Had another Christmas Party for family that still wanted more.

It was really great and I needed it!

My heart was very heavy after seeing my dad earlier. He was very upset and mean. He was blaming my deceased mother, my brothers and me for holding him back in life. He blamed the Government. Everyone did him wrong and wasn't good enough for him.

I fear seeing Daniel Day Lewis in "There Will Be Blood" because in the trailer he sounds just like my dad.

Been craving Spaghetti for the longest time and last night Wanda (my sis-in-law) made some and it was AWESOME!

Then all my three nieces were together for the party and the house was warming up with babies and body heat. They are all so beautiful, I can't believe we share DNA... Why am I so fucked up? Why can't I be pretty, too?

There was so much food! All of it great!

As everyone dwindled away to their homes, I pulled out the Karaoke Machine and Yvette, my nephew's wife and I sang songs. She sang better than I did. Yvette sang Jet's "Look What You've Done," I did Cream's "Tales Of Brave Ulysses," (I did it just like this) and four year old Kendall, unable to read the lyrics transposed the only song she knows, Kelly Clarkson's "Never Again" over any and every tune that played. She can really belt out those decibels. I still have tinnitus.

It was really a great day!

Man, I needed it.