Remember! Don't leave your infants or pets in the car with the windows up! I had a whole pack of gum in my glovebox go Incredible Melting Man all over my paperwork! But my car smells good anyway.

Okay, you may think this is weird, but it's been a rough hot day so I am moving the TV, splicing in more coaxial, ordering a pizza, pouring Red wine, lighting candles, dimming the lights and watching Doctor Who... IN THE TUB!!! With bath salts! Gay? I think not! I just want to treat myself.

Trouble; Not enough cable for me to see the TV from the tub. But I think I can use my full-length mirror to reflect the image, but that means Doctor Who will be reversed. Hmmm. My place is a mess now and... Oh! Pizza's here!

Isn't it strange that there are no other events in the world for the News to cover other than Michael Jackson?

I wonder who will get the kids, the Jehovah's Witnesses or the Scientologists?

Whoever invented ice cubes was a genius!

I like my Ice like I like my Women, Shaven! Then I like to squirt Bahama Mama: A fruity Pina Colada flavor! Then, on my Ice, I like Grape Flavor, too!