have asked what i will be doing for Halloween?

I don't know yet... Waiting to get an overview of party invitations before deciding. If you know some good gigs let me know.

I might be going to see one of my favorite films...

Opening Friday ~

EYES WITHOUT A FACE - Nuart Theatre

A deranged plastic surgeon (Pierre Brasseur) obsessively removes the faces of kidnapped women, grafting their flayed skin onto the rotting countenance of his beloved young daughter (Edith Scob), who had been disfigured in an automobile accident.

Director Georges Franju's terrifying, gothic horror film is invested with a weird poetry, elevating his variation on the mad-doctor story to the level of Cocteau and the best of early German cinema.

Alida Valli (THE THIRD MAN) co-stars. New, uncut 35mm print featuring a new translation and subtitles.

http://www.rialtopictures.com/

[NR] Mono

Friday, Monday-Thursday: 5:10-7:30-9:50

Saturday-Sunday: (12:30)-2:50- 5:10-7:30-9:50

Pick a good time, buy the tickets, pick up my dinner, and I'll meet you there...

There has been a party going on next door all night! I haven't been able to sleep so well. I can't believe people would be partying while all this wildfire tragedy is going on around us.

Just when I stepped outside to tell them what I thought about their laughing and singing, I noticed that half of the people were refugees from the hills with fire damage.

This party was a way for them to blow off stress.

Sometimes it's good to wait to discover the rest of the story before jumping in and causing trouble.

Earlier I was talking with a neighbor who was letting a friend stay at his house after his families home was evacuated by the most local wildfires. They are in such a bad situation. They put all their savings into a beautiful house in a home owners association run area that wouldn't let them install fire safety siding and material to their home because it wasn't in line with their choice designs.

Not that any of those things would really help with the power these fires are packing, but I think his anger was what was carrying him through this trauma.

I'm having eye troubles again and difficulty breathing. I have a very bad sore throat and because of an open window in my bathroom my tub was filled with black ash this morning.

Least for the moment my house is not in danger of burning.

I packed up a emergency goody bag of blankets, canned food, and some clothes... Stuff left over due to my divorce and my Fasting... And walked this package over to his family. I received an extremely emotion hug and kiss from his wife and daughter that made me tear up.

I think I may have made friends.

This families brother came by and we all tried to relax until the brother mentioned a rumor that either some viruses or dirty bomb radioactive material carried aloft by wildfires was an Al-Queda plan.

My voice over friends left messages that Rod Roddy, the flamboyantly dressed announcer on "The Price is Right" whose booming, jovial voice invited lucky audience members to "Come on down!" for nearly 20 years, died today. I believe he was 66.

I always liked him when ever I saw him out and about. My x-wife used to have him fly on some of her flights while she was a Flight Attendant. She said she use to laugh because his suitcase always matched his Sparklet's Water Truck-type glittering material.

He like her was from Fort Worth, Texas and I used to work with oldtimers that work with him in Texas Radio.

He was big in television with the series "Soap."

My downstairs neighbor has been home quite a bit lately and I wondered why, but after walking back from the wildfire refugees, I had a chance to talk about her recent job loss. It appears Lions Gate Entertainment Corp. will buy independent film producer and distributor Artisan Entertainment.

I guess she wasn't part of the deal. She doesn't know what to do, she thought Artisan Entertainment was the last place she'd ever work. She loved it so much, but come on... Nothing lasts here, kids.

With recent discussions about carrying my radio show, XM Satellite Radio Tops 1 Millions Users!

We'll see...

One of my favorite British TV dramas when I was a kid was, "UFO". It might be headed to America as new U.S.-produced series.

"UFO," the first live-action sci-fi series from "Thunderbirds" and "Joe 90" creator Gerry Anderson, aired in 1970 and was set in 1985.

The winner of the scariest big screen moment by viewers of Britain's Channel 4 Television was the scene from director Stanley Kubrick as Jack Nicholson screams "Here's Johnny!" as he axes his way through the bathroom door in "The Shining".

How about that!

A museum devoted to the great Italian filmmaker Federico Fellini is to be opened next month in the house in the Adriatic resort of Rimini where he was born.

Handwritten sketches, snatches of footage hitherto unseen, forgotten interviews, books with the director's personal annotations, even the black cap worn by the magician in "La Dolce Vita," will feature among the many exhibits, said Vittorio Boarini, director of the museum foundation.

It was Fellini who invented the word "paparazzi" to describe a photographer hunting celebrities, Paparazzo being a character in "La Dolce Vita."

You knew that already though didn't you?

Twin sisters in St.Luke's Nursing Home were turning one hundred years old. The editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take pictures of the two 100 year old twins.

One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well. Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa.

The deaf sister said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"

"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other.

"Now get a little closer together," said the cameraman.

Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"

"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE." So they wiggled up close to each other.

"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer.

Yet again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"

"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"

With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US?"

When I was a little boy I was very susceptible to believing many things I either saw on TV or what people told me.

I've said this before, but one time while watching, "Tora, Tora, Tora!" on TV and seeing people mowed down in gunfire and explosions, my brother thought wise to tell me that Hollywood used people on deathrow, sick in Hospitals, and sad people ready for suicide, to play in scenes where people die in movies.

When watching my favorite show on TV, "The Six-Million Dollar Man" I believed that so much when I joined the Steve Austin Fan Club (Lee Majors character, not the wrestler) and received an autographed photo signed, Steve Austin, I never occurred to me that Steve wasn't real.

One day in an episode Steve was lifting up a car over his head as he did quite often. I sat mesmerized inches from the set. My brother casually said, "You know, he's got two bionic legs, one bionic arm, and one bionic eye, but they did shit to his spine."

Suddenly I felt my world crumble underneath me and all that I believed that was Holy turned to cheap, fake, lies...

I became damaged. Never to trust again. Never trust anyone, or trust myself for my blind faith in false things and all was false.

Now I am told that Jim Carrey is staring in a remake of, "The Six-Million Dollar Man"... I hope he gets a bionic spine... Think of the children!

The other day a neighbor knocked on my door and when I stepped out he said, "Look it's snowing!"

It really looked like it. Huge flakes of ash from all the fires around us out here. The sidewalk and steps and my car were covered in ash.

This has been so horrible for people and animals.

Getting into my car an Islamic guy from down the street who I first met at a yard sale a few months back, told me he heard that the fires were caused by terrorists for Ramadan, the Fasting Month. A month that I oddly find myself fasting in...

For different reasons, but after I heard this I decided to eat a cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate shake.

I visited with my Fetish friend Sherri at Coral Cafe. She showed me some cool new photos of her trapped in a dungeon with her big boobies escaping for freedom.

While I was looking at the picture a waitress happened to be standing over me. I looked up and she had the most amazing look of shock on her face.

The fact that I had a female with me, every waitress I know there had to come by and meet Sherri. They usual see me by myself reading a book and just drinking water... Meaning: They thought I was Gay!

Even after numerous times they've heard me talking about my x-wife, that was their belief I think. The knew my x-wife was beautiful, so if I divorced her it must have been because I was... Gay!

Now they see with Sherri, they'll know I'm on the market and jump in and take a number.

It was good seeing Sherri, she's funny , smart, and now, blonde. She has many tattoos, in fact I believe one third of her body is covered in ink.

She's has many good stories to tell, however I heard non of them because I was too busy talking about me.

After seeing her off, I headed over to the B&N Book Superstore in Burbank to look at what the great unwashed are reading for free by taking books off the shelf and sitting around for hours. I know they do this, because I see them do it while I'm doing it.

I was looking at a new Taschen book about Stanley Kubrick when I ran into one of the USC Porno girls I met a few weeks ago. She lives in a cool place while going to school and posing for faux lesbian pictures.

That's what see called it tonight, "faux lesbian", but I said if you do everything a lesbian does in the sex act... Isn't it still Lesbian, or Gay, or atleast Bi?

