Yesterday I watched Woody Allen's, "Anything Else" and Sofia Coppola's, "Lost in Translation". I had a great time.

Coppola's movie is wonderful. I really dug it. I felt like I had hung out with some cool people in Tokyo.

I think Sofia is really talented. And a babe...

The film kinda reminds me of her brother Roman's "CQ" in the way the film takes time finding a groove.

I wondered if Sofia based any of this on her life with Spike Jonze.

"Anything Else" was also good, but I unfortunately couldn't get Coppola's flick out of my head.

I got up early this morning to do some voice work for radio station WPBZ in West Palm Beach, Florida, also known as the Buzz. So now my throat is raw.

I failed to do any vocal warm-ups, so I'll probably suffer today.

I am meeting with Jeremiah Comey at his acting studio tonight. I'm very excited and kind of nervous as I've only talked with him on the radio and telephone.

He comes highly recommended in a documentary about Henry Jaglom and you know I love Jaglom.

Jaglom's first film "A SAFE PLACE " starring Tuesday Weld, Jack Nicholson and Orson Welles in 1971, but was never presented theatrically. After meeting actress Tana Frederick, Mr. Jaglom was reminded of his first play and decided to dust it off, polish it and give it to Camelot Artists.

Jaglom's "A Safe Place" has been turned into a play. It's is about a young woman caught between relationships with two very different men. She is so trapped in dreams of the past, the movies and her own childhood, that she is struggling to live in the present and believe in the future.

It's at Skylight Theatre
1816 1/2 N. Vermont
(1 1/2 blocks south of Franklin) Los Feliz

Until Sunday, October 5, so I need to get off my butt and go see it.

Also...

I was e-mailed and called as to why I never mentioned that "On the Waterfront" Director Elia Kazan Died at 94?

Well, I was told that I mention too much death because I was getting old and a horrible thing was I was invited by some still living Hollywood Communists to a celebration party, Being I have a distant WPA/Orson Welles/Mercury Theatre set designer relative... I passed.

Hey, I may not agree with what he did, but I loved his films.

While it seems many people were watching "The Rundown" in theatres, I spent Yesterday watching David Lynch's "Mullholland Drive" for the 12th time at The Fairfax Laemmle Theatre.

It was a blast that I got to see it again up on the big screen. In the next theatre they were playing, "The 400 Blows", I couldn't even tell you how many times I've seen that...

I love going to The Fairfax. One time my x-wife and I were coming out of a show and there was a small crowd of us movigoers hanging out and across the street a Black Prostitute took a glass Ocean Spray bottle and smashed it across the face of a guy just waiting for a bus.

It was horrible.

But the cool this is that all of us strangers called the Police and followed this woman till the Police arrived. We all made friends. We were crime fighters. We were Super Friends!

The Cops packed up the woman and left.

Our job was done.

After watching Naomi Watts and Laura Harring bumping donuts, I had a bad craving for glazed Krispy Kreme donuts, but decided I would quench that desire with some vegetables. Steamed. I would simply glaze my knuckles later.

On the way back from Fairfax, every road I took was closed.

"What's up!?" I screamed.

I popped on KNX1070AM and discovered there was a major War Protest going on at Hollywood and Highland.

One thing I've learned about war protests from all those films from the 60's is that war protest equals easy hippy chicks and sex.

So of course I headed over there to protest.

Protest that my balls are blue!

After a bit of a struggle to find parking I moved in to the crowd.

There were in fact some hot looking girls, but most appeared to be a bit wealthier than I wanted to deal with at the time.

I was in the mood for a poor hot chick. Poorer than me.

I moved through the crowd trying to drowned out the din of their screaming and opinions with my positive mack-daddy selftalk.

I can't tell you the subliminal effect of hearing the word "Bush" screamed in anger over and over has on one how's just watched two hot chicks making out on the big screen.

It turns out that I couldn't find one girl that was in the mood for something other than discussing the worlds problems.

They were many Lesbians there and that was fun, but they too were angry and serious and NOT Lipstick Lesbians.

One guy picked me out of the mass to talk to... He was what I believe was a French guy. I couldn't tell from his accent because he had to yell at me for me to hear him.

After he asked me a bunch of questions about my feelings on the protest and living in America, he began to realize that I was only there to try and have sex and had no opinions what so ever with the troubles at hand.

He then broke down and admitted he too was there to hook up.

He was pretty cool. Funny. We walked around to find a place to eat and he told me that friends had told him that American girls love French guys. So he packs up and travels over here to find love, but Hollywood wasn't putting out so easily.

He thinks the anti-French attitude might be a problem for him getting some trim. But he thought with the protest he might find some sympathetic American hippy.

Sitting in Hamburger Hamlet, we talked about the places we've traveled and places we've been. He told me his family was very poor when he was growing up. His father was a painter. An artist who had to paint houses to make a living and found it difficult to pursue his art. His mother was a teacher who had an affair with his father's wealthier boss.

When his father found out, he burned all his paintings, but said nothing to her because he was afraid he'd lose his job and his kids would starve.

He told me when he was a teenager, he and his father went for a drive together to his father's childhood village. They met all his old friends and distant relatives. Then on the long drive back his father taught him how to drive.

Then his father slept while he drove.

Several days away from home he pulls over to let his father drive and it turns out his father had died in his sleep.

He had to drive for a couple of days with his dad dead in the car.

He told me after his mother had given all his dad's stuff away, she discovered all these paintings his dad had secretly been painting hidden in a cabinet.

