How can I love you more...

...than I already do now?

I think about you all the time. I think of you when I sit in my chair and stare off into space. I think of you when I'm walking alone in the snow or rain, or when I'm shopping for groceries, or sitting alone in the theatre wishing I was holding your hand.

When I wake there is that momentary sadness when I realize you have faded away and the bed is empty after we have made love, held each other, kissed and talked in whispers about our future wants and desires. I can feel your hand, fingers entwined, slowly melt away from mine. I can feel your skin against mine all warm become cool as you drift away. I can feel the pulse from your neck as your head, once on my chest, become my heartbeat.

I'm sorry you couldn't stay with me in bed, be with me when I wake and I'm sorry if I left you the same way.

I apologize if I have left you, I want to be with you when you wake. I want you to be able to keep the flowers I picked for you when we walked through the garden along the ruins of the castle we found in the mist.

Please forgive me for entering your dreams and promising you I'd stay with you even after we woke for the day.

Thank you for spending a wonderful time with me in my dream. I loved every precious moment of being able to do all we wanted, have all wishes come true and to hold you and feel you and hear you whisper, "I love you so much," in my ear.

I love you for coming, finding me, spending your time with me, making love to me and making my dreams feel so real. Better than real. Even though I'm awake now, I feel you with me in my heart and in my head. I feel you with your arms wrapped around me, your hands on my chest, your thoughts and wishes as you offer guidance through the obstacles of my waking life.

I know if I can try harder, I can pull you from my dreams and pull you through the fabric of the veil that separates us from the dream world. Please help me make this real, take my hands, look into my eyes, focus on my eyes, listen to me and come. Be with me forever!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous