It's sad that all the people I used to look up to have fallen so hard; Pee Wee Herman, Pete Townsend, Jeffery Jones, Gary Glitter, Paula Poundstone, R. Kelly, wait a second... I don't remember really ever looking up to them. I guess I always knew something wasn't quite right. I feel sorry for the little ones that do look up. They don't need to look up and see nuts bouncing around acting all silly.

I wish life was easier for kids. People get all mad when they hear about children carrying guns, but look at what kids have to deal with. I say teach 'em how to shoot straight, then hand out condoms and bullets. People say, "What about all the people wounded each year by kids using guns?" I say, if you teach them how shoot STRAIGHT, there won't be that many wounded. It's those Uzi and automatics that children have problems shooting. Give them tactical training, nice handguns and some Michael Jackson posters for targets... Problem solved!