When his mother moved in with the boss he moved out and traveled with runaway friends.

Now he works as an insurance broker to artists and galleries.

I was very moved by his story and after the meal he picked up the check. If I knew he was paying I would have eaten more.

We exchanged addresses and both headed out into street separately through the crowd.

I went to Frontier Wok to eat more. I took in a book about Woody Allen to read but couldn't get into it and just thought about my new friend and his journeys and stories.

I think people all over the world are basically the same, or atleast can find common things to talk about over a meal.

Maybe if more people could have sex there'd be less war in the world.

I got an e-mail today from a great friend from my past. She is a very successful person in work and life who I always enjoyed being around.

I met her in Texas and we became fast friends. Wow, this was many years ago. I haven't talked with her in quite some time, but with a few e-mails back and forth, feel like time has stood still.

I was very happy to hear from her yet sad that life has taken us on different roads.

I sometimes think about bands that stay together and seem to be friends for the longest time and I wonder why can't I have friendships like that?

It has to be me...

They only thing that pops into my head was when I was young... Maybe about 5 years old, my mother fearing that I was too excitable or something told me that I should not stay to long around people cause I would "wear out my welcome" basically meaning people can only talk me in small bits of time.

That hurt me and always has, but I can't seem to shake it. Sometimes I try and break that feeling by staying around a small amount time longer than I feel comfortable, but them it seems forced and I become nervous and people pick that up and...

I've worn out my welcome.

I too get sick of myself. I'm always trying to leave my own presence.

I think that's where my depression comes in... In that I'm angry with myself for annoying me.

I'm always letting myself down and making bad choices doing what seems to be some sort of self inflicted harm.

Like earlier tonight a girl who I think is very attractive actually came over and sat at my table in a restaurant and wanted to know what I was reading and asked me all sorts of personal information.

When she got the facts, she asked me if I would be interested in going to see a movie or hanging out...

I told her I was married!

I couldn't believe those words were coming out of my mouth.

I was blatantly lying to her and hurting myself, cause I would actually love to be going out with her.

She got all embarrassed and left.

Then my friend the manager came over and asked me what had happened as she had been previously asking him about me. He had already told her I was single and a good friend.

So I don't know what this girl is thinking now...

But it's best for her since I'm not really a great catch at this time.

Boy, it sure would be nice to hold somebody, even for a little while, drive to the beach at night, watch the stars, or even go beat up some fags and blowup an Islamic Mosque.

It's the little things that mean so much to me.

Man, what a day to wake up alive...

Author George Plimpton dies.

His 'Paper Lion' was one of the first books I remember reading for pleasure when I was a kid.

My brothers took me to see the movie based on the book. Then I saw it on the book rack at the Drugstore and had to get it.

Singer Robert Palmer dies at age 54.

54!

One of my favorite playwrights, Herb Gardner of such comedies as "A Thousand Clowns", "I'm Not Rappaport," has died. He was 68.

Ever see, the Dustin Hoffman film, "Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying All Those Terrible Things About Me?"? Herb did that too.

And I never even mentioned Gordon Jump dying...

That's because it was pointed out to me by and older relative of mine that I must be getting old, because all I seem to do now is talk about who died.

Oh, and the weather.

I talked with author and acting teacher, Jeremiah Comey Yesterday, you may remember him from my radio interview (which you can now listen to...) about his book and acting school.

I plan on attending one of his classes this next week. It will be nice to meet him in person.

His book is very popular around here. I get many e-mails about the interview and how much his book is helping actors.

I had been watching a documentary on filmmaker Henry Jaglom, when in the film Jaglom mentions Jeremiah. So I just had to call him.

We'll see what happens. I'm not looking to be an actor, though I've appeared in many films. It's just something to do to get out of the house and learn something new.

But then if I can just get a nice gig on a TV Series, that would be great!

While celebrating at a Recall/Debate Party last night... One where anytime a candidate speaks with an accent you drink a shot... It occurred to me that California if not the entire American Future is really in trouble.

I was in trouble cause I couldn't find my car keys, or could I even walk, but then I realized I was already home and didn't actually need to drive anywhere.

I rarely drink. But when I do, I like the hard stuff. With little umbrellas in the glass.

I was talking with a telemarketer last night before the Debate, about how I love sleeping.

I do.

She said, "Don't you have any higher goals in life?"

I know that so much time is wasted sleeping, but I love to dream.

I was telling this poor gal who was trying to sell me something, how I would love to sleep in different exotic lands. Just travel to exciting places and sleep in different Hotels.

Mmmm. Sleep.

My next door neighbor was complaining to me about bugs in her apartment and how our landlord doesn't have anyone come and spray. I told her about these bug-bombs I use where you set them off and leave your place for a day and when you come back you vacuum up the little corpses.

Well, I guess she did it because all her bugs have now moved in with me.

I rolled over in bed and as my knees clanked together I crunched a hard shell beetle between them. It freaked me out cause I thought it might be a spider, so I flipped on the light and there was a gooey yellow mess on both knees.

Yellow!

Like that bug had been eating baby food or something. Gross!

In Minnesota, two teenagers were shot by a fellow student in another school shooting.

The 15-year-old shooter apparently picked his targets at random.

The shooting suspect, John Jason McLaughlin, is son of a sergeant in the local sheriff's office and a quiet, withdrawn teenager, who was teased because of his acne.

It would suck to be killed by some kid because of his acne.

