In Heaven I'm thinner...

In Heaven everything is fine!

When I first saw "Wings of Desire" I wanted so badly to be an Angel. They get to follow people around Berlin and take note of their lives.

They were like cool bloggers for God in awesome Black coats!

These wings I'm wearing are the actual wings Matt Damon wore in "Dogma" ain't that neat?

I caught myself praying today. Really. I know.

It was weird, I was desperate and worried about something, distracted and then suddenly some movement from my reflection in a mirror next to the bed made me look and I saw I was on my knees, fingers entwined...

My ass looked way too big when I was on my knees. Not a good look, that praying pose.

Thinking about it now, I was trying to remember what I was praying about. I know it had something to do with making more money, looking better and Paris Hilton, but I was picturing Jesus walking with me along the beach. The beach was probably in Ventura, cause I like the beach there. He had the whole Jesus look, but not too Al Qaeda and the robe he wore had a GAP, or Old Navy quality to it. So he didn't look all homeless or too much like a stoner.

He just seemed sweet and cool!

He listened to what I was saying and hardly ever rolled his eyes, or said, "Nigga, Please!"

In an odd way, the Jesus I was talking to was a little like Spock on "Star Trek" but he smiled way more, just not a retarded kinda smile where you think somethings wrong with the dude.

Jesus seemed real smart.

Spock-smart!