Think I'm coming down with something.

The weather has changed a bit, maybe that has to do with it, but also, I've been around a lot of sick people lately, some physically sick too.

My back hurts. My head hurts. My ass hurts.

I've been listening to George Noory talk with Michael Horn of They Fly, the authorized American media representative for alien contactee, Billy Meier, the one armed guy who has had an amazing life among good looking aliens.

At first I thought Horn was Roy Horn and he would talk about his tiger mauling, but soon realized I was just plain out of it.

I really want an alien contact. Not so much the anal probing, but even then sometimes when I'm lonely I do fantasize...

I'd like the Billy Meier kind of aliens to be my friends, cause they sound cool, kind, and smart, plus the chick alien sounds like she looks like Bjork.

Maybe it is Bjork.

I meet a lot of the MUFON people at a dinner I eat at and sometimes get food poisoning at, and they all tell me not to wish for the alien experience. They tell me I wouldn't like it.

I don't like working for a living either.

I have so few friends anyway.

I'm not dating anyone.

I feel ugly.

Think having an alien contact is going to make my life any worse?

I believe that I'm a lovable guy. I'm friendly. Witty in a conversation. A good listener sometimes. I bet I could talk an alien into letting me photograph him or her. I might even get them to pose. Do a little fashion work. Maybe a few nude shots.

I wonder if they have hair down there, you know what I mean? Do they shave? You see a lot of alien camel toe photos. I wonder if it's their spacesuits that are too tight, or it's their skin?

I wouldn't mind having sex with an alien if she looked like that Vulcan piece of ass Jolene Blalock on Star Trek: Enterprise, or the late Persis Khambatta from Star Trek: The Motion Picture, but if she looks like A.L.F., or some female Predator... Forget it.

Told you I wasn't feeling well.