An old friend who I haven't talked with in some time was on the News the other day talking about a Star Trek episode that is being recreated in front of a live audience at The Improv in Irvine.

Mike Carano is a totally cool guy who has so much talent it's scary.

I can't wait to see him again and see this crazy show!




Aaron is also thinking of getting a cool phone. He'll probably get something with Bluetooth, whatever that is...

I want something I can take pics, send e-mail, check the web, has a calender, oh and can make calls with too!

I want something that has a good connection. Every time Aaron calls me on his, I think he's calling from somewhere under the ocean. It's horrible!

I think I'd like to get one of those Blackberries, or Blueberries, Crunchberries, or whatever their called. I see some people with them and it looks like a blast.

I've been thinking of how one might do an entire feature film created by their picture phone. Just a "Tarnation" kind of film chronicling their time.

I've been writing a script between editing the current film I'm thinking of dropping... I've been calling it, "What Happened When I Called in Sick!" it's about a dude whose been poisoned at a party in Venice and he has to make it to his home in the Valley hallucinating all along the way in real time.

Aaron went to see "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle" and had a great time. I dunno, maybe I'll go see it later today.

My evil landlord sent me this wonderful e-mail, prepare to be offended:

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
One US leader.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
100 people who don't do dick..

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
Are you sure it's mine?"

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

What's the Cuban National Anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

There!

Hope you enjoyed!