I had a great time watching The Emmys!

I rarely watch them, but I was cleaning my guns
and didn't know where the remote was, so I let
it roll.

Pretty good! My highlights are:
David Letterman talking about Johnny Carson
Jon Stewart talking about David Letterman
Dan Rather and Tom Brokaw talking about
Peter Jennings
The Black Eyed Peas singing with a rap verse,
about Martha Stewart: "Went to jail, got a show,
that's the way entertainment goes."
William Shatner of "Boston Legal" receiving best
supporting actor honors and performing the
"Star trek" theme... Fantastic!

Motley Crue lead singer Vince Neil is recovering from
a leg injury after slipping off stage during a
performance. The band was about five songs into the
concert when Neil leaned over to sing along with the
audience and slipped off stage.

I want to see that video so bad!

Christopher Paolini could be mistaken for a student.
He's just 21, and the author of two best-selling
fantasy epics, "Eragon" and the new best seller
"Eldest." He's under contract to write the third book
of what is called his "Inheritance Trilogy," and a
movie version of "Eragon" is currently filming in
Hungary, starring John Malkovich and Jeremy Irons.

Not bad for a project Paolini began when he was just
15.

Now, Paolini doubts he'll ever attend college.

"To be honest about it, I make my living right now
writing down my daydreams, which is a wonderful job.
As far as I'm concerned, it's the best job in the
world."

In its first week of release last month, "Eldest" sold
more than 425,000 hardcover copies, making it the
biggest single-week sale ever recorded for a Random
House. There are 1.8 million copies in print.

Ireland's national TV station and the BCC was ordered
to hold back an advertisement featuring disintegrating
Zombies until after the watershed viewing time of 9pm
when most children are asleep.

The ad for an energy drink infringed advertising
codes, in particular the general principle that a
commercial should be "decent."

The ad features images of Zombies whose limbs fall off
and whose eyeballs pop out.

The watchdog said the images were particularly graphic
and children could be frightened.

Zombie Minority Groups have protested this ban puts
their image in a bad light.

Supermodel Kate Moss acknowledged that tabloid
allegations that she recently used cocaine are true,
The Daily Mirror printed images from a video
which it said showed the model doing five lines of
cocaine in 40 minutes at a late-night music recording
session, preparing them with a credit card and
snorting the drug through a five-pound note.

Kate Moss Apologized for Drug Use!!!, but I say, Kate,
you are so hot and thin and don't Apologize, because
if it wasn't for you, I would never have been
introduced to the sweet-sweet appetite curing effects
of Coke, blow, flake, candy, nose candy, pepsi, coca
puffs, "C", Charlie, toot, gold dust, AKA, Vitamin C,
snow, girl, glass, the real thing, white lady, o.k.,
okey doke, or the King's nose detergent!

Thank you, Kate! Thank you for making me a waif!

Caroline Young died of kidney failure at Fresno's
University Medical Center. Before you get too sad,
listen... She had been an inmate at Central California
Women's Facility in Chowchilla. One of California's 15
female death row inmates.

Young was convicted in 1993 of two counts of murder in
connection with knife attacks on her two
grandchildren.

Young had been on death row at the women's prison
since October 1995.

The Wilson family arrived in Hanford after moving from
the New Orleans Convention Center to the Astrodome in
Texas to Arkansas. But a valley realtor stepped in and
arranged to have the couple and their 3 boys live in a
brand new house. The best part is they don't have to
pay rent or utilities for a year.

With huricane weather and more huricane's on the way,
some crop growers are concerned how valley weather
will be affected when it comes to growing Weed!

Caltrans is now hiring for Fresno, Stockton, Bishop
and San Luis Obispo.

They also offer a long list of benefits such as:
alternate work schedules; bereavement leave; health,
dental and vision insurance; educational
reimbursement; employee assistance program; family,
parental, military & other leaves; paid holidays;
retirement plans; savings plus plans such as 401k;
sick leave; and paid vacation time.

I've applied as Bus tour guide announcing interesting
sights and tidbits of info on locations like crime
scenes and drive by shootings... Look to the left and
you'll see where "Fresno Uncensored" was shot and if
you look to the right you'll see where the Yang
brothers were shot.

