Woman Charged $1,133 to Clip Toenail

A lawsuit spawned by a $1,133 bill to clip a toenail
and run some tests at a hospital has been certified as
a class action.

The officials say the downtown operation is authorized
by Medicare to charge higher fees because it is
licensed as a hospital, and they maintain that such
charges are a standard industry practice.

One unidentified doctor who had a procedure on his own
toe at the downtown complex e-mailed Virginia Mason
chief executive Dr. Gary Kaplan last year after being
billed $1,200, including a facilities charge of
$1,138.

"I call it obscene," the doctor fumed.

During a birthday party for her kid sister, Caroline
tied a pair of helium balloons to Mousie the mouse and
began pushing her around the house, partly to give her
rodent friend an aerial view of his lodgings and
partly to find out how many balloons it takes to float
a mouse.

But someone left her bedroom window open and, as
Caroline watched in horror, a sudden gust carried the
floating Mousie out the window, past the maple tree in
the backyard, over the rooftop and gone.

Caroline and her mother began running down the street,
trailing the floating mouse.

They plastered the neighborhood with flyers, posted a
missing mouse notice online. They offered a $100
reward. They placed a classified ad in The Chronicle,
perhaps the most woeful classified ad in the 140-year
history of this newspaper.

So far, nothing. A few crank calls, from people who
fail to understand the gravity of the situation, but
no mouse.

"This whole thing is a tragedy,'' Caroline said. "I
know there are bigger tragedies, like the hurricane.
But it's a tragedy to me.''

Mousie, it should be pointed out, is not a live mouse
but a 3-inch-tall stuffed mouse.

An adult film star who once ran for California
governor agreed to behave for a year or face jail
after allegedly touching herself inappropriately
during a dance routine at a strip club, according to a
report.

Mary Ellen Cook, 25 -- better known as porn actress
Mary Carey -- was arrested in Lakewood, Wash., last
year after performing a dance act.

Cook was respectful to the judge, but outside the
courtroom she blasted the state's strip club laws,
calling them extremely ridiculous.

She said she's now thinking about moving to Washington
so she can do what she did in California, run for
governor with the platform of promoting more liberal
adult entertainment laws.

I too have been thinking of moving to Washington...