A smiling face hovered over me from the darkness inside and out, letting me know...
...everything would be okay!
Some wonderful feeling spilled over me and I instantly remembered the moment I was very young and at a theme park and in a roller-coaster type Haunted House and a voice inside my head that wasn't mine, said, "Don't worry, have fun, it's all just a ride!" I relaxed then. And I relaxed now, bathing in what I can only describe as love. Warm love. Like I would feel when as a baby and my mother was hugging me. All my life, I've just wanted people to like me, even love me and I discovered if I could make them laugh or smile, I would get a strange and wonderful feeling in myself for accomplishing that goal. To make someone else happy. It was like by giving love, I received love even if the person I wasn't returning it. It was like some deep pool way down in me would bubble up just by trying to be silly, or giving of myself, or joking, or shocking someone with a laugh. It was like siphoning gas out of a tank with a garden-hose, once it started flowing it would pull more out just by vacuum. It seems Nature abhors a vacuum. I have noticed in my life when I've had to move with short notice because of a job, or disaster and I've had to give away most of my possessions just to lighten the load, there was always more being given to me at the next destination to replace those items that had gone to charity. I can't tell you how many free couches and chairs and tee vees and refrigerators, I've received by caring angels over the years! Bet if you think about it, you'll find many instances in your life just like that, as well. The reoccurring dream, I've told you about so often, where I'm in a boat floating down a calm river, has a companion dream that I used to believe was because I spent a lot of time traveling across the country either flying, but mostly driving, and now I believe it was telling me that life is basically a "road movie" and we are all "On the Road" and it's not about the destination, but is as always about making the journey and easing suffering in others and ourselves.
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