She said she didn't think so.

She thought for long quiet moment and then asked me if I'd seen the movie "The Pillow Book"...?

I couldn't believe she asked me this. That movie was a humorous moment in my marriage when my x-wife was away for work I rented the Peter Greenaway flick because his "Drowning by Numbers" was the first film she and I had seen together. I like his work and I love seeing Ewan McGregor.

Just not that much of him. And seeing a 60 year old Japanese guy poking his finger into Obiwan's onscreen rectum while spreading his cheeks widescreen is an image I can't quite erase from my mind.

So I told this gal, "Yes, I had." while wincing.

And she asked me if I thought Ewan was gay for doing that scene or was he just an actor?

I told her, I think he's gay for doing that scene and because he did "The Phantom Menace".

She laughed and I noticed she was holding a copy of a new Fantasy or Science Fiction book by Anne Perry I had never heard of...

I told her about Perry being the girl Kate Winslet played in Peter Jackson's, "Heavenly Creatures" about two cute girls who kill one girls Mum.

She didn't believe me. She thought I was trying to pull one over on her. She said she had read three other Anne Perry books and believed she would have heard that story before.

I again told her it was true and she said, "I bet it isn't".

I began to think about what I could win from this hot, smart, Lesbian/Bi/Porno Actress as a wager?

Just as it occurred to me a friend of hers showed up and she introduced me to the guy as one of her "Professors" after shaking the hand of this 50 something teacher, they headed off to see "Mystic River" together.

I guess they had to come over the hill to Burbank to see it rather than being seen by faculty.

I left without the Kubrick book and as I sat in my car listening to Matt Drudge on the radio report rumors of terrorists setting the wildfires, I saw the USC Porno girl and her Professor in the shadows of the parking lot support beams just outside the theatre kissing each other in an embrace.

Ask anyone that knows me... They might tell you things like... Jerry never returns his calls, or Jerry is self destructive, even Jerry lives his own path...

They might say even really bad things too.

I have had recent and not so recent acquaintances believe that they can set up a situation where I can create a work that will either be meaningful, fun, cause a buzz, or even make some money.

These people seem to know these things. Some are successful with other personalities and artists. Some are artists themselves.

I think some of them feed briefly on the possibility of helping me and watching with pride that they have placed a stamp on my career or helped bring me to an audience.

Mostly they get frustrated when it seems I don't follow through with their plans. To some of them that makes them more determined.

Time may pass and they come back and mention other personalities that have broke through with either books, movies, or plays that have similar themes that I may have used in previous proposals.

Today I was flooded with calls on my answering machine about recent posts on my website that seem to be passed from one person to another in e-mails and traveling in inner office messages.

I have an outgoing message on my machine that infuriates big shots who call trying to set things up. The message is me trying to catch telemarketers in the act of pitching me their products. I get replies of anger from people that believe they are actually talking to me on the phone.

There are so many peripheral people here in Hollywood and New York that desperately want to be part of the next big thing, or in my case the next thing... That they will put up with my lazy responses to their requests for meetings. Sometimes... Mostly my no response at all.

I have a friend from my past who I have helped out on his past projects. I've shot a few pick ups and inserts, maybe did a few voice overs and consulted in some editing. He has repeatedly called in past weeks to see his latest film that was picked up by a mini major distributor. I was unable to get myself to the various screenings, because while I like him... And I know he reads this... I feel that his work is below par.

There I said it. I know others like it, it just isn't for me.

While sitting on the floor to see "Kill Bill Volume I" on opening day I saw a crowd leaving his film. Their faces were carrying looks of anger. I counted five different people saying that it was one of the worst films they had seen.

I can't tell you how that makes me feel. I want only the best for my friend, but I just don't want to put myself in a situation to have to comment on how I liked his work. So I don't see his work.

A couple of past friends would have worked with me on previous project who have gone on to great things, think they can set up a project about my resent experiences for a small "Indie" company under the umbrella of a larger movie studio.

They have called like crazy today.

"I know you are reading this."

Thanks I appreciate what you are doing! Keep it up!

Calls have been received from upper management types talking development, but I just don't want to play the game. It will only lead to disappointment.

I know this.

Keith Gordon's new film opened today. I will see it.

"The Singing Detective" is one of my favorite stories and I wish Keith all the best.

Keith is one who has given up one me I think. We met back in Dallas and had dinner after I commented to him how I had seen a small rarely unseen first film of his. I liked him immediately and we have since become long lost e-mail buddies.

Yet there were times I failed to respond to e-mails and people give up. I'm bad I know.

I have in the past written in various press quotes and mentioned in publications that happen to ask me who I thought was the next Stanley Kubrick and I have several times stated I thought Keith was the man. I hope he liked that.

I would like to see or even talk with him, but it is hard to see anyones work clear of the veil of personal knowledge that can overshadow the viewing.

Can I really enjoy seeing a friends work without reading things into ever shot that flickers past? Oh, I know what he was saying there...

I really would like to find the best way for me to work on my projects without the frustration of being second guessed at ever turn. People lately seem to think they can provide that, but I doubt it.

Today a producer left them message that they would take my story outright, put a team of writers on it, hire the director and put it out without me "Having to worry a bit..."

They could set me up with a deal that I could direct another project after this, but that I wasn't carrying any cache' right now.

This is from a man whose work I liked and respected. I've never ever talked with him. He left about ten messages on my machine before this genius realized he was talking to a machine.

It didn't even faze him.

At my mailbox today, I received an ominous package without a return address.

It wasn't from Europe, Russia or even outside the country, no it was from Dallas as I could see from the postage.

Inside I opened it up.

A video tape.

No label.

A typed note simply saying...

"Your Twin (1958)"

I was thinking about Bill Pullman getting videotapes to his house in David Lynch's, "Lost Highway".

I popped it in and it was an old "To Tell the Truth" game show episode... With in fact my doppleganger from 1958 with not only my look, but my name.

Yes, now I believe time travel is possible.

I don't know who sent it and they obviously don't want me to know either.

In all the angry phone messages I heard the accent of the interpretor Joyce, who I now realize I had been calling her, "Joy" when we talked at the first of the week.

She told me, or rather my machine once she called back and figured out the joke. The tiresome joke.

She said she had been paid one 48 hour week to assist me over six dinners at restaurants of my choosing, not to exceed $288.00 a meal to discuss "Things" relating to "The Foreign Lady" of my last post.

I wondered, what I am going to do?

I thought, this is so strange.

I questioned, Why $288.00 per meal?

I was happy at that, being one whose dinner expense rarely exceeds $7.00 including tip. But you'd have to see where I eat.

I got very nervous and worried... And am getting there again as I write this.

I hear a certain person in my head telling me tomorrow that they can sell this as a reality series with me visiting Russia to meet her and see if I can make it in that country... All sponsored by Visa!!!

I have yet to call Joyce back.

What an interesting job Joyce has... She'll get paid whether I call her back or not I guess.

I got an e-mail from an assistant teacher at CSUN who said she reads my writing with great interest and that she can translate for me the handwritten letter I was given...

After just rereading the e-mail I think she might be referring to translating the label on the girls thong... See below post. Like I might need washing machine cleaning instructions for her thong.

I counted a few e-mails that ask me where I am keeping the thong in question...

Well, I'm wearing them, now shut up!

The majority of e-mails I received, not counting the Viagra spam, tell me I'm the biggest looser in the world. But then the Viagra spam also kind of suggests that I am a looser.

My life now is so confusing.

I do feel lost and queasy with a kind of motion sickness.

A friend who happens to be a great gal and a fetish model/CD cover model/Horror Scream Queen/and now a scary blonde,...

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thesnakeladyrose/

...Has asked me to go with her top see "American Splendor". I love Harvey Pekar and I haven't seen this movie yet, but many people have told me that I should see it.

