It really is worthless to be a germ phobic person when you still get sick after washing your hands so much. I can't stand being sick!

A friend stopped by with some Sonic treats and it was so sad, cause I couldn't taste any of the magic.

Still have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. I let a few jobs in other states that were offered to me slide and get filled with others because I was waiting to see what would come my way locally. Well, nothing local.

It's very easy to slip into panic when wondering where the funds are going to be coming from to pay bills and food needs. People always just offer, "Oh, you're so talented I wouldn't worry. You'll get another gig." Well, it's nice to hear, but nothing changes.

Some ask if I'll stay in Fresno, but without a good job, what's the point of staying in Fresno? Just because The Cheesecake Factory is coming to town, doesn't make this a cool place to live.

I was just typing that last sentence while E!'s 101 Most Shocking Moments talked about Anne Heche going nuts and frightening a family by telling them she was God. Know where she was when she went crazy? That's right! Fresno!!!

It's a sign from God!

A friend has been asking me to show him some stuff I've shot for a TV show idea I've had, but it's hard for me to show him because he's so critical of other people's creations that I am afraid of what he'll say about what I've done. He's a very talented producer and his opinion means a lot to me, but in many ways I don't want his opinion because I'm scared.

He just finished a film and it's premiere is coming up and he too seems worried about people's reaction to it. I guess it's never easy for anyone.

I need some cheesecake...