I was having lunch today when a guy at the next table got into an argument with his girlfriend by saying something like, "I don't think you need another serving of that, cause I'm no chubby chaser like John Edwards is."

Holy Mackerel!

She got up and walked out on him with him trailing behind apologizing.

Everyone in the place noticed it and after they were gone looked around at each other with raised eyebrows.

Relationships are fragile and must be watered daily with love and understanding.

I fell asleep with the radio on and I guess there was News about the woman that just won a third of our huge Lottery.

It reminded me of the joke:

A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs
into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her
lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The
husband says,

'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or
mountain stuff?"

Doesn't matter," she says. "Just get the hell out."

I just heard the great News that my neighbor that no longer talks to me is getting married!

I think it's great!

She broke up with a long term relationship and seemed rather sad, but in just a few short weeks meets a great new guy. Now they are getting hitched!

The heart has no clock, yet it ticks.

I was so sad to hear one of my favorite Broadcasters Larry McCormick, one of the first black TV news anchors in Los Angeles and a veteran of 33 years at KTLA, died at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. He was 71.

He also had a great half hour show that I never missed called "Making It" about small business that was just wonderful.

He also was in many movies like, "Gus" and "Superdad" both with Bob Crane.

My friend Aaron's Dad Robert Graysmith wrote the book that the film, "Auto Focus" is based on and I just sent a copy to my brother. My Baptist/Church going brother.

I'm waiting to hear the results of viewing.

Larry McCormick also got dressed up and announced my wedding on the KTLA News and made several funny and sweet comments about the event.


Larry McCormick dead, just like my love life...

Never! Ever! Get married at a Restaurant!

Unless you want divorce in your future...

But now that I'm single...

Let me shave you. Here's how I shave bush.

Why do we sometimes find body hair so disgusting? I mean, it's there for some reason right?

Little girls love furry Teddy Bears, but grow up disturbed by their man's back hair...?

This might be a cool way to get close to one another. Imagine that the hair is like the wrapping on a sweet present that needs to be removed before the prize is revealed.

It could be so intimate and so rewarding. That smooth feeling. So fresh and free.

I saw a t-shirt that said, "Jesus Shaves."

Cleanliness is next to...

Get close to me.

I'll oil you up afterwords and slide you around the large sheet of plastic I've stretched out on my floor. Like some perverse Slip n' Slide you flail around like a fish, a dolphin, or maybe a beautiful mermaid.

We'll collect the huge pile of hair and sculpt animal shapes and sell them on eBay.

If this sounds at all like something you need to do to prove to yourself that you are the perfect woman, please contact me.