Maybe it will get my mind of of me for a while.

I watched Paul Thomas Anderson's "Punch Drunk Love" on DVD and feel like that is the director I would like to be like... I feel a real connection to his style.

Maybe I should try and get out of my funk and let some of these "Industry Insiders" help me get my projects brought to fruition.

Maybe I will plan some time to return some calls.

Maybe after my nap.

Oh, wait it's Saturday... I'm sure I'll remember to call Monday... Right?

Tonight, or actually last few nights been kind of difficult...

I don't know if you remember me talking many posts ago about the scary foster home house next door, but a few months or even less I was talking with a teenage dude next door and then went up to my place. Just moments later the Police were knocking at my door.

Another young guy next door in the same house was stabbed and his one year old daughter was thrown against the concrete and put in a coma with brain damage.

There was suppose to be a rival gang pull up in a car and cause all this trouble and peel out.

I never heard any of that and told the Police just that.

Well, time passed and now Telemundo interviews me for a second time, but this time the reporter shows me the latest Police report.

It looks like this punk gangbanger beat his own little one year old baby so bad he thought he would go to prison, so this asshole cuts himself with a knife and blames some rival gang.

This part of NoHo is like a sub-basement of Hell.

I have been in a funk ever since hearing this... My only thought of hope would be this guy would get killed in prison, but he is just turning 17...

Also, I haven't mentioned it because I didn't want to jinx it, but I met a great gal over the last weekend at a party at the new Frank Gehry building for the Disney Symphony or something like that...

All I know was, it was over 100 degrees and the building is highly reflective stainless steal and it was focusing all the UV and power of the sun like a magnifying glass beamed right on my skull.

She was visiting from Europe as a visiting Dignitary here to study the structure and surrounding effects on the area. She spoke no English and could only communicate through an interpreter. Who also was very nice.

They both approached me and began asking me all I knew about the city.

The next 5 hours was like watching, "Lost in Translation" in Spanish with the interpreter speaking French... We hit it off so well, I was invited back to her Hotel. The three of us hung out and played charades. I have never talked with my hands so much. Even the translator was having difficulty with me.

We drank, which I rarely do and played music. Finally she spoke to the translator for a few minutes and then the translator shrugged and told me, "Okay, You're on your own for the next hour." And then left the room.

This wealthy, educated, gorgeous gal, pushed her blueprints, photos, and maps off the bed and began stripping. I swear to God. The hotel radio could only pick up the Star station or some crap like that, but Cindi Lauper's "True Colors" came on and this girl belted out some of the words, as this oldie was probably just making it to her country. However it sounded like she was singing, "Troop Haulers" she made it all the way out of everything she was wearing but her blue thong and I went and spoiled the moment by trying to preserve it in pictures. I guess it was Kodak's use of that song in commercials that did it to me.

I grabbed her digital camera that we had previously used and began snapping pics of her bouncing on the bed. But she quickly grabbed the camera and fell onto me.

We kissed.

I have to tell you I haven't kissed another woman in over 10 years. By other woman I didn't mean me, I meant my x-wife.

It felt scary, good, and sad all at the same time. I found myself on the verge of just balling like a baby, because I missed my wife, felt like I was cheating, and that this was maybe the most exciting event to happen to me in over a year, if not more.

She kissed me deeply and intensely. I sensed she was desperate to make a connection with me, because she was leaving so soon.

This was a brief encounter and she didn't want it to stop.

I felt confused and exhilarated. I felt God was rewarding me for something... Like not taking my life at some point or several points in my past.

She tried to remove my clothes and spoke to me in her language. I couldn't understand but it sounded like she must be saying the most beautiful thing to me ever said...

I held onto my belt buckle and zipper as she tried forcefully pull my pants down. Even her angry grunts had a sexy accent... Like i was being humped by Natasha from the "Rocky and Bullwinkle Show".

She removed her thong and wadded them up and shoved them into my pocket. Then ran to the bathroom.

We had much liquor... and you know girls... and their bladders.

She open the bathroom door and stood in the doorway for sometime as we just stared at each other. She had such an amazing body. Tall, lean, nice breasts, curvy hips and long legs. She is the same hight as me with out her shoes. Her hair is very long. Mine is not.

She showed me a picture of her father and mother. It was an old picture of them standing on the banks of a big river.

The picture explained a lot. Her father looked just like me. Without the facial hair.

I even looked a little like her mother.

She sat straddling me on the edge of the bed and kissed me more.

She was so nude.

When I held her I could feel her ribcage and the vertebrae in her spine. I was thinking as I am now, I could give up everything I don't even have to be with her. Just leave America and live with her in her small but wonderfully small castle on the mountain over the little village by the river.

If she kissed me 5 minutes more I would be lost, never to return.

She stopped and I opened my eyes. She jumped up with such a speed it startled me. She started screaming. I couldn't understand. She was standing in front of me nude screaming and shaking. I started to get a little scared. I felt myself heating up with fear.

She grabbed the Hotel radio with the clock on it and pointed and shouted at it. Was she telling me I needed to make a decision about our lives? She was tearing up. Her eyes were wet. She began crying, grabbed my waist and fell to her knees. She held me so tight.

She was an angel sent to me to tell me something I didn't understand and she had to make a choice of staying or going. With or without me.

She pointed at the clock one more time and spoke softly as if she was drained.

There was a knock at the door and she looked at me and then ran to the bathroom.

I got up with no strength in my legs and walked to the door.

It was the translator. She told me she would give me a few minutes and told me how Her employer was interested in meeting me ever since she had seen my at the party. And after we all spent time together felt I was her soul mate.

The translator said she would go sit in the lobby and if I would stop by and let her know I was leaving. That that would be nice.

I said I would and closed the door.

I stepped back in the room and my foreign friend began crying again. She was wearing the Universal Sheraton bathroom robe. She handed me a note she wrote when she was in the bathroom and pointed at my heart.

I knew it was over and somehow believed we could make this work.

Driving back it was misty early morning and I truly believed I would learn her language and move to her country and marry again... Or she would give up her status and heritage and live with me in my dump with crime all around.

I sat through a whole sequence of red green yellow light changes at the intersection of Pass and Alameda with another more plain Disney building looming overhead.

I started thinking how strange that Walt has in some weird way brought us together.

Everyday since, I walked on air.

I told my brother and his wife about some of the events. After I heard myself telling them this it hit me that this just wasn't going to happen.

Who was I kidding?

She has e-mailed me everyday. She has sent me pictures. She even mailed me a brochure of some tourist river boat ride in her village.

I have answered but my heart was getting heavy. Everyday life was swallowing me up.

This isn't going to work. I'm just hurting myself thinking we could ever make our lives together.

That first morning after, I pulled up to the Hotel parking attendant. I dug into my pocket for the ticket. I felt my fingers move across her panties still warm in my pocket.

As I drove I pull them out. Glowing shiny blue in the dashboard and car radio lights they were silky between my fingers. Cool and smooth.

At the intersection light. I tried to read the label on them. The language was like a wall. Instructions indecipherable.

This isn't going to work.

Sure your holding the panties of a beautiful, wealthy, intelligent, European girl...

But you are somehow still a loser.

Somehow.

I waited five days before even mentioning this, because i thought I would jinx it. Now there's no point in hiding it.

She'll never read this... You aren't even reading this... I've put it all down here, (except the note she wrote, which I haven't had translated and maybe won't) to hopefully let her and the ache go...

I hope it has.

Or atleast will soon.

Another hot day today...

What ever happened to that Nuclear Winter we were promised when we were kids?

Today I while sitting at a light near Melrose I saw actor Tim Roth on the corner using his cellphone. Exciting I know.

I use to see him in public all the time. Once in Dallas, he was sitting on my porch waiting to shoot a scene for a TV movie they were filming on our block. I talked to him while I was checking my mailbox. Nice guy. Cool.

