Courtney Love surrenders to the Law. Will you surrender your love to me?

Will you surrender to Love?

The love I can provide?

Courtney will get new court date. All I want is a date date...

She's entering an "institution" on the East Coast. Do you believe in the institution of "Courtship?"

According to the Los Angeles Police Department's Wilshire station, "She was very cooperative throughout the entire process." Will you be that cooperative when we go out?

After a thorough strip search we can get a Baja Burrito at Baja Fresh. I got a free coupon!

We can go see a movie like Hilary Duff's "A Cinderella Story" and since we'll be the oldest ones there, we can throw things at the teens and ruin their movie going experience like they done so many times.

After that we could go by Amoeba, bring in a huge crate of CD's to have evaluated for their worthlessness and when the buyer gives up a price after all his hard work we can just say, "Oh, that's okay, I changed my mind."

Walk away, but then walk back in and hand the same crate to another buyer to do the same thing.

We could go to Hollywood Thai and get BBQ Pork, then you can get up to sing bad karaoke, then break into a nasty striptease till we get kicked out.

Maybe we can just drive up to Ventura.

Maybe you can write some songs about our night and about the drive.

Maybe we can record you singing them on the beach with the sound of the surf in the background.

I'll shoot the video.

You'll be a star!

In your euphoric heroin high, you have sex with me and I capture it all on camera.

Later, after all your success and numerous concerts and TV appearances, and your breakup with me, I'll sell the sex tape to an internet porn site.

You'll stop by my mansion late at night and fire off some shots into it, missing me, but wounding my houseboy.

You'll be arrested.

You post bail.

Your record sales skyrocket!

You flee the country.

Later, after you've detoxed, you'll realize I was the best thing for you and you come back to me.

We embrace and make love.

All videotaped of course. I'm not too stupid...

We get married in Vegas and visit my houseboy in the Hospital.

A true Cinderella Story...

In an effort to be a serious actress Hilary Duff secures the rights to play you in the biography.

The three of us hangout together.

Paul Schrader signs on as director.

My new friend producer Sean Daniel will, well, produce.

I meet the actor to play me. I'm disappointed to find that they've chosen Jason Alexander best known as George Constanza on the NBC series 'Seinfeld.'

I feel I look nothing like him and I frankly don't believe audiences want to see him and Hilary Duff having sex onscreen.

Later, in Renny Harlin's version of the film, I am correctly played by Colin Farrell who also looks nothing like me, but I feel he captures my true essence.

Well at this point the Romance with you has been great!

I think we'll get along just fine.

You are so wonderful that when critics and audiences hail Paul Schrader's version of our life with Jason Alexander playing me getting an Oscar, you are able to comfort me.

You know just what I like...

That's right, because your bellybutton is an inny, you fill it up with Ranch Dressing, lay on your back and let me dip my tater-tots in your button as I watch Monica Vitti videos.

You're so cool!