Today I got notice that I am named in a possible Lawsuit by RIAA for the unlawful downloading of music. I haven't actually seen the documents so I can not say for sure what it's all about.

I rarely downloaded any mp3's other than old radio shows and audio books. I have many mp3's available of my own personal work that I've made available for others to download, so maybe there is some confusion on their part.

Anyway...

While shooting some video today a friend introduced me to a young guy who has a thin piece of wire that he slips into a parking meter and is able to ring up minutes and even hours of free time. I've never seen anything like it. I was excited and then worried about just being seen standing next to him while he performed this act. I wondered just how big a trouble he'd be in for if he were caught?

It's getting close to September 11th and tonight on PBS I was watching Ric Burns' documentary about New York and they showed the planes crashing and people leaping to their deaths. Then when they showed the towers collapsing...

I had a swarm of horrible feelings come over me and I started crying very hard...

Very hard...

I really don't know what came over me.

I remember back to that morning not being able to find where my wife's plane, or even her... were.

I remember the call from American Airlines telling me to stay by the phone.

I remember the Hotel where she had been, telling me she had already flown out.

I remember my friend Aaron coming over to help me handle all that was going on.

I remember all the days she and I were apart while she went through Flight Training to be a Flight Attendant just like her mother.

I remember knowing how it feels to have her die...

...and then hours later to have her alive when she's found.

I remember feeling the pain of not being able to see her for what seemed like weeks after this because all flights were canceled.

I remember how American provided them all with therapy for those days and how I had none.

I remember the feelings of the marriage slipping away.

The divorce.

The silence.

It all came rushing into me like a train.

I want to hide.

I want everyone who is mean to die.

Kill them all.

and...

I still want to love them all.

To tell them that there is no cause for their anger.

Your anger is eating you. I don't want this anger to eat at me.

So I will instead love you.

But this love will not make me weak. I will love you even though you are hating us. I will love you when you are teaching your children to throw stones at us, or blow themselves up.

And I will still love you when armies wipe you off the face of the Earth.

But I will love you from a far.