Then I saw him at a Greek Restaurant I ate at a few times. Said hello. Very cool guy.

I wish he'd act more. But maybe he is and I'm just not seeing it.

Today so many great entertainer died...

And then so did Fred "Rerun" Berry.

Plus, Western movie star Jack Elam Died. I thought he had a great face.

Then, I was completely shattered by singer-songwriter Elliott Smith, who earned an Oscar nomination for "Miss Misery" from "Good Will Hunting," died at age 34 in an apparent suicide... He stabbed himself in the chest! Can you imagine doing that? Just how hard would that be?

I remember sneaking out of the house on sad and depressed night after a fight with a loved one and seeing Elliott Smith perform in Silver Lake. I remember getting all weepy watching the show.

I also remember the fear of walking to my car and finding someone had thrown a half eaten sandwich onto the windshield.

It took some elbow grease to remove the mayonnaise that was splattered all over the glass.

I don't know what weird spam e-mail list I'm on, but I get so many e-mails spamming me about buying Medication online.

Some new medications for women only...

DAMNITOL, Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

ST. MOMMA'S WORT, Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN, Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

PEPTOBIMBO, Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

DUMBEROL, When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country western music.

FLIPITOR, Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

PENISCILLIN, Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as,"You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"

BUYAGRA, Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL, When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

JACKASSPIRIN, Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT, A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

SEXCEDRIN, More effective than Excedrin in creating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache" syndrome.

I have the worst headache tonight. We have about three forest fires around the area I live and the ash and smoke it stopping up my breathing.

It was way too hot today. It had to be over 100, and that means in my apartment it was 150.

You know how the porcelain always feels cool when to sit on the toilet seat, or when you are dead drunk and your hot sweaty face is laying on the bathroom floor next to the toilet? Well, my place is so hot the cockroaches are lined up waiting for the next time I open the refrigerator. In fact my cock has also lined up to embrace a cool breeze from the fridge. I've taken it upon myself to sitting on the icetrays.

Earlier I was having dinner with a friend and while he left the table to talk to another acquaintance, I overheard a conversation between three men who were having a heated argument over their opinion about there being too much sex in the new Star Trek: Enterprise.

I actually had to look at them as I thought with all that's going on in the world these guys are talking about boycotting UPN and their advertisers.

I've seen some of the shows and I haven't seen any sex. If you have please send me tapes.

I can't believe that the movie "Halloween" is having its 25th anniversary... Well I guess I can, but I remember seeing that movie like it was Yesterday.

I wonder when "D.C. Cab" will be celebrating its 25th anniversary? I remember seeing that movie like it was 25 years ago.

A woman who eats at the Chinese restaurant I eat at all the time, stopped by to tell me she's working on Drew Barrymore's new "Barbarella"...

That was interesting to hear. I hope it's more like the comic than the movie, though I did actually like the movie.

If you do, you might want to check out Roman Coppola's (you know, Sofia's brother...) "CQ", there's great "Barbarella" type making of story in that film.

Maybe I shouldn't mention, "CQ" anymore. I have heard from many readers of this page that I mention it too much and that they hated that movie.

Maybe I have no taste.

I watched the new "Joe Millionaire" tonight and really like this guy. And I love these chicks getting fooled.

I also watched, "Skin" and liked it alot to, as I have always been a Ron Silver fan.

I have been asked to appear at a Wally George Farewell Party. I used to have Wally on my radio show back in the day and always liked him, but I think I'll probably pass. It might be too much for me. I try not to attend services that serve buffalo wings and tater skins...

Unless Jessica Simpson is performing.

Last night during a meeting with an actress I'm considering using in a film I'll be shooting soon, she said something I thought was interesting...

I had told her about the biography of Steven Spielberg I had been reading by Joseph McBride, because it was sitting next to me.

She said, "Do you remember in "Temple of Doom" where Indy is in the plane that has no pilots and he can't fly the plane...? Yet in "Last Crusade" he pilots the plane with his dad."

I had never thought of that. Maybe I'll check those videos out again to see if she has a point.

While we were talking a friend of hers stopped by to say hi. She also has a relative that's friends with Robert De Niro who says he was diagnosed with cancer. I don't know if this is true or not. I haven't read this yet.

This gal works at a film festival and supposedly just got fired because there will be no more screener copies sent to film festivals. Can this be right?

Does this mean that there won't be so many film fests anymore?

They both were nice and the meeting was fun. They seem to have many friends that can help crew this project of mine. They are working at some big Haunted House at a theme park. They told me, but I forgot. They pulled out some photos and it looked like they were having fun.

I might go to some this year. I haven't been to a haunted house in many years.

I have received a few e-mails from old friends asking me about how I feel about the Box Office numbers of 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'... They are asking because they remember that I had been approached to direct 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre III' back in the early 90's after so much buzz of my music videos.

Well, I haven't seen the new one yet, so I can't can't really say anything about it.

A few years back I shopped a treatment idea around about the making of the original and the trials and tribulations of a bunch of young Texans trying to make it in the big thieving film biz. Their profits being stolen at ever turn. I still think it's a funny heart warming story that could be a great retro sleeper.

I still am sad about the fate of Penthouse, the adult magazine founded by publisher Bob Guccione. It is going on the block.

It's struggled with a steep drop in sales.

There is a photographer I see fairly regularly whose work I grew up seeing in that magazine. He's moved on to great things as I guess we all must try and do...

Still it is sad that the mag will be history. I haven't seen an issue in something like ten years, but I was a subscriber to Omni its sister mag since its beginning. I always felt that Penthouse helped fund so many other interesting things.

I had a message on my machine today from a voice over agent friend telling me that Dan Castellaneta, the voice of Homer Simpson, will play producer Aaron Spelling in NBC's TV tell all movie "Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of 'Charlie's Angels"'

That might be fun.

I was talking with a friend today about life, being single, and how women we've encountered in America are so different than women in other parts of the world.

I told him that I haven't dated enough to judge the entire American female. I've only date in three or maybe at most four states.

He's a little bit older than I am, but he's seen so much more of the world. He's a very successful broker of rare photographic art. He's divorced. He's wealthy. He's a lot of fun.

He set up an experiment that I thought was very interesting.

While fixing up a property he purchased as an investment near USC, many female students walking by stopped to ask about it being available for rent.

After talking with many gals, he came to the conclusion that so many girls were here from small towns and foreign countries where their dad's basically decided to cut them off financially because the girls wanted to go to school so far from home.

These young ladies were having to work jobs to help with payments. Sometimes the jobs became more and more desperate as bills piled up.

So this guy sets up this house where he packs these girls in all these rooms, well decorated, covers their rent, utilities, and food on the premises. I believe they must pay for the phone.

Anyway, after a heavy interview he chooses who he takes on as a resident. They must provide so many hours a week to being photographed for his website.

I haven't seen the website as he is still setting it up, but it sounds sexual in nature. I try not to be a prude in all this, but a couple of weeks ago I talked with a couple of the girls after they had just received a new hair styling and make over. They seemed so happy not to be stripping or waiting tables. They had no problems being nude for tuition and even believed what they were doing was art.

Besides, one girl mentioned, we're getting a new pool built.

I started thinking if I had a daughter I would make sure I provided them with enough money for college so stuff like this wouldn't happen.

The house looks great. The girls look great. This guy seems to be making even more money. The girls seem really happy. He seems really happy being a guy in his fifties with twenty teenage girls running around in their panties in front of him all the time.

After hanging with him I sat in my car with the air-conditioner and radio on just thinking if I'd want to live his life...

Something must be wrong with me, but I don't think I would.

Again I don't want to judge him or the girls, but I would really like just to hangout with one smart, funny lady...

