After numerous visits to the hospital, after a battery of tests on my blood, after a humiliating week of stool samples...

...the test results point almost conclusively to the fact that in my colon, I am a carrier of a parasite!

Instead of being freaked out, a strange and soothing calm cascaded over me. I've decided to name this parasite. Make friends with this being living inside me. I will try to communicate with it. I will try to discover its wants, its needs and its goals.

The clock is ticking!

I've been prescribed two highly potent antibiotics and if all communications with the parasite fail, it will unfortunately have to be eradicated.

Your job dear friends, is to find the perfect name for my parasite!

I will post the 10 best names and then we can draw the winner from that list.