When I was a kid this is the look I wished to have when I grew up!

I wanted to be mysterious!

A Master of the Dark Arts!

Mesmeric!

However, standing in the narrow alleyway in the middle of the night taking pictures as people pass by, I wonder if it was an empty wish.

Should I have put more effort in detailing and fleshing out what I could have been?

I should have put more effort in figuring out how to have adventure and better math skills. I should have traveled more. Learned Spanish. Typing.

I feel my life would have been easier, instead of worrying about making more money, if I could just have been born wealthy.

I always believed that if you worked at a job you loved, that it wouldn't really be work, it would feel like free money, but what happens when what you love to do and are passionate about, makes no money?

What if all your skills are useless to employers?

What if no one wants the drugs you're pushing?

What if no one wants to hear about the dream you had last night?

What if no one tells you they love you?

What if that great big, dumb cowboy crap of yours don't appeal to nobody except every jockey on 42nd Street? That's faggot stuff! You wanna call it by its name? That's strictly for fags!

...John Wayne! You wanna tell me he's a fag? I like the way I look. It makes me feel good. It does. And women like me, god-dammit. Hell, only one thing I've ever been good for is lovin'. Women go crazy for me. That's a really true fact.