Not that any of these girls were stupid, I mean they are going to USC. The Asian girl I met is taking some course I hadn't even heard of before. The girl I met from Prescott, Arizona was reading a copy of Dr. Zhivago while getting her hair done.

Reading it for fun, she said.

Looks are not that important to me as long as the gal is interesting. I mean, all looks fade, so then what is there to do when that happens? There better be something good to talk about, and or laugh about...

Later on I was talking with a female friend who is in her second year of college. I told her all this, thinking she would understand my thoughts about it, but she seemed more open to it saying she was tired of working and wouldn't mind being pampered all day if taking her clothes off for a few pictures was all that was required.

I'm not even sure what disturbs me about it all. Am I jealous? No. Could it be I think this guy is a sad character? No, he's very happy and charming. What gives then?

Maybe I got it all wrong in my thinking. Maybe I was just raised wrong. Maybe there's a reason he drives a new Lexus and a used Rolls, and I drive an old beat up Honda Civic.

I met some teenage drunk girls tonight.There might have been about ten of them all drunk in a parking lot slowly being surrounded by drunk and scary dudes.

I worried for them as I passed by, then one of them started vomiting up clear liquid all over the side of a car.

I quickly got to my car as a chain reaction of vomit began overcoming the girls.

Maybe vomit would help these gals from possible rape, but those guys were so drunk they might not even care.

I wondered as I drove away if their dads even care where their little girls are?

Pulling away I saw one girl wiping puke from her face with the hem of her miniskirt completely exposing her panties.

Erotic and disgusting all in one shot.

I bought some Halloween decorations and some candy. This year I got candies from around the world thanks to a visit to Thai Town, Korea Town, and Little Tokyo. Just the thing to ensure kids coming to my house will hate their treats.

I received an e-mail from a 29 year old Russian girl who discovered this webpage in an internet cafe in Volgograd, where ever the hell that is...

She said she found the page already on the screen and translated by some previous cafe patron. She began reading my stuff just to see what the other person was up to.

In the e-mail she says there are no dating possibilities for her in that city. Then I started paying attention to what she was writing.

Just the other day a Chinese friend of mine was telling me about his visit to some small towns in Russia where there was not one ugly girl visible. Maybe they were in hiding, but he said that every girl he met was like a supermodel.

I think I could enjoy being with a Russian gal. Russia has a great history of literature, Vodka, KGB, and some more stuff, oh and great cinema... Well, we'll see.

I rented, "From Russia with Love" just to familiarize myself with the country and its people, you know just as a refresher.

Earlier tonight I was driving a friend around a part of Los Angeles that I wasn't familiar with.

He had a bike in the back of my car that he was taking to get fixed at some sort of bike cult comune.

He's a cool guy who knows alot about things hidden under the surface. Like where you can get a bike repaired for the price of a few beers.

After dropping him off near the Avenue of the Assassins, I headed out into the unknown. Trying to find my way back to some street I could recognize, I was stared at by various ethnic groups who were either just hanging out in the middle of the street talking to each other, or jumping up and down beating in a parked Police cruiser with baseball bats and the leg of a busted table.

They would pause from whatever crimes they were committing to look at me as I passed slowly over the shattered glass.

The MTA strike has really jammed up the traffic, making my terror last a wee bit longer.

This friend of mine, before dropping him off to his most certain death, told me he knew of some secret Thai dives where I could meet more Thai girls... I now feel like I live in a third world country and I'm wearing camouflage.

Finally finding some familiar landmarks helped guide me back. I began thinking about Roy Horn and the Tiger mauling and how that might be my new Halloween costume.

I heard they removed a large portion of his skull so his swelling brain could expand, but get this... To keep his skull from drying up and turning to dust, they put his skull into his stomach to keep it moist. Like that rat that had a human ear growing under its skin.

Just adding more fuel to horror of my Halloween costume.

I'm sure Miramax would be happy to know that just moments ago while walking to a cafe on Melrose I was approached with the offer to not only buy a VCD, DVD, or VHS of "Kill Bill Vol I" but also a pirated copy of "Kill Bill Vol II".

Being a huge fan of "Kill Bill Vol I", I paused to think about it, but I also began to wonder if with all this talk of screener banning, the copy Police wouldn't try some sting operations.

Getting busted picking up a fake hooker is one thing, but if I get cuffed for buying bootleg movies... I'd be ashamed.

The funny thing is the Band Apart offices are just a couple of blocks away from this guy. He could probably get them autographed.

Then xerox the autograph onto the crappy boxcovers and charge a little more.

The sidewalks around here are better than eBay.

I woke up startled last night...

I fell asleep around 7:30PM with the radio on, listening to Phil Hendrie on KFIAM 640. I was really tired.

Then around 1:38AM I was having some horrible dream that a little person with a lightbulb head was standing in my bedroom doorway. I sat up. The radio was playing George Noory with his guests who were talking about voices of dead people they had recorded.

The little person with a lightbulb head was actually my bedside lamp glowing in the light from the radio.

I pulled the covers up real good.

I made sure all my body parts were covered by the blanket.

I began thinking how October is my favorite month because of Halloween. I must do something fun this year.

What can I do?

Egg some houses?

TP some lawns?

Last year I bought some apples and put the Gillette Mach3Turbo, Gillette's next generation triple-blade shaving system, the world's most technologically advanced shaving system-disposable razors in the apples as gifts.

The older teens that shave appreciated them, plus I get lots of skinheads coming to my door that could put them to good use.

This year, I must do something even better...

I know, I'll dress up as a ferry boat Captain!!!

While taking a break, I tried wading through the numerous Genital Enlargement and Viagra Spam to find some nice message of love. Just something nice from someone out there in the world. Some small note of kindness to let me know that someone out there cares about me and not my penis size.

Then there it was...

An e-mail address I hadn't seen it quite some time.

It send chills up my spine.

My balls retracted up snug.

Pain churned in my stomach.

Nerves prickled and hands shook.

A blanket of humid fear and sadness wrapped around me.

It was an e-mail from my x-wife.

How long could it sit there before I opened it? What strange feelings I'm having. Why am I feeling this way?

Maybe I should just delete it before I even read it.

I have this technique in driving where if I don't make eye contact with another driver, I won't see him flipping out when I'm driving the legal speed limit and he wants to break it in a school zone.

That's how I try and make it through life now... No eye contact, no pain.

Damn it!

I opened it.

No big deal.

It was short and sweet.

Like ripping off a band-aid real quick.

I'm getting to think the less contact I have with anyone the better.

Then I won't need the penis enlargement or the Viagra.

I was reading about Stanley Kubrick in an old article by a writer that worked for him on some film ideas. There was a couple of things that happened that I found funny and interesting.

The writer had a new handbag to carry his materials in that Kubrick became fixated on, so Kubrick had to order some just like it. When the bags arrived Kubrick proudly opened the box, looked over his new handbags, and then sat them on the floor.

Several months later the writer came back and noticed the box of handbags had not moved in all that time.

The same thing happened with another writer and some research papers that the writer was told by Kubrick to be of some importance. Kubrick sat them down and months later there they sat unread and unmoved.

Not that I feel this is an excuse...

But there are numerous items that I must step over in my place that I have not moved in years. My place has become a dump where gravity undresses me of clothing and items.

The pull of weight holds these various products to the floor where they become obstacles in my path.

My place has become a huge mess. I know my life would be so much less convoluted if I could just bulldoze all the rooms out.

I get depressed so easily while tripping over books, tapes, CD's, trash, clothes, junk mail, empty food containers, dismantled furniture,...

I plan weekly to clean, but when cleaning day arrives I'm to overwhelmed to know where to begin.

I think sometimes that a yard sale will bring me some fair money for these goods, but that to never happens.

eBay selling has been good, but it takes too much time and is so freaking boring logging each item.

Donating it too has been a hassle. Besides you can only use so many donations a year on your taxes.