Yes, another acne related death...

Teasing is horrible. I'm surprised I haven't shot anyone... Yet!

I've been reading, actually rereading Eric Lax' Woody Allen Biography... To kind of erase the horror I read in Mia Farrow's book.

In it I discovered that at one time Woody was out here in Hollywood writing on some show with Neil Simon and his brother Danny and that they worked in the same building I used to go in to record movie trailer voice-overs on Hollywood and Vine, now known as Bob Hope Square.

Just never think of him out here...

He'd love it that there are so many young Asian girls living here now.

I would take him to Hollywood Thai, but those girls are probably too old for him.

I got a press release from a author that really caught my attention.

I can't get this gal outa my head.

She has written a whole bunch of books about vampires and werewolves, plus she makes soundtracks to listen to while reading her books.

And if that's not enough she makes movies based on her books. She also writes plays and has them performed with her own group of actors.

Sure these books are probably not bestsellers, but she seems to be having a blast cranking out her stuff.

She really appears to have some kinda drive.

I just got the news that MTV pulled the plug on Tom Green's Talk Show. I know a lot of Thai people who are gonna be mad because whenever I was Hollywood Thai, they had that show playing on the big screen. Thai people must love Tom.

Barbra Streisand says she's bored by her own songs. So now we do have something in common.

Melissa Gilbert, a former child star on TV series "Little House on the Prairie," won a second two-year term as president of the Screen Actors Guild, months after she led a failed effort to merge the union with AFTRA.

I need some more Union work, I am so late on paying my dues.

Pistol missing from John Wayne collection at the same time Ben Affleck seeks Gun Permit? And the Phil Spector Case is ruled a Homicide... Just a cowinky-dink?

I received a wonderful present from my actress neice in Missouri in the mail today, local honey and some soy-nuts with Cajun style flavor. I will be trying it today.

You know I use to be so annoyed by Martha Stewart, now after the TV movie and all her troubles, I never miss her show and even peruse her magazine.

I was so excited the other day when I saw that Christopher Lowell has a new book out about decorating small spaces.

With all my interest in decorating... I still live in a dump.

A messy dump.

Looks like our California Recall is getting recalled...

Politics is too rough to understand or even participate in... For me anyway.

Walt Disney is kicking Walt Disney Animation Japan to the curb, its the Tokyo-based animation studio that pooped out "Piglet's Big Movie", "The Tigger Movie", and "101 Dalmatians II: Patch's London Adventure."

103 local animators and artists are on their own.

Better start taking 3D classes and just forget 2D.

Sad.

King Kong looks to have Naomi Watts to monkey around with...

She's the Australian actress, from David Lynch's "Mulholland Dr." Universal Pictures' "King Kong" by filmmaker Peter Jackson is the film to wait for now.

Watts would play Ann Darrow, an American actress who makes a living performing in Broadway song and dance shows in Depression-era New York.

The role was immortalized by Fay Wray in the original 1933 classic.

Peter Jackson will be making quite a chunk of change on this on...

$20 Million plus 20% with bonuses.

"Would you like Fries with your Shake?"

I've noticed lately whenever I see a couple, they really don't seem happy together. They sit not talking with each other or just stare into space.

This saddens me.

I seem to remember people who used to be happy.

Maybe times are just tough and people are too stressed to be happy.

Whenever I watch Extreme Dating or the Fifth Wheel, or any other crappy dating show... They seem like they're having a good time.

But then they do seem to be non humans on those shows.

I was hanging out at a party at the Equestrian Center in Burbank watching hot young rich girls in tight riding pants bouncing up and down with horses between their legs... It was a good party.

Boy they have some money at that place.

I think it should be just as easy for me to meet a rich lady as it is for me to meet a poor one. I just need to figure out what a rich gal is interested in... Other than money.

Well that idea isn't taking me anywhere.

Last night I dreamed the the Galileo Satellite burned up in Jupiter's atmosphere and it's soul or ghost came to visit me. It hovered over my bed blinking and scanning my room. It kept making noises like it's solar panels squeaking searching for the sun, so I lead it outside. Then it began tapping on my bedroom window wanting back in. I opened the curtain to see it with it's satellite nose pressed up against the glass fogging my window and dripping tears of sadness on my porch.

I leaned over to open the window and scratch its cute little head and rolled off the bed and woke up.

It seemed so real and possible.

Then it just felt stupid.

Yesterday I purchased a book I used to have at one time and then sold, but I always missed having that book around.

I would keep forgetting that I sold it it a state of desperation. When I needed any amount of money I could find to stay afloat.

So when I found it again it was like a message in a bottle coming back to me. A message from my past saying, "Hello again."

Sometimes books are like friends.

I know there are some books that many wouldn't even think were very good, but I find myself reading and rereading. Again and again, finding new things between the words.

I used to have a habit of stashing my money in books. Then forget about it only to wonder later if during the yard sale if some lucky person had found a treasure in the book they bought off me.

Sometimes I even find money hidden in books. Mostly Foreign money, but still it's nice.

I like finding old love letters and pictures hidden and forgotten by the previous owners. But money is the best thing to find.

But it's rare to find those things in new books.

I used to know a gal who would buy a stash of old postcards in a flea market and then write a fictitious letter to someone and hide then in random books that she sold at her used book shop. That was just some of the ways she killed time.

I haven't talked with talk show host George Noory in some time, but I did talk with Art Bell via shortwave and am excited to announce he's coming back to radio on weekends. Hopefully KFIAM-640 here in Los Angeles will carry it.

