Seems like most of my friends are waitresses.

Well, except for the guys, and I guess they call themselves servers. Maybe the girls too call themselves servers, thinking waitress is a bit sexist, but I don't see it that way.

Since I was sick I haven't eaten anything but fruit and when I did try something solid, I got very sick and it all came up.

So I was trying to be good and buy fruit at the store, but it turns out there is a place I can eat a pretty big bowl of fresh fruit cheaper than I could buy it.

I eat there a lot and they all know me well. Maybe too well. There's this one waitress that is pretty hot. I mean really hot! Scarlett Johansson hot, seriously. If you go there, you'll know who I'm talking about.

Anyway, she says, "You're eating a lot of fruit. When I eat too much fruit, I get the shits."

Now, somehow because she's hot, she can get away with it. I might have even gagged more if it had been one of the skanky ones, but there are no skanky ones there. Still, I'm eating and she feels comfortable enough to share this with me.

She is right about it though.

With all the delicious fruit I've been consuming, It's like I'm a Jack LaLanne Power Juicer! What comes out looks like you could chill and it becomes a smoothy! I go to the bathroom and there are so many bright colors it's like Disney took a dump!

Best part? Smells like flowers!