So far my best bet is dumping it all in the alleyway. The homeless could use many of my books and CD's piled up to create a shelter.

I just know if I were to clean it all out, I would feel more comfortable bring a girl over to my place, instead of the usual stairwell or isolated drainage ditch make out location.

Tim Robbins is one of my favorite actors and directors. Charles Rose is doing a great interview with him while I write this...

I usually think he has THE life, but I see that things are tough for him too.

"Cradle will Rock" is one of my favorite movies... I just fall into that world every time I watch it. I watch it alot.

And I think he is amazing in "Jacob's Ladder"...

I get the feeling many people I know can't stand him. I don't really mind people that speak their mind, unless what they say has something negative about me in it.

Sure I can dish it out, but I can't take it.

When people say bad things about me... Believe me... They do, daily... I first try and locate where in my brain the knowledge of that person is stored, then I try drilling it out with my Black & Decker cordless drill. Sure some blood and bone is lost, but those offending people cease to exist in my mind.

I'm told by Doctors that I'm only hurting myself, but to them I say, "You know? You're right." That usually ends the discussion.

But I'd rather have a few months of head trauma than the heartache of knowing people I come into contact with don't like me.

While sliding into an MRI tube a member of the Medical staff asked me if I was going to be drilling into my skull to forget the time I spend with my x-wife?

I thought long and hard on that one.

Then after seeing the scan and just how little of my woofle-ball like skull looked with all the drilling, I decided... Yes I think I will.

I pulled into my Bank's parking garage located in the Disney Building only to find the Bank closed because of Columbus Day. So after getting back into the car and pulling up to the gate they tried to charge me $1.50 for parking.

Well, they didn't try, they did. Even though I was only in the garage for the time it took me to get to the bank door and back.

I feel if Walt knew what was going on he'd be turning over in his ice tray.

Then to get over this injustice I headed over to the Library... The Library was OPEN? On Columbus Day?

Yes, they were.

As I walked in a woman was sitting at a table talking loudly into her cell phone. A Librarian came over to her and they broke into a verbal fight about the banned use of phones in the Library. The woman stormed out steaming.

Moments later, I was in the Oversized book section and there was a guy I see there alot who has some sort of trouble that causes him to talk to himself. I think he's schizophrenic. So what do I do?

I go to the Librarian who just had the fight. She was in the middle of telling another co-worker about the incident, when I interupted and told her there was a man in the Oversized book section talking loudly into his cell phone.

She jumped up and nearly ran over there to take out her frustration on this poor mentaldude. I was a couple of ailse over, but I heard her yelling at him and he's yelling over and over, "I'm not on a phone!"

I quickly left.

Job done and I feel better.

It's like, "Punk'd" without the annoying hidden cameras.

I was reading about Monkeys that move robot arms with thoughts.

I know what I'd do with a robot arm, because I have bad monkey thoughts.

I overheard a couple of Caltech dudes talking about using pieces of rat or monkey brains to run satellites and deep space explorers.

They were saying that recently deceased scientists could donate their brains to be installed into satellites to travel into space and report on other worlds.

I thought that would be cool.

I saw "Kill Bill Vol I" and totally loved it. I even saw it for free after trying to see "School of Rock" that turned into a huge food fight in the AMC where I got hit in the head with a box of nacho cheese.

The management gave me my money plus a free ticket for the humiliation of walking out unknowingly carrying a chip stuck to my forehead with a big dab of cheese.

After being told about it I was escorted to the washroom where after washing off the cheese a big orange stain was still visible on my head. Just think what that cheese does to your stomach.

Anyway, for that I got to see Quentin's 4th film for free.

When "Kill Bill Vol II" comes out, Will it still be his 4th film since he shot it all at the same time?

We are experiencing a major strike going on at all my favorite grocery stores.

The Albertson's that I usually attend was packed with striking angry clerks as I pulled up to by my much needed hemeroidal suppository love pellets.

I always buy them there because when I first bought my box, I nervously waited in a crowded line afraid everyone was watching me buy nothing but these hemeroidal suppository. When I finally reached the clerk he picked up the box and announced to me and everyone in ear shot that he liked this brand and uses them all the time.

I thought that was cool of him to proudly proclaim that to me, so whenever I needed my ass fix, he was the clerk I visited.

So I got out of my car afraid of crossing the picket line, but my ass was calling the shots.

The picketers quickly surrounded me as I was the only shopper brave enough to walk in spitting range.

Thinking fast I put my hand out and told them I was just stopping by to offer my support. They all changed their attitudes and took turns shaking my hand.

I asked if anyone needed any drinks or anything. Thinking that would get me in the store without a beating while I grabbed my goodies. But they said that El Pollo Loco was supping them with all their needs.

Damn!

As my ass throbbed, I said my "Good Luck" and "Keep Fighting the Good Fight" and waddled back to my car empty handed and empty-assed.

I tried Trader Joe's knowing they didn't have my brand, but also they weren't striking there... Just maybe they would have some all natural soy ass cream coolant to carry me till this Godforsacken strike ends.

No such luck.

On the way out I ran into my friend Aaron. We talked awhile and then headed off to Wendy's to eat and chat.

He is doing great work at the studio where he heads up a CGI dream team. He's involved in a nice relationship with a tall blonde gal who works at another studio. Who happens to think I'm creepy. And he seems happier.

It was good seeing him. I was trying to think how long it's been since I've seen him... It's been a while.

Sometimes it's good not to see people you see everyday and then after a few months see them... It feels fresh.

Who doesn't want to be just like Dino?

When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie
That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand
And that's not what you planned
That's a moray.

When our habits are strange
And our customs deranged
That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw
And the bales total four
That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife
Gets strangled in strife
That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight
Waves his sword in a fight
That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze
In a damp marshy place,
That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine
And you tied up her line
That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests
Like you did all the rest
That's some more As!

When on Mt. Cook you see
An aborigine,
That's a Maori.

A comedian-ham
With the name Amsterdam
That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham
Is so full and so crammed
That smore.

When you've had quite enough
Of this dumb rhyming stuff
That's No more!, eh?

Well it appears I upset some producers from CBS when I asked the question, "Who watches CBS News anyway?"

They felt I might be an unreliable guest on their morning show and say something they would regret.

Well, I don't want to be predictable, typecasted, or even pigeonholed.

I was listening to George Noory and a guest talk about his now dead parrot who had a 800 word vocabulary. Interesting.

That's more words than my spell-check has...

I've been asked if I have watched the performance tape from Jeremiah Comey's acting class yet? No.

I can't stand the idea of watching myself act. But then who can? No, I mean who can stand watching me act?

I would like to be able showcase my range. I would like to be known as one who is not afraid to stretch.

But sometimes when I stretch I end up throwing my back out and then I have to sleep on the floor till the kinks work themselves out.

Wasn't sure about what to do this weekend...

Should I see Quentin's 4th film?

Or should I go to my local Baskin-Robbins where they are celebrating "Choctoberfest" with various Bavarian
chocolates?

Maybe I'll do neither and instead go to Hollywood Thai and sing old Elton John songs with their karaoke band and try and make the young Thai girls cry.

Sometimes the old Thai men cry, but that's on Thursday Night Gay and Tranny Night at Club Stone down the street.

Maybe I'll be productive and finish that porn video that has taken me over a year to make...

I think I am too much of a perfectionist when it comes to making porn. Everything is nearly right with this movie...

I just need some girls to take their clothes off and have sex in it and I think I might have something.

I started shooting a version of a "Song of the South" dream sequence for a spoof with sharecroppers out in the fields pickin' Oxycontin... while animated blue birds sing.

During my casting two talented Black actors called me "Racist", or rather asked me if I was... But they asked very loudly.

So I thought about not using any Blacks and since my father WAS a sharecropper, make them all White.

Blue Birds still Blue.