I had a brief meeting Yesterday with a Radio Executive about my radio/film show being carried on Satellite radio. I'm not going to hold my breath, but it's nice to be wanted.

My dreams continue to be very intense and real as last night I had a doosy with a reoccurring female character I've come to know fairly well. Our relationship has grown and last night found myself actually making love with her.

When I awoke, I was extremely sadden to realize it had been just a dream.

But happy too, because I wasn't wearing a condom and feel I shouldn't fear impregnating her in the dreamworld.

However, this morning I seem to have arrived with a slight rash on my penis and lipstick smeared on my face.

Yesterday while shooting some footage for a video I'm doing about a Gardener who happens to be using a leaf blower when all hell breaks loose with a Lesbian Pool Party, Robert Duvall was awarded his own star on Hollywood's prestigious Walk of Fame.

It's my spoof of "Once upon a Time in Mexico" called, "Juan's Porno Time in Mexico".

It should be fun for all.

Juan's character is visiting Hollywood and stumbles into Robert Duvall's ceremony and gets a landscaping job to some Hollywood types.

Duvall, 72, just happens to be in the background and has no idea he's in my movie, but... I'm a huge fan of his.

I hope no litigation befalls this project.

Tomorrow we shoot an effects sequence that involves Juan using two leaf blowers tied together as a jet pack enabling him to fly an perform a rescue of trapped teenage lesbians from a burning building that wins him his key to the city, yet no green card.

Sad, but our hero prevails...

I just read that NASA is thinking of Apollo-style capsules replacing shuttles.

That might be a nice retro treat. They certainly didn't have as many troubles with those capsules... Or did they?

I hope they also change the spacesuits into something with huge fin like shoulder pads and thigh high boots... Hell, get the Queer Eye Guys to completely redo NASA.

People are constantly amazed here in Hollywood that I still refuse to get a cellphone.

I tell you it's hard not to have one when you are in such demand and when you have to be on-call as much as I am.

But now scientists are saying cell phones may spread hospital infections... That diseases may actually be transmitted by the spread spectrum. Well, it is called "Cell" phones.

While I'm not using a cell phone I am protecting myself with an aluminum foil scull cap.

Visiting my local Natural History Museum... Oh wait, I mean the Nature Store. I overheard that scientists have found fossils of the earliest land plants. No word on whether they also have carbon dated the earliest known bong fossils.

Benjamin Bratt will play Halle Berry's love interest in "Catwoman," the film based on the DC Comics antiheroine of "Batman" fame. Halle Berry is probably a good choice. In my apartment building we have a lady they call, "Catwoman" but it's because she's an overweight, single, lonely, gal with about 13 cats and a huge collection of "Family Circus" cartoons.

A Rubens exhibit in London gives insight into the mind of a genius... No not Paul "Pee Wee Herman" Rubens. Peter Paul Rubens was one of my favorite Flemish artists who died in 1640. My other favorites died 1625 and 1688, but that's another story.

His "The Assumption of the Virgin" makes me woosy.

Sweden's broadcasting watchdog said it was censuring an Oprah Winfrey talk show for showing bias toward a U.S. military attack on Iraq. The Swedish government strongly opposed the U.S. invasion of Iraq, saying it lacked a U.N. Security Council mandate.

I predict a boycott on Swedish Meatballs, but not a boycott on The Swedish Bikini Team.

I feel I'm ready to move to another country. I find myself getting angrier and angrier. This low level stress of living here in fear is eating at me. I catch myself sitting traffic yelling and screaming and having tantrums, it would probably be worse if I were infact in my car at the time. Motorists are always yelling at me to get out of the street.

I would love to find a island, a hut, a nice tropical girl to teach me of the ways of turning fruit products into skin care items and turning coconuts into cell phones.

But I hate sand and the sun hurts my sensitive skin, plus I can't swim. And I'm allergic to citrus.

I do like the sound of the surf. It makes me sleepy. I have a surf sound generating machine next to my bed that sooths me and makes me wet the bed.

I need to figure out what I want in my life...

Well, I got a nice surprise Yesterday. I won a directing gig for a documentary on a historic publishing house in Hollywood. Nice needed bit of change for me.

I might also be shooting a project using HD cameras for my first time. After watching my friend Fred Olen Ray using the same cameras Robert Rodriguez uses, my appetite was wettened.

I still have yet to see, "Once Upon a Time in Mexico", but a friend said he saw it being projected in a Digital theater and said I need to see it in that format.

That same friend by they way is a UPS driver whose wife is a pretty cool lady. They have a teenage daughter who is in a rock band of her own, The wife is pretty wild. While hanging out at Jumbo's Clown Room a strip club that Courtney Love use to strip in, the wife jumped up on stage with another girl and stripped. Then I guess the security guys wrestled her off and had her arrested.

That's a wild wife and outstanding parent.

Los Angeles has a ban on lap dancing now. Just when I'm single and ready to attend a strip club, this has to happen. If only I had taken advantage of this opportunity earlier. But now? Why go?

TV Evangelist Garner Ted Armstrong Dies at 73... I remember growing up watching him. My brother was really into everything he said. We use to get all his writing and stuff sent to us.

It really helped me out in my life that's for sure.

I've been reading alot of books lately about writing guides and systems. It's kinda fun. Just completely distracts you from actually writing. But I noticed a couple of interesting new software programs that supposedly help you keep track of your writing that look neat. I might like to try those to see how they work or if they work or if I actually have to do the work...

