Man, I couldn't wait for this day to get here!

I have so many plans, yet no energy to even attempt
to accomplish them.

Sister Mary Michael the 61-year-old Catholic nun hates
"The Da Vinci Code," a film based on the Dan Brown
best-seller and starring Tom Hanks that is being
filmed this week at the towering Gothic cathedral in
her home of England.

I love England and old cathedrals. I wish I could live
in England. I bet I would be just as misserable there
as I am here.

The sister staged a 12-hour prayer vigil to protest at
the decision to let director Ron Howard use it in his
movie of the novel, which has angered the Vatican by
suggesting Jesus was married and had children.

Senior Vatican officials have said the book is an
example of "literary and artistic parasitism," which
insults the Christian faith and should be shunned like
rotten food.

Sister Mary Michael does not want to take her
opposition too far. She has sent Hanks a gift of a
potted plant with a note declaring "no hard feelings."

You know she was trying to get some...

A former child actor and his wife were ordered to
stand trial for the murder of a wealthy California
couple who were tied to the anchor of their yacht and
thrown overboard alive, never to be seen again.

Skylar Deleon, who appeared in the "Power Rangers" TV
series, and his wife, stand trial for the murders.

Prosecutors say Deleon came up with the plot after
spotting the yacht for sale in a boating magazine last
November and meeting owners Thomas Hawks, 57, and his
47-year-old wife Jackie.

A police detective testified during the hearing that
Deleon and his then-pregnant wife posed as interested
buyers and convinced the Hawks to take the yacht on a
test run.

Miles off the coast of Newport Beach, Thomas and
Jackie Hawks were attacked with a stun gun, handcuffed
and gagged with duct tape. After signing over power of
attorney to one assailant, they were tied to the
boat's 66-pound anchor and thrown overboard.

Where are the Power Rangers when you need them?

Jeff Goldblum has signed on to narrate the first nine
episodes of AMC's new original series "Movies That
Shook the World," The documentary series explores why
certain movies were so "explosive" when they were
released, the new paths they blazed and why they
remain so influential today. Among the films to be
spotlighted are "The Graduate," "Birth of a Nation,"
"Do the Right Thing," "Fatal Attraction" and "The
China Syndrome."

What? No, "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous."

The family of a disabled seven-year-old boy wants an
apology from a movie theater after the manager threw
him out for laughing too loudly.

The parents of Anthony Pratti say it happened in
Wallkill, New York, when they took their son to see
"March of the Penquins."

The boy has cerebral palsy and autism. The family says
he was enjoying the movie from his wheelchair when a
theater worker said he was laughing too loudly, and
would have to leave.

Too bad it wasn't something like, "Schindler's List."

Gina Pratti said they would try to have their son
laugh more quietly, but the manager wanted him to
leave.

She says she was dumbfounded when the manager told
them the entire family didn't have to go, just the boy
in the wheelchair.

The manager refunded everyone's money.

A representative of Loews Cineplex are looking into
the matter.

The Potomac Nationals of the Carolina League are ready
to let the fur fly later this month.

The Class-A affiliate of the Washington Nationals will
hold its first-ever "Hairiest Back at the Ballpark"
contest before their game against a team from Salem,
Va.

Man, do I need to be lasered!

According to the team's press release, the winner will
receive a complimentary laser hair removal service
valued at $2,500.

Is that what it's gonna cost me?

In addition, there will be a drawing for a
complimentary laser removal service worth $1,200 for
those fans who do not want to participate in the
contest.

Two teens are under arrest after a click of the
computer mouse led police right to them. The two
allegedly burglarized a home. Then, they created a Web
site and posted pictures of their ill-gotten goods in
an attempt to sell them.

Police, operating on a tip, visited the site and
showed it to the burglary victim who then identified
his stuff; $20,000 worth of electronics and computer
equipment.

Police knew how to find the alleged burglars because
they posted their contact information on the Web site.

Dumb asses!

"We were able to see everything that was on there.
Also, it was photographed inside the background of a
house," said Mundelein police investigator Paul
Werfelman. "We were able to narrow down that we were
on the right track and we had the right equipment and
the right house."

It reminds me of that e-mail going around that showed
that nude fat guy's reflection in the coffee pot he
posted on eBay.