But it didn't seem authentic to the old Disney, so I tried Black face make up, but the make-up "artists" didn't have that on short notice, so we used Man-Tan and everyone had that sunburned orange look.

My palms still are orange from spreading that on the actors.

After the shoot two of the Black actors I really liked asked me why I didn't use any Black Actors?

I can't win.

On the way back from shooting in Ojai, I was listening to Deepak Chopra talking about a Master Yogi who so intently believed his body was pure light, passed a sword through his bicep with out any blood being spilled.

Then as he slowly removed the sword a skeptic who happened to be a surgeon in the front row asked the Yogi if he had anymore tricks up his sleeve?

When the Yogi thought of the question he passed from being spirit to being a witness to his ego and at that moment his bicep burst open and splattered blood all over the people in the first row.

When the Yogi realized what was happening he quickly passed back into the spirit and the bleeding stopped.

I immediately thought he was talking to me about critics we encounter in our daily lives and how I believe we should never tell anyone our plans.

Because when we tell someone our plans we pass from spirit to observer and then we must defend our plans.

We then bleed out energy that could have been used to solidify our dreams.

The Networks love reading my page...

I got an e-mail from CBS asking me if I wanted to be on the News talking about Roy Horn's Tiger mauling...

As part of a Siegfried & Roy story on how the internet is handling the news.

They must have just done a search and with the mentions I've made, my page came up. They probably didn't even read what I've said about it.

I haven't responded to CBS... Who watched CBS News anyway?

I picked up a book about Steven Spielberg that has been out for some time, but I just never cared to read it cause don't we all know almost everything about him already?

You know what? I really enjoy this book. It's by Joseph McBride and it's not all sugarcoated.

There are some really interesting things in it like Orson Welles asking Steve if he could direct an episode of "Amazing Stories" and John Wayne being asked to appear in "1941" and many other cool bits like that...

He has a new project called "Nine Lives".

Like "Taken", "Nine Lives" is being produced for cable's Sci Fi Channel.

The network describes Nine Lives as "an epic story of love, death and beyond."

Les Bohem who wrote "Taken" and was among the Emmy-winning executive producers. He'll also serve as an executive producer on "Nine Lives".

Woody Allen is ready to write his autobiography, sparking fevered interest among publishers at the world's biggest book fair in Frankfurt.

HarperCollins' HarperPress is believed to have bid one million dollars for the British and Commonwealth rights.

This could be some good stuff... Like "Harry Potter with Young Asian Chicks"...

The WB Network has given a pilot order to a remake of the fantasy-adventure drama "Lost in Space," which ran on CBS from 1965-68. John Woo is on board as an executive producer and may possibly direct the pilot.

"Lost in Space" was in a bidding war with several networks. The WB, which bid aggressively, is hoping that "Lost" will become another fantasy-action franchise show for the network.

Maybe they should just call it "Jupiter 2" and leave off the "Star Trek... er, Lost in Space" ya know like "Enterprise".

This one will be set in the year 2097.

And the new Space:1999 will be set in 1999...

China this month will be the Third Nation to send a man into space. They are so excited at my local Chinese Food Restaurant. I asked them if they are worried about safety and they said, "No, because on the bottom of the capsule it says "Made in China".

It seems like a different world now that Arnold is Da Gov...

People are walking around with smiles and dazed looks.

I was at a carwash in Hollywood and everyone was so mellow, then finally a young couple broke out in an argument.

They made quite a scene until an elderly lady told them not to worry so much. Then as they just looked at her the lady said, "Besides, Arnold will take care of everything."

Everyone smiled.

I am troubled and I'll tell you why...

I was e-mailed from a reader of this page about a link to me from one of the many sites out there that said something to the affect that if you want to read about a sad and lonely guy living in Hollywood go to this site.

Is that all I am?

Do I really come off that way?

Aren't I atleast funny?

Okay don't answer... It'll depress me.

I got an e-mail from some producers at the Fox Network wanting to see if I'd be interested in talking with them about telling my divorce stories on their new TV show, "Divorce Stories".

I wonder how much more of a loser I would appear to be if I was on that show?

Speaking of loser TV...

I see that Wally George has died. They say he was 91. George died of pneumonia at a local hospital. He had been ill with cancer.

George, the father of actress Rebecca De Mornay, called his style of broadcasting "combat TV" and was known for berating and belittling people who did not agree with his conservative views.

He had the best and funniest hair.

Peter Guber and Peter Bart have new talk show called "Sunday Morning Shootout."

Guber, a legendary film producer, and Bart, the editor-in-chief of Variety, are co-hosts on "Shootout," which premieres on AMC.

Set in a Hollywood coffee shop where big shots can be found on a Sunday morning.

We need more TV shows about Hollywood and coffee shops... I hope a real shoot out takes place there... Then I might watch.

NBC has said yes to a behind-the-scenes version of the sexy 1970s TV action drama "Charlie's Angels."

"Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Charlie's Angels" will focus on Aaron Spelling's ABC hit.

The "Charlie's Angels" film follows the success of NBC's "Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of 'Three's Company,"' which I enjoyed, but believe had something to do with John Ritter's death.

Who will "Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Charlie's Angels" kill?

Today at my local magic shop I saw a nice display of candles and get well cards for Roy Horn of Siegfried & Roy.

And there will be a candlelight vigil at the corner Gay Bar this week.

They must be really loved. I know nothing of their shows. I've never seen them except on Entertainment Tonight.

All I know is they have had some amazing cosmetic surgery.

I wonder when David Blaine gets a life partner and some facial work?

They say the economic damage to Vegas from Siegfried & Roy's tragedy will be enormous. Many people are already laid off.

There are some that believe this may have been another terrorist act.

There are those that believe that the tiger had been getting training from Al Queda terrorists.

But those folks are quite insane.

I visited my favorite theatre the Leammle Fairfax in Hollywood this morning to watch a very fun documentary called, "Cinemania".

It's about people who give up major portions of their life to devote to the experience of going to see movies. Some of these folks would see 5 movies in one day.

The film was put together by Loop Films and some people who like me directed episodes of IFC's "Split Screen", unlike me however they have done something that has receive a theatrical run.

Check this film out. I bet you'll recognize something in these people that will either remind you of someone you know or maybe yourself.

I stopped off at the Burbank AMC 16 to see "School of Rock" but it was packed and seconds before the movie was to start a food fight broke out and some little kids started throwing popcorn and chips. So I quickly decided this showing wasn't for me and got my money back.

I'll go see it when school is in session.

One of my nieces is competing in the Miss Missouri Teen Pageant. It's hard to believe I have someone from the same genetic makeup that is attractive enough to be in a Beauty Pageant.

Maybe now is the time I finally announce to the press that I myself have been fondled by Schwarzenegger.

Helmut Schwarzenegger unfortunately, and it was on a city bus. He was an elderly German who needed assistance in travel due to a nervous condition.

He's dead now so I can admit it. I never said anything about it cause he made great strudel.

A trained tiger attacked magician Roy Horn of the duo Siegfried & Roy during a performance, biting his neck and dragging him off stage just feet from the audience.

I'm telling you that must have been one hell of a performance. If I knew that would have happened... that would have been the show to see.

I talked with my brother last night. He and his wife live in Missouri. They had just eaten a great dinner she prepared from items grown in their own garden. They also had salmon, but I don't think that was from their garden.

I'm sure just like the Indians they'll put the salmon scraps into the garden to do what ever mystical thing that biodegrading does to the soil.

It would be so cool to live that way here in Hollywood.

How will I ever afford a house here? There is a real junker of a house next door to me for sale for $350,000. It's a crappy place with serious problems.

I was thinking of seeing, "School of Rock" but the hype and promoting for this is so huge, I might wait. I started thinking about rock movies and one I never here about is one of my favorites directed by Ron Howard called, "Cotton Candy".