There's all this new data about "How You Sleep Reveals Who You Are"... Crap! I sleep basically one way and that way they say means I'm a bald, 40 year old, divorced loser... Hey wait... That's kinda accurate.

Damn science IS something! If only they could use this power for good...

Anyone that knows me knows I like shopping at Wal-Mart. Now here's a funny idea...

Playboy Enterprises invited Wal-Mart employees to pose nude for a photo series on its Internet site, great marketing idea since the world's largest retailer won't sell Playboy magazines on its shelves.

I just hope none of the Wal-Mart employees I deal with pose. That'd be scary!

Still reading the Mia Farrow book after a break because some friends made fun of me for reading it. But there was a cool bit in there about Dali and Mia being such good friends.

She was telling him how hard it was for her to find work as an actor. This was when she was probably seventeen years old. Dali said to her, "If you want dramatic change in your life, wear your shoes on the opposite feet."

So Mia puts her shoes on the other feet and then instantly gets a movie gig that later leads to Peyton Place.

I'm now wearing my shoes on the other foot...

Well?

Maybe it's too early to be getting calls. I'll do this later.

I had a dream earlier that I got a radio job that lead to a better life for me.

We'll see if that happens.

While talking with an English Gal tonight about her life as a single woman in Hollywood, I began seeing just how hard it could be for a lady out here.

She told me about coming here to work in Hollywood when she was a teenager and just getting caught up in trying to keep from starving. Her dreams put on hold. Working bad jobs to pay bills. Not wanting to get in to relationships or have kids because of her drive for a career.

Now she feels she's too old to have kids or even find a good man who isn't already married or Gay.

She told me about her younger sisters in England and Paris who already have families. And how sad she is that she's missing out on seeing those kids grow.

She said she was trying to save up money from temp work to take a trip back home.

I hope she makes it to where ever she'll be happy.

I had planned on seeing some films today or Yesterday as I look at the clock, but I just stayed put listening to her thinking maybe there was a lesson for me in her talk.

In Barnes and Noble in Burbank I came to the conclusion that pigs use the bathrooms there, or B&N are too cheap to hire help to clean their bathrooms.

There was standing water (or something) on the floor and unflushed toilets.

That can't be safe for the kids section that's right next to it.

I was listening to Henry Jaglom talk on a tape of mine about how if you are uncompromising in your life, "How can you not be uncompromising in your art?"

I was surprised at how many John Ritter movies I have...

Sling Blade

Stephen King's It

They All Laughed

Americathon

Nickelodeon

Night That Panicked America

The Other

He really was a cool guy. Good actor.

I wonder what ABC will do with that show?

8 Simple Rules on Dating My Daughters, Is that the name? Maybe they could have the wife marry a new guy and he is a bad step-dad and lets the girls do whatever they want and all the pressure is put on Peg Bundy to raise the girls.

Or ABC will just cancel it.

If they had guts or was cool in their cross promotion they would say John Ritter's character was killed in a runaway roller-coaster ride at Disneyland... As a way to explain his role becoming absent from the show.

Man I need to run a studio.

What have I done to have sleep betray me so?

After a long day of work and eye pain I sleep, but only for a few cranky hours.

I wake and head out bored into the night to visit my Thai friends.

I eat BBQ Pork and watch Thai girls sing songs by The Cranberries and Toad the Wet Sproket to an unusually empty room.

After last call for alcahol the room slips into negitive space.

I head off onto Hollywood Blvd and thought about how far off the movie, "Strange Days" was and how close.

I pulled into Ralph's and bought a pumkin pie and saw a young couple making out in the aisle.

Romantic.

I sat in my car in the parking lot and had a few bites while listening to the Jack Benny show on KNX. I saw a homeless man stealing a shopping cart.

Coming down from the mountain into the Valley my car windows completely and quickly fogged up. I barley got them under control before it got scary. I caught a glimps of a coyote walking across in front of me.

Passing Bob's Big Boy I realized, if you are going to get married in a restaurant, make it one that's not your favorite hangout. Because when you get a divorce you'll find it difficult to eat there.

I pass by and see many young happy couples... Or is that just what they want me to think?

John Lennon's widow Yoko Ono could end up stark naked on a Paris stage as she performs her one-woman art show "Cut Piece", in which members of the audience are to cut off pieces of her clothing.

Ono, 70,... I forgot what I was going to say...

Last night was a frightening night. About 2AM I had a horrible dream that some demons were taking a branding iron or a fireplace poker... Getting it red hot then sticking it in my eyes.

I woke up of course.

And my eyes had really been jammed with a red hot poker.

Well, they felt that way anyhow.

I had to get a cold compress and try and cool those peepers down.

I was trying to think of what have I done to deserve this pain? Have I seen something I shouldn't have? Did Mars really do this to me for looking through that telescope? Have I downloaded too much porn?

Is it my eyes punishing me for not putting them to good use creating art?

David Letterman to become a father at 56... Well, there might be hope for me. I have been saving my semen and freezing it for a later date, or wealthy Lesbian.

Bolshoi Theater has promoted a large Ballerina in its company. That's pretty good for the plus size people to have that going for them. The Dancer is unfortunately too heavy for the male dancers to lift over their heads without accidentally fisting her.

As I was mentioning in an earlier post... I've been reading "What Falls Away" by Mia Farrow.

