It is hard to argue with that fact that people love boobies!

They may act like they're above it all, but if I see a couple of bouncy and floppy titties in a tight T-shirt I'm just as likely to give them a stare as I would a soccer ball rolling out from between parked cars in to traffic.

It's all about safety, really. Just being conscious of my surroundings in case I have to file a police report and describe the breasts to a sketch artist.

One thing that I can't stand, is when a girl wears a T-shirt with some cool logo or covered in witty text and she gives me the rolling eyes and a huff as if I were staring at her breasts when I was plainly reading her T-shirt.

Why have anything written on your T-shirt if you don't people to read it? Put it in braille and see if you have any troubles!

Actually I'm not that crazy about breasts. I'm more of a vagina man myself. Big floppy Va Jay Jays! The bigger, sloppier, looser, the better! I like 'em after a few puppies have been squeezed out, too!

Okay that's enough!

That's just me being shocking, can't help it. It's a mental condition.

I was taking a friend and a friend of hers that was visiting to LAX and we started talking about Alec Baldwin. Her friend said something about him being an asshole, so I had to top it with reference to the answering machine recording that is so ubiquitously played in the media and whether Kim Bassinger released it to the press.

I tried to make the joke by not laying blame on Kim or Alec, so I said, "I don't think Kim or her lawyers leaked that recording to the press. I think it was their daughter, as I hear she's a little cunt."

Realize that this is a joke. It's about blaming the victim. It's about taking it in an unexpected direction.

As soon as I said the C word it was as if I crash a plane into a skyscraper inside the car. Clearly some women have more difficulty with that word that I do. If I use it, I'm a creep, but if Colin Farrell uses it, as he does in every other sentence, it's quaint.

I think my friend was shocked and embarrassed because this was the first time I had met her friend and I'm sure she was hoping for me to make a good first impression. It could have only been worse if I had said, "nappy headed cunt."

I have another friend who loves telling me stories about hackers who break codes for music files and DVDs. He says something like, "How can you make it illegal to post, print, make it T-shirts out of a series of numbers, which is what everything is when it becomes digital?"

Yet he'd be the first person to take me to task for using an inappropriate word. Isn't dirty words just letters of the alphabet arranged a certain way, really? Why do we put so much power into it?

Still, I felt bad.

If I had said it on my radio show I would've been fired.

We're living in interesting times in America. Soon, implanted chips will record our innermost inappropriate thoughts and secrets.

I believe these chips will be implanted in us without our knowledge. I believe these chips will be hidden in food we consume. I believe my belly is filled with chips as I speak. I just ate an entire can of Pringles potato chips.

I did this while watching the remake of, "The Omen." I had never seen it before, but I enjoyed it because it was filled with actors I really like. And nothing is more enjoyable than seeing a bunch of my favorite English actors getting killed in unique and unusual ways.

I think I would very much enjoy a "Final Destination" film directed by Kenneth Branagh or say a Richard Curtis. Who wouldn't enjoy a scene with Dame Judy Dench exploding like a Ziploc bag filled with Prego spaghetti sauce being hit full on by a semi truck hauling a load of timber? Isn't it about time to see Hugh Grant decapitated? How about Colin Firth being atomized by a jet engine?

I could go on.

I never thought I would do it, but I watched, "United 93" after all this time. The film is very well made, tasteful I guess, but really why does it have to be based on the real thing? Nobody really knows what happened on the plane, so why not just make it like one of those Airport movies?

I was moved. I was angry. I was sad.

So I change the channel and watched Charlie Sheen in "Hot Shots."