I love this movie. It was shot in Dallas and stars Charles Martin Smith as a nerdy high school student who starts a band to meet girls and beat the snotty rock star stud in a local battle of the bands.

If you can find a way to see this, then do. It really is good.

I wish some magazine would mention it if there is an article about rock movies to tie in with "School of Rock", and "Prey for Rock and Roll" with Gina Gershon, cause "Cotton Candy" maybe could get a second life.

I still can't get "Lost in Translation" out of my head. I try and convince people to go see it, but when I try and describe it, it sounds dull.

I'm thinking I actually might go see it again.

No one should complain about there being nothing to do here in los Angeles. Now if you wanna complain about having something to do for free...

I might give you that one, but still there are many interesting things one can do for free.

I just picked up both The City Beat and the LA Weekly and there are so many things going on in this big shitty.

Okay, but free...

Well, both papers were free.

And while walking down to the corner to pick them up I saw 5 or 6 beautiful models preparing for a fashion shoot.

There were also many guys hanging out watching. And that was fun watching people watching.

On the way back I stop to play with a cat. I didn't have to feed it or even take care of it. It wasn't mine and that love I received was free.

I'm thinking of trying to make friends with theater managers and projectionists. If you know any around here let me know.

See if you know any of those guys, they have to check the films sometimes before the opening day, so they will screen them strictly to check the prints, but they often invite close friends to watch. For FREE!

I met a guy whose girlfriend dances topless at a club in Hollywood and he told me he's friendly with all the managers and bouncers there and if I wanted to get in I would be welcome.

That's good because that means I should do it soon, because it looks close to being banned here in Hollywood.

That's why I hope Arnold becomes Gov'nor, I just know he wouldn't let that happen.

I should go... I mean, now that I'm single... Pah-leez!

I'm not sure I've mentioned this but this is day 4 of my new Fast. I look great!

So, since I'm such a restaurant whore, Fasting has limited my free time of hanging out at food places. I could go and watch others eat, but when they ask me what I want to drink...

Will they give me my cayenne pepper, maple syrup, and lemon juice mix?

I read that Courtney Love has been arrested on drug charge. How cool would it be if she and Rush were sharing the stash?

An enraged Ethiopian mother of five will be tried for the murder of her husband who died after she crushed his testicles in a fight.

Police said the man was so embarrassed after the incident that he declined to seek treatment for the injury, and died days later.

Maybe being single is the right choice for me now...

Ice Cube is in the 'XXX' Sequel as he replaces Vin Diesel. How will they explain that?

I hope Rob Cohen comes back as director. I like him.

Director Spike Jonze and screenwriter Charlie Kaufman are working on a horror film. Those guys are great! I'm sure it will be different.

Director Dean Parisot, who I can't believe has not shot a feature since "Galaxy Quest," is set to make "Fun With Dick and Jane," a remake.

I loved the original 1977 comedy with George Segal and Jane Fonda as a married couple who live the life of crime.

I wonder who will play the Ed McMahon role? Andy Richter? How about Jack Black? Or maybe have Ed McMahon do it again.

Well, it looks like Arnold has lost the Nazi vote, Schwarzenegger says he despises Hitler.

Can't we all get along?

While cruising the web, I just came across some disturbing News...

Atleast it was for me.

1963...

The years I was born, is the year these things also came into the world.

The audio tape cassette

Zip codes started in US

Minsky's "Steps Toward Artificial Intelligence"

CBS and NBC TV newscasts expand to 30 minutes in colour

Polaroid instant colour photography

communications satellite is placed in geo-synchronous orbit

Warners buys Sinatra's ailing Reprise records

Man, what have I done... I'm depressed now.

I always wondered about the name "Rush"...

Now I know how he got that name.

I don't know why, but this is the greatest news to me. While I always have tuned into his show, I love that feeling I get when the mighty hypocrites fall.

I just wonder how many young children will become drug addicts because their hero Rush Limbaugh is one?

Halle Berry separates from her husband and it appears... Now get this... Is seeing Fred Durst!

Fred Durst!!!

I guess this is a good time to mention this...

I'm starting a band.

Today while walking around Hollywood during a break from actual work, I came upon a small yellow bird who flew into a glass building and died.

It was laying on the concrete in front of me with ants slowly dismantling it.

I started my DV camera and got down on the ground and began shooting it.

People walked all around me, but no one said anything or possible even noticed me. Or I them, I was too into the miracle that was taking place.

I wondered if the bird was just flying along and hit the building, was it seeing its reflection and thinking it was another bird, or was it in a hurry to get back to it's nest to met a lover, or feed it's babies, or did it simply want to end it's life by smashing into glass and concrete?

These questions crawled through my head as ants lined up to carry the pieces away.

Soon, ants were on me as well, thinking since I was so immobile that I too must be dead.

I sat up and adjusted my eyes to focus on something, anything in the distance after staring so close at something so near. I then sat and watched a man pushing a grocery cart loaded down with trash pick up an old dirty sock out of the street and toss it into the cart.

How was your day?

I had a great time last night hanging out at Hollywood and Vine watching some movie shoot going on across the street while strange and weird and homeless passed by me in streams.

The play The Producers was filling up at The Pantages Theatre and there was a light mist in the air.

I was waiting for the start of Jeremiah's acting school to open.

Inside the actors filed in and I have to tell you they were all beautiful people. There were some amazing looking gals and handsome looking men.

Acting classes ARE the best place to see hot looking talented people.

There should be classes for how to be a centerfold. I'd join!

Jeremiah is a great guy. I learned quite a bit just watching him deal with his students.

I hadn't expected to actually participate but he teamed me up with a gentleman to do a scene from Spike Lee's "25 Hours". I was the Ed Norton character and he was Brian Cox's.

I haven't seen the film, but now after destroying that scene I would be interested in seeing it done by a real actor.

I stayed late and was so wired after the classes that I was walking on air.

I have no aspirations on being an actor, though I have done quite a bit of it in my life. It is fun to stretch a muscle that is rarely used. I'm not sure what muscle I stretched exactly, but something was torn and sore this morning when I woke up.

I have a tape of the scene we did, but have not dare to watch it yet. I might post some images for you to poke fun at... Later.

But please don't copy it and make it available for bootlegging...

The major studios have agreed to go along with the Motion Picture Association of America's proposal to stop the sending out DVD and video screeners to those who vote for the Oscars and other Hollywood awards.

I always go to my local Library where voters drop off the screeners as a tax deduction and the Library sells them for a buck.

In recent years, the proliferation of screeners has allowed voters to watch films in the comfort of their own living rooms.

But the MPAA sees the wide availability of award-contending films, many of which are just beginning their theatrical runs, as too tempting for pirates who could put make digitally perfect copies available online and on street corners.

And the MPAA and studio bosses don't want to repeat the Napster-fueled downturn of the music biz.

Because of the ease of duplicating screeners, the increased use of broadband and new compression technology (Valenti says a new program developed by Caltech researchers allows a movie file to be downloaded in five seconds), the studios have plenty to lose should their big-bucks event pictures get leaked online and are looking to protect their investments

Bill O'Rielly was on Howard Stern this morning and I have to tell you it was great!

I think I like Bill a whole lot more now.

I hope Stern puts Al Frankin on sometime soon, you know as equal time...

I like O'Reilly a whole lot more than Limbaugh. Limbaugh's the New ESPN commentator and on the network's pregame show said that Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb was overrated because the media wanted to see a black quarterback do well.

McNabb called the whole thing "sad," but an ESPN spokesman said he didn't think the comments were racially biased. "He was comparing McNabb's performance on the field to his reputation in the media," spokesman Dave Nagle said.

I don't watch sports and don't really care about this story, but it is fun watching the sport of controversy in media.

Today the weather is great!

Cloudy and cool and depressing, just like I love it!

I hate the Sun shining all the time. Well, all the time in the daytime anyway.