Come to think of it, maybe that's the reason for my eye trouble.

There's a great thing in there about Mia's mother Maureen O'Sullivan working with the chimp from the old Tarzan films and how she used to refer to him as "That Bastard".


Well it seems that hardest-working chimp in showbiz is spending his twilight years in California.

Cheeta, the chimp who starred in the classic Tarzan movies of the '30s and '40s, when he swung through the jungle with Johnny Weissmuller and Maureen O'Sullivan.

At age 71, the retired chimp has been forced to give up his favorite pleasures...beer at about a case a day! Oh, and cigars.

The suds stopped flowing for the 4-foot-6, 142-pound primate after animal activist Brigitte Bardot complained the brew could damage his health.

Cheeta's owner, Dan Westfall, says the chimp still gets to go to a drive-in restaurant, where he enjoys dining on hamburgers and Coke.

Cheeta is one of the most famous residents of Desert Springs, an oasis 100 miles west of Los Angeles.

Tour guides say there is almost as much interest in him as in the old homes of local icons Bob Hope, Frank Sinatra and Lucille Ball.

Chimpanzees usually live to 40 or 45 in the wild, while those in captivity reach the mid-50s. But Cheeta, the world's oldest chimp shows no sign of slowing down.

"He's in excellent condition," Westfall reports.

During his many years in Hollywood, Cheeta worked longer than any other trained chimp, who rarely act after age 10 because they become too hard to manage.

Cheeta's last screen appearance was in 1967, when he played opposite Rex Harrison in "Doctor Dolittle."

No word on who he's gunning for in the Recall Election, but I think I know who...

Is this true? I just heard this on the radio...

Actor John Ritter, has died.

Details of the circumstances of his death were not immediately available.

Ritter was best known for his portrayal of Jack in the 1970s situation comedy "Three's Company" and recently he starred in the series "8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter," a centerpiece of broadcaster ABC's upcoming fall schedule.

John Ritter was the son of country singer and actor Tex Ritter.

This is so sad. I loved that guy.

Another 9-11 tragedy. It just keeps piling on...

Still feeling the eye pain today.

So needless to say I missed the 9-11 tributes. It's
probably best for me, I seem to get too emotional
about this kind of tragedy.

I tried seeing a Doctor today, but was unable to get
an appointment. There are just too many sick people
out here I guess.

I wonder if I'm eligible for medical marijuana?

Tommy Chong, one half of the pot-happy duo, was
sentenced Thursday to nine months in federal prison
and fined $20,000 for peddling bongs and other drug
accoutrement's over the Internet.

The 65-year-old comedian was busted last February for
operating an online head shop and was the first to
plead guilty as part of Operation Pipe Dreams,
Attorney General John Ashcroft's crackdown on black
market distributors of drug paraphernalia over the
Web.

Drug Enforcement Administration agents smoked out
Chong after purchasing bongs and other pot props from
Chong Glass, the now defunct Website run by Nice
Dreams Enterprises, which takes its name after one of
Cheech and Chong's stoner comedies.

The goods were then delivered to an undercover shop in
Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania, a small, conservative town
northwest of Pittsburgh that doesn't take kindly to
potheads, even famous ones.

Investigators impounded those and other Chong Glass
wares, including "thousands of marijuana bongs and
pipes," after conducting raids in his Gardena,
California, offices and other head shops around the
county.

This is so sad. Is this part of the war on terrorism?

My x-wife will be happy today knowing her fav actor
Christian Bale will don the cape and mask in a film
that will chronicle the early career of The Dark
Knight.

"Memento" filmmaker Christopher Nolan will direct the
movie, which is set to begin filming in early 2004.

Bale, 29, made his breakthrough in Steven Spielberg's
"Empire of the Sun" in 1987, playing a boy trying to
survive in a Japanese-run POW camp in China.

His other credits include "Swing Kids" (1993), "Velvet
Goldmine" (1998) and "Shaft" (2000). Bale's most
infamous role was as the yuppie serial-killer in
2000's "American Psycho."

Yeah, he's great.



ANALOGIES & METAPHORS FOUND IN HIGH SCHOOL ESSAYS

--He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from
experience, like a guy who went blind because he
looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the
country speaking at high schools about dangers of
looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes
with a pinhole.

--Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black
dots in the center.

--Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

--He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

--Hailstones leaped off the pavement, just like
maggots fried in hot grease.

--Long separated by cruel fate, the lovers raced
toward each other across the grassy field like two
freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m.
at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a
speed of 35 mph.

--A politician was gone, unnoticed, like the dot after
Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.


--The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the
sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage
during the storm scene in a play.

--The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red
Crayola crayon.

--He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant
and she the East River.

--Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a
steel trap, only one that had been left out so long,
it had rusted shut.

--The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil.
But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

--The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you
get from not eating.
-
-He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame
duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame.
Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

--Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like
someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's
Not Butter.

--She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that
sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

--It came down the stairs looking like something no
one had ever seen before.

--The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended
one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire
hydrant.

--The revelation that his marriage of 30 yrs had
disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as
a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly Free ATM.

--The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an
oscillating electric fan set on medium.

--It was an American tradition, like fathers playfully
chasing kids around with power tools.

--She was as easy as the "TV Guide" crossword.

--She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and
he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

--She walked into my office like a centipede with 98
missing legs.

Tuesday was a horrible day toward the evening. I began having severe eye pain.

