Hauling a 4.5 billion year old payload, NASA's Stardust mission touched down in Utah's west desert early Sunday.

Like a lonely saucer looking to bring a secret message just for that special one. The lil' capsule contains pieces of the Wild 2 comet, which is believed to have formed during the earliest days of the solar system. The preserved material will reveal new details about the origins of the planets and the sun. But what I really want to know is, What's it gonna take to get you out of those sweet sweet panties of yours?

It marks the end of a seven year journey during which the Stardust spacecraft buzzed a comet in 2004 to collect debris. I'm currently trashing my collection of debris that I'm tired of hauling around every time I move. Damn nomad, I am!

I remember the ill-fated Genesis mission, when the probe slammed into the desert in September 2004 after both parachutes failed to deploy because of incorrectly installed sensors.

Since then, my sensors are calibrated a bit too high, When I see a body that I want to slam into, they kick in and deploy some weird safety device that prevents me from enjoying a smooth re-entry.

All the atoms in our Earth and our bodies were in stardust before the solar system formed, but I know yours at the most special of all!

I believe yours to be the more pristine examples of the building blocks of our solar system than any other existing material. Wouldn't you feel more comfortable without all those tight garments?

Lets maneuver our own craft to a landing on the moist salt flats. Our capsule is bounced several times before coming to a stop. In all the juggling around your brassiere comes easily undone.

Using your infrared cameras and following my probe's radio beacon, I eject my payload and we make our own Space Opera... A naughty one!