Subject: More Watts Wolf Ape
To: lentz2001@yahoo.com

Hello Jerry,

It was my weekend with my kid and so I took him to the
Library. While I was there, I thought about what that
listener of yours said about searching for Watts
Valley Wolf Ape stories at the library, so I send my
kid off read childrens books and I started looking for
monster pictures.

After a while a Librarian came over and asked if I
needed help. I told her about the Wolf Ape Stories
you've told on the show and calls from listeners...
She seemed weirded out by me and left.

I felt odd about my excitement in telling her,
embarrassed and I wanted to leave. Suddenly an older
man came over who I guess works in the back. He said
she told him what I was looking for and he remembered
hearing about it when he was a little boy. That must
have been long time ago, cause this guy looked to be
about 200 years old.

He pulled up a chair and told me about a one room
school house where the Wolf Ape, then known he said as
"The Devil Fang" busted in while students and the
teacher was in fear.

All the kids piled their desks up and climbed up into
the rafters while the teacher locked himself into a
closet. The wolf ape prowled around under the kids
feet as they all screamed. It tore open the desks to
get the lunch bags the kids brought to eat.

The old man said all the fathers got together and
tried hunting it down. He then told me the same story
you told about the Preacher killing one and hanging it
up at his church for all to see. But he said the
Preacher sold it to a man in a traveling circus freak
show. The Preacher made so much money he moved to San
Francisco to built a church there, but was murdered so
badly they couldn't identify his body for a long time.
People then said it was a curse of the "Devil
Fang/Wolf Ape."

As the old man told me this I looked and everyone in
the Library was listening. I don't think a Library has
ever been as quiet.

See what I get for listening to you!

Justin

Residents of a German city were warned not to let
their children play alone outdoors after a wolf beast
was at large despite an intense search by police,
hunters and a helicopter.

"It's a very ferocious animal that won't be easy to
catch," the spokesman said.

Although the wolf should pose little danger to people
unless cornered or harassed, police advised people to
ensure their children did not play alone outdoors and
to keep their dogs leashed while out walking.

Rogue Groups of villagers with torches and pitchforks
are out on the hunt to destroy the Wolf Monster.
Another group of Animal Rights Protesters lead by 22
year old fashion model Alice Lang attempting to
protect the wolf was attacked by the beast.

A company I used to work for has stepped up to the
plate... Video makers notorious for filming women
flashing their breasts said they will donate revenues
from "Girls Gone Wild" episodes tied to Mardi Gras to
the Red Cross to help Hurricane Katrina victims.

Swimming Loch Ness was barely tolerable for a group of
nude swimmers who surrendered to bad weather.

Their charity stunt, a nude 23-mile lap and bait for a
Loch Ness Monster ended as temperatures sank and winds
rose.

"We swam all through the night and successfully
completed one length in 14 hours and four minutes but
the conditions were so bad we couldn't go on," said
the first swimmer to set off in the nude.

British Naturism had organized the sponsored relay to
raise money for Cancer Research UK.

Subject: Area 69
To: lentz2001@yahoo.com

Jerry and Area 69 aliens,

When I was about 5 or 6 my mom bought me and my twin
sister a lollipop. You know the old school pinwheel
kind? Anyway, I finished mine off and my sister being
mean as she still is today had to go to bed without
getting hers.

Even with a sugar high I was asleep when a bright Blue
light fill our room. I heard my skates fall onto the
floor and rolled over to see what is now the popular
tall skinny Gray alien holding onto my sister Kelly's
lollipop looking at it really close.

I think I would have been scared, but seeing it
holding a lollipop made it kind of cute. I remember
thinking in my head, "Please go ahead and eat it, my
sister is a meanie."

Then it turned and looked at me with it's big bug eyes
and in my head it said to me, "This is for eating?"
Then it put it in a yellow bag it was carrying.

In the morning my sister was crying and I heard my dad
lie to her and tell her that he got hungry and ate it,
but that he would get another one.

My sister always gets her way with dad, men, and even
with aliens.

My name is Karen, You may not remember me but I showed
you my ass once, but you must see so many asses.

I love the show! Keep Rocking!