My eyes swelled up and Wednesday morning I couldn't open my eyes. The pain was like needles anytime I moved my eyes around under my lids. It was almost like sand was up in there.

I flushed my eyes out with drops, but no use. I completely emptied a whole bottle of drops and no luck.

I just laid around with a cool wash clothe over my eyes all day. In pain.

They still hurt but I can't sleep.

I've been listening to some radio... George Noory, then old radio dramas from the 40's and 50's like The Shadow and Suspense.

Even with my eyes all sore I still have the need to read. So I picked up Mia Farrow's What Falls Away and learned alot about her life.

Then I read some of Weirdsville, USA about the life and films of David Lynch.

Now I'm irradiating my eyes with the computer screen to write to you.

Mia Farrow's book is really good. It makes me feel manly to be reading this... I don't know why. She's a pretty interesting lady. I'd really like to know her.

Woody Allen is a big part of her story, but so are many great people of our time. She knew a lot of interesting folk.

I read that Woody has already been working on a new project and his latest, "Anything Else" isn't even out yet.

Looks like Winona Ryder has dropped out or got fired from Woody's new film starring Robert Downey Jr. and Will Ferrell.

Robert Downey Jr.'s remake of "The Singing Detective" looks pretty cool with Mel Gibson all bald and in old age make-up.

Prosecutors plan to show a videotape of the woman who has accused Kobe Bryant of rape as well as photographs of her injuries at a hearing next month. I wonder what kind of video this is? Who is the director?

Ridley Scott has supervised the new edit of "Alien," which adds about six minutes of footage deleted from the original release. The main addition is an "alien-nest" scene during the film's climax, when star Sigourney Weaver discovers the horrifying fate of two missing crew members, Tom Skerritt and Harry Dean Stanton.

According to the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory... Edward Teller, the father of the hydrogen bomb, died a few days after suffering a stroke, Teller was 95. Dead, or is that just what they want you to think?

Well, it's 9/11 again and I think I've cried enough lately. I must now do something today that will make me thankful to be alive and among the living.

Maybe we should all do something good for ourselves and each other.

I'm going to close my eyes for awhile and try to think of something good to do.

From a friend that knows I spend time in restaurants...


Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around I saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"


"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired a consulting firm to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."


As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed!


I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"


"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."


"After you get it out, how do you put it back?"


"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Today I got notice that I am named in a possible Lawsuit by RIAA for the unlawful downloading of music. I haven't actually seen the documents so I can not say for sure what it's all about.

I rarely downloaded any mp3's other than old radio shows and audio books. I have many mp3's available of my own personal work that I've made available for others to download, so maybe there is some confusion on their part.

Anyway...

While shooting some video today a friend introduced me to a young guy who has a thin piece of wire that he slips into a parking meter and is able to ring up minutes and even hours of free time. I've never seen anything like it. I was excited and then worried about just being seen standing next to him while he performed this act. I wondered just how big a trouble he'd be in for if he were caught?

It's getting close to September 11th and tonight on PBS I was watching Ric Burns' documentary about New York and they showed the planes crashing and people leaping to their deaths. Then when they showed the towers collapsing...

I had a swarm of horrible feelings come over me and I started crying very hard...

Very hard...

I really don't know what came over me.

I remember back to that morning not being able to find where my wife's plane, or even her... were.

I remember the call from American Airlines telling me to stay by the phone.

I remember the Hotel where she had been, telling me she had already flown out.

I remember my friend Aaron coming over to help me handle all that was going on.

I remember all the days she and I were apart while she went through Flight Training to be a Flight Attendant just like her mother.

I remember knowing how it feels to have her die...

...and then hours later to have her alive when she's found.

I remember feeling the pain of not being able to see her for what seemed like weeks after this because all flights were canceled.

I remember how American provided them all with therapy for those days and how I had none.

I remember the feelings of the marriage slipping away.

The divorce.

The silence.

It all came rushing into me like a train.

I want to hide.

I want everyone who is mean to die.

Kill them all.

and...

I still want to love them all.

To tell them that there is no cause for their anger.

Your anger is eating you. I don't want this anger to eat at me.

So I will instead love you.

But this love will not make me weak. I will love you even though you are hating us. I will love you when you are teaching your children to throw stones at us, or blow themselves up.

And I will still love you when armies wipe you off the face of the Earth.

But I will love you from a far.

This has been a pretty fun weekend.

Except for the heat.

I went to Hollywood Thai Saturday night to visit my friend and his wife.

They didn't show up.

But another friend was there and we had a good time watching Thai girls sing and dance.

The Thai girl I met there a few weeks ago no longer works there, I think the hours are too long for some of the gals. The place doesn't close until after 4AM.

I hung out with my friend til almost 4AM. He showed me some back streets and secret passageways around Thai Town as they call it, but I think it really is Little Armenia.

I came home a little buzzed from a long day of working and I thought I would just crash, but Robert Altman's "Ginger Man" was on TV and I kinda got into it. So I watched that and then engaged my hypnosis mp3's and slid off into the inner lake of dreams.

My dreams have been so intense.

One dream was I was told by (God?) that I had been assigned a spiritual guide to take my on a mystical journey. The best part was my Guru was Robert Evans. He was great. He had so many bits of wisdom that he imparted onto me that I could write a book... If I had only written them down, because I've already forgotten them.

I woke up sweating from the heat at 3PM. I couldn't believe I had slept so well.

