This is my Rockstar friend Butterfly again.

She's in the band PsychoQueen. This is her visiting me. Her boyfriend is in China working on some Hong Kong action films.

She's lonely.

She needs love.

I want to give it to her, but not only is her boyfriend a complete Chinese Stud (wow, I just realized I've never heard the term, "Chinese Stud" before...) he's capable of killing me with one finger. He's like Jet Li only different.

I ran into an old friend today at Borders on Ventura. I was listening to West Indian Girl and the song "Hollywood."

I felt a tap on my shoulder and it was a girl from my neighborhood that I kinda had a crush on once when I met her walking dogs for some rich dog loving people.

I was married at the time I first met her, but always found her sweet and friendly. She's completely a free spirit and a talented painter.

She's barefooted every time I see her and once I mentioned a skirt I saw in a magazine made out of old men's ties. A week later I see her again and she runs back home, puts on the skirt she had just made herself, put it on and ran back to show me.

She put on a fashion show right there in the street.

At Borders she was picking up a new book by Sark and was impressed that I knew who she was.

We walked over and sat in the Cafe and see told me about moving to Portland with a guy she met on Craig's List when she was looking for someone to hook up her computer to a printer.

He did a lot of work fixing her computer and when it came time to pay him, she found that she had left her purse at her sister's house. So, embarrassed she offered to make him dinner. They hit it off and started dating.

They moved to Oregon and they moved in with his sister in a huge house.

They dated for, I think she said, "Three Months" and then she found out he was married and had a family... And a secret life!

But she's still friends with his sister who is the one who broke the news to her.

We talked for quite a while and she even told me how on the day we first met out on the street with all those dogs, she wanted to take me back to her place and make love to me.

She said she hinted and hinted, but either I didn't catch on, or I was just so happily in Love with my then wife I didn't pay attention.

All I remember about that scene was there were two dogs that wouldn't stop humping each other and one small one that was humping my leg.

I guess with all that humping...

I was too distracted to catch her advances.

She may have been hinting to me that tonight love could be possible again, but I must be in another place right now...

It just doesn't feel right somehow.

This is my friend Fernando.



He's an artist who's very funny and sweet. He's married, but girls love to flirt with him. He asked me why don't I ever put his photo on my webpage? Well, I have...

While hanging out with him, I saw the cutest girl with the coolest haircut. Her name is Nicole and I invited her to an art exhibit that's coming up in a few weeks, so I'm hoping she'll show up for that, but I doubt it.

I was pretending not to notice her as she was talking to a friend of hers, so as they talked I wrote out a Craig's List Personal Ad that I'm hoping will bring cool and funny girls into my life.

We'll see...

Learn from Gov. James McGreevey... Don't hide your true self! - 39 (Abu Ghraib Prison Complex)

Learn from Gov. James McGreevey, who appointed his gay lover to a high-paying anti-terrorism job.

He had a homosexual affair, while McGreevey, 47, is a married father of two. He said he was resigning because he had violated his marriage vows by having the affair, which affects his ability to do his job.

If you want to be my lover, yet have Lesbian urges that need to be fulfilled, make sure that you come to me first... I don't want this to affect your job performance.

If you find it difficult to do your job to clean up, wash the dishes, do my laundry, and do what I need you to do around my place, then maybe we should talk about you taking a five to ten minute break with a hot looking lipstick Lesbian.

For God sake, come to me first, so I can set up my video equipment.

I know, I know... Sure we can sell the videos, but if I may be so bold to suggest, that we actually might learn something about you and your desires and needs.

Who knows this other chick might really be cool and also enjoy taking care of chores around my house, maybe she'll love washing my stinking clothes with you.

You two can get in your bikinis and soak up as you wash my exotic Honda Civic. I can get inside the car as the two of you slide your breast across my windshield like that scene from "Cool Hand Luke."

Then maybe you two can change the oil and see if you can tell what that knocking sound might be under the hood.

Then after all that sweaty wet work you'll be rewarded with a nice meal you started before your play time began. Keep it low carb! Remember she's a lipstick Lesbian, not a tough mannish Lesbian. You don't want her getting away.

See how much better it is for everyone just to be themselves? No secrets!

Everything videotaped!

Now taking applications for potential lovers and Homeland Security Officer of my apartment.