I spent some of the day reading a new catalog sent to me by Lindsay Publications. I love that company. They have the coolest books. Books on building lathes and drill presses all the way to building stills and telescopes and atom splitters. I was at Coral Cafe later tonight and the waitress asked what I was reading and I passed the catalog over to her and she also got into it.

The catalog is a blast to read because the writer of the comments about the books seems to have a similar type of humor I have, or the type I like anyway.

I'm making a list of books I'm going to get. To add to their books I already have...

I was at my local Wal-Mart tonight. Well, local by way of Panorama City.

It was packed as usual. But while in line to check out I got to play with a little Hispanic baby boy. Just a fresh straight out of the oven baby. I was have a ball making him smile. The mother seemed not to mind the two of us goofy around. He would smile and his pacifier would pop out. She's snap it back in and then I'd smile. He'd smile. Pop it out again.

All this fun and I still had time to do laundry. I like waiting to do it late at night because of all the heat in the day-time.

While washing everything I own is a great feeling once it's done. Sweating while doing it is not.

Hanging out once the clothes are in the dryer, I got to stare at the stars.

I really want to find a nice place to live outside of a city where I can see all the stars. Build a neat telescope and just live for the night.

For some reason Blogger has been down and I haven't been able to post.

But, my life has been pretty boring lately anyway.

I came across a book called, "Georgia O'Keeffe: A Portrait by Alfred Stieglitz"... I was kind of mesmerized. I always thought that O'Keeffe was old and sort of homely. But, after seeing these nude photos of her and reading excepts from her diary... I think she was some kinda babe. I was very moved by her story of searching out art in New York and traveling back home to Texas to find hers. There really isn't any difference in the way she talked that's any different than any young person trying to find their way living the art life today.

There's a nude torso photo of her that I can't get out of my head. There's also shots of just her hands that's very moving to me.

There is some text she writes about Stieglitz asking her what she wanted to do more than anything... And she says she's like to take a whole year and just paint. Then he thinks about it real hard and says, "I think I can work that out."

And he figured out a way for her to do that. Cool!

Someone please tell me.

David Blaine, one of my favorite illusionist and street magicians, began his latest publicity stunts, entering a plastic box where he will attempt to live without food for more than six weeks.

I thought I would try it at the same time and follow along, but without the plastic box, or the starvation part, just the hanging out in London dating supermodels part.

I found the perfect editor for my novels...

You just have to look past the mistakes he made in the bootleg Spanish- language version of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," on sale five months ahead of its official publication date.

Sloppy translation mistakes abound in the edition, sold by street vendors for the equivalent of 18.70 dollars.

The anonymous translator admits to his shortcomings: on page 33 it says "you gave him 'the old one-two' (I'm sorry, I didn't understand what that meant)."

On page 37 the translator warns: "Here comes something that I'm unable to translate, sorry." And on page 195 the translator admits not knowing how to translate the word 'breathy.'

The cover looks exactly like the English-language version, on sale since June 23, and the book is 777 pages long, compared to 870-page English-language version.

Bootleg "Order of the Phoenix" books have flooded several Latin American cities over the past weeks.

Two people were arrested in Chile and charged with being behind the bootleg issues. But they couldn't fill out the Police Reports correctley (sic).

I hope they make a Spanish Film Version of this bootleg... They should hire Jesus Franco to direct it. I'd watch it!

This town is kinda funny...

While setting at a series of Red lights and intersections Yesterday, I noticed several TYPES of people and how they act when crossing in front of you.

There were the teenage kids who walk real slow, or limp like a rapper and stare at you like you owe them something.

There is the Fashion Model thinking she's on a runway, swinging her hips and pouting for you.

There's the guy who looks at you like you've pulled too far into his walking space.

There's the young mother dragging her little baby who smiles the big toothless smile and waves at you because the baby thinks you are paying attention... Which I was...

Does anybody really care that Affleck and Lopez have set their Wedding date? Anyone other that the folks at the Strip Club after Party...

Are we still at war?

Well, I hope you had a wonderful Labor Day...

I couldn't wait to open my Labor Day presents, so I opened them on Labor Eve. Very happy with the workers overalls and the work boots.

Finally saw Kevin Kostner's, "Open Range" and really liked it. I saw it in a really big new theater in Burbank. The picture was huge and bright. The crowd really got into it.

My favorite Chinese place was closed on Labor Day, so I headed over to another place in Toluca Lake called, Toluca Gardens. There were some very funny Thai girls working there. One girl told me how all the kids in her family are named after cars. Her name is Fiat and her brother is named Jeep. She said her parents are kind of nuts. She was very nice and cool. Her favorite bands are Smashing Pumpkin and Radiohead.

I made some more hypnosis tapes and had some great results. The dreams have been fantastic.

I saw the Jerry Lewis Telethon raises record $60.5M, but every time I tried to watch it Jerry's look freaked me out. He looks like a swollen William Shatner. Very Scary.

Giant asteroid seen nearing Earth in 2014 so we have that to look forward to after all this Mars mania.

James Bond actor Pierce Brosnan has won a legal battle to claim the Internet Web site bearing his name. Cyber-squatting foiled again by Bond, James Bond.

Charles Bronson Dead! I can't believe it, well, actually I guess I can... Still sad though. I first remember watching him in the 3D Classic, "House of Wax". I thought he was terrific in, "The Indian Runner".

Got a really nice couple of e-mails from some gals responding to my personals ad. Very funny stuff was written in those e